It Has Happened

Good Morning



I have read in several books and articles that children at the age of six act on their impulses without the aid of a conscience. They are guided by consequence and expectations instead of their own sense of responsibility. In fact in most courts of law children under the age of seven are rarely prosecuted or held responsible for their actions even in the most extreme crimes.



The fear of getting caught is a strong deterrent versus a true understanding of right and wrong.



For some reason at the age of seven the light bulb goes on and children gain empathy and understanding.



I am proud and very pleased to say that this change has suddenly occurred with my seven year old.



Last night I was cuddling with her as I put her to bed. She says, "Did you ever do something...(pause)....then wish you hadn't?" I answered, "Yes I have. Everyone has made mistakes." She asked, "But what is that feeling you have?" I said, "Regret". She paused a few moments as we cuddled.



She asked me what I regretted. I told her when I get too angry and say something that may hurt someone else's feelings, I regret that. When I raise my voice at her, I regret that. I gave her a few other examples. She nodded her head in agreement understanding what I was saying.





Then she looked me in the eye and softly she said, "You know the small shovel you use to plant things?" I said , "Yes".

She said, "I was trying to dig up a rock and I bent it. Then I tried to bend it back but couldn't. I'm sorry."



I accepted her apology immediately. Thanked her for telling me. Then breathed a big sigh of relief. She has it. It reinforces my confidence in our parenting.



I am so proud of her.

Joytobe