Thursday, September 30, 2010


I am taking a couple of days hiatus. Yeah for me. Too bad for you.

Enjoy the quotes.

"If you don't have a sense of humor, you don't have any sense at all." --unknown

"Time's fun when you're having flies." --Kermit the Frog

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

September 29, 2001

I love you honey!

You are the calm to my worry.

You are the reasoning to my crazy.

You are the encouragement to my insecurity.

You are the foundation to my home.

You are the laughter to my humor.

You are the shoulder to my tears.

You are the plan to my dreams.

You are the vibrancy to my days.

You are the absolute to my forever.

You are the everything to my world.

Happy Anniversary

I love you!


On a humorous side note: Dang I should write hallmark cards!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Proposal

Okay so we did everything backwards. We moved in together before we were married. Talked of getting married. Picked a date and started wedding planning before the proposal.

Started trying to conceive two months before we got married. We had a timing issue. We wanted to have a baby soon but we also wanted Billy to be in town (not with his dad) when the baby was born. So we tried for two months. Then stopped trying (just practiced...8)...) for three months. Then started trying again. and viola!

Went on the honeymoon two months before we got married. It's just our wacky way.

So Jeff had gone to the jeweler. He wanted to get an alexandrite (my favorite stone in the world) for my wedding ring. Well alexandrites aren't very popular and are rare. So the jeweler had to order it.

I felt pretty strongly that I wanted a ring before we went on our honeymoon. Makes sense right? So the day before we were to leave Jeff went to the jeweler to get the ordered stone. I knew this was happening.

So that night it was soooo hot outside. I came in from work and took off my shirt, don't get all excited or upset. Billy was out of town. Savanah was just a twinkle in her Daddy's eye. It was flippin hot so I stood in the kitchen in my pants and bra.

Jeff walked in the door from the jewelers. I was excited to see the ring of course but acted all casual. "Hi Honey! Yeah for vacation!" I gave him a kiss. We talked for a few more minutes about our trip the next day.

I had turned around fixing the coffee pot. Jeff said, "Honey, I'm sorry but they got the wrong stone. I don't have the ring."

I inhaled deeply, "Oh no really?" I was so disappointed. I was even a little mad. Why had he waited to the last minute? I was about to say something not so nice. When I turned around to give him a piece of my disappointed mind, I was shocked. There he was on his knee, ring box opened with the most beautiful ring inside.

Then the sweetest words ever spoken.

"Will you marry me?"

"Oh yes!! YES!!!" I jumped up and down. I was silently thankful for the bra! And boy did I feel like a jerk for almost getting mad!

And that is how it happened.

And they lived happily ever after!

One more day honey and it'll be 9 years!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Square of my Heart

This square means the world to me. It means everything to me. This ugly old piece of brown linoleum played an integral part in a moment that changed my life forever.

You see once upon a time my husband knelt on this very piece of flooring when he proposed to me.

When we had the floor replaced I cut out the exact square where his knee sat.

I know I said it was ugly but you know what, it is beautiful, isn't it?

Now the story of the proposal is kinda funny and not traditional but I'll save that for tomorrow.

Happy almost Anniversary Honey,


Sunday, September 26, 2010

No Post Sunday Quote

Enjoy your family.

"Angst is optional." - unknown

Saturday, September 25, 2010

No Post Saturday Quote

Enjoy your day!

"I found that in entertaining, as well as in life, it's best to surrender to the natural chaos around you. You'll have so much more fun." --Ree Drummond - Pioneer Woman

Friday, September 24, 2010

aaaacccckkkkk It's happening

The leaves are changing. See my evidence.

I have a LOVE/HATE relationship with the changing colors. It is so beautiful. Truly breathtaking eye candy. The colors are indescribable. Glowing. Love it.

But it is a fleeting beauty.

The hate part is that it only last a good week. So short especially if we get some wind. Then all the trees are barren, preparing for the long brutal Minnesota winter. Once the leaves are gone... well you won't see them until May. It is sad.

The beginning of the end.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Saving Box Elder Bugs

My dear sweet daughter got off the bus this afternoon. When she walked to the front door she said "Look Mommy".
Out of the little mesh pocket of her backpack she pulled out a crawling box elder bug. "Where did that come from?" I asked.

"We found it this morning in the school. Everyone was bothering it and I was afraid someone would step on it. So I put it in my backpack."

"So it's been in your back pack all day?" I asked.

"Yes, I saved it" she answered. "Can I keep it?"

uhhhhh NO. Let him be free. Free as a bird.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Most Embarrassing Potty Story EVER

The most embarrassing Potty - not Party Story

Okay so I have finally gotten the courage to tell my 2nd most embarrassing moment. It is only 2nd because well truthfully I am the only one who saw it. So this is a big step to tell you something that no one ever has to know! Just me. The thing is, this is just too funny to not tell.

This did not happen recently. In fact I refuse to tell you when or where. So once upon a vague time in an undisclosed location, If I was working or volunteering I will never tell!! I had helped set up for a special event. The event had not started yet so I took a break. a long break!

I went to the potty with my phone. I did my potty business then decided to sit there and play text twist on my phone. Currently I am on level 150 of text twist. Pretty impressive. However, at this point my game was still in the infantile stages. So I sat enthralled with my new game. When suddenly...........big dramatic scary music......

The Lights Went Out

The lights were on a motion detector. I must have been motionless for too long only my thumbs and mind moving. It was pitch black, like can't see your hand in front of your face dark.

Well as you can guess this is a pretty precarious situation. Because if someone comes in the bathroom and finds me sitting in here in the pitch dark, well....what would you think if you found someone sitting in the dark in a motion detector lighted bathroom! Well I would think several things and NONE of them Good!!

Now the graphic part : I had already done a general cleaning for the reason I was in there in the first place. you know #2. But I was still planning an additional courtesy wipe. Now my phone is my only source of light.

So well first I just start waving my arms frantically hoping to set the motion detector off and get the lights back on. Apparently I am too low in the stall cause it ain't working! So I stand on numb legs ( unbeknownst to me, if you sit on a toilet for too long your legs get numb and tingly) , pants still down and start waving again. Still no go, high stall doors.

I am starting to freak now, claustrophobia setting in, fear of getting caught, caught playing a game mind you!! Sweat beads are forming on my forehead.

Okay so I think use my phone light to finish the wipe. Then get outta here. I go to flip my phone on again for the light and drop it!!!!!! gasp. No not in the toilet, but on the ground, the dirty bathroom floor in the pitch black where I cannot see it! I flounder about still sitting on the toilet but now with my unclothed butt in the air feeling the dirty gross bathroom floor for my phone.

Ahh found it. Now my whole body is sweaty. I use toilet paper and the phone light by dangling the phone over the toilet bowl to make sure my @$& (oops) is clean. Okay all done. I got my pants up, stood up, opened the door.

Then....halleluja...halleluja.....The lights came back on.

I took two steps forward towards the sinks where I was planning to scrub my toilet floor hands like a surgeon, when someone walked in the bathroom. A stranger. I did the unthinkable then in my nervousness to cover up the last 5 minutes, I spoke to that person. Just a quick "hello". See it's a rule at least in the ladies room, don't acknowledge others in the bathroom. She looked at me with glaring confusion.

Gees, that lady looked at me like I was nuts. hmmmm Couldn't help but laugh and think what she would have thought if she made it in there 1 minute sooner.

That is the first and last time I will ever dawdle in a public restroom. Or any restroom for that matter.

Nuff Said,

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A Controlled Landing

Earlier today I got a call from Pama's (My grandmother) assisted living. They were informing me that she fell. But they also informed me it was a "controlled landing". She was not hurt at all. She is acting like her same old lively self today. All is well.

Because of that (no harm done) I allowed myself to really delve into the exact saying the nurse used when talking to me. "Controlled Landing". I don't completely understand why but I find this extremely amusing.

First thing coming to mind is an aircraft. A controlled landing. Always want that!!

Then I started thinking about when I biffed it on our outside stoop. (love the word stoop) It would have been nice to have a controlled landing then instead of all the bruises.

How about when life trips us up. I want a controlled landing then too. Yes! From now on I only want nice smooth controlled landings.

Wouldn't that be nice!?

Wishing you many controlled landings!

Internet Woes

So this is the first time today I have been able to get on the internet.

I spent hours on the phone with my internet provider last week. Finally I was told that we had a modem problem and needed a new one. So they sent a new one. Jeff installed it this weekend. has been working just fine until today.

Now when ever this happens prior to getting the modem and now after, our telephone line gets all static. When I use the phone the internet comes back up for about ten minutes. Then craps back out. Then the phone gets static again.

They tell me the problem is not the line. Uh Yeah.
I'll try to post something interesting later today.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Weekend


What a strange and at times wonderful weekend.

Started with the Friday sunset to Saturday sunset fast for Yom Kippur. It was strange because it was unlike our normal tradition. Normally we would go to my in-laws house. Which we didn't. By the way my mother in law is doing much better. Out of the hospital on Friday morning. Still we chose not to meet with family for this Jewish holiday because Savanah has a cold. We couldn't take the chance of getting Grammy sick. Normally we would also break the fast with family.

So this holiday was very different. Jeff is the only one in our immediate family that fasts. I always feel guilty eating or drinking in front of him. All in all it went fine just very very different.

Friday night was strange in that out of the blue Billy's new girlfriend broke up with him. He was a little shocked and dazed. Earlier that day she brought me pink roses, the first time I have met her. According to Billy she wanted me to like her. Well I thought it was kinda strange and sucking up to me. Odd. It became odd-er when four hours later after the football game she broke up with him. I thought about dumping the flowers on her front doorstep but I don't know where she lives and Billy wouldn't tell me. ;) Sometimes I can truly say I don't understand teenagers. Billy and I sat on the couch for a long time talking about it all. He is okay...a little hurt but okay.

Luckily the weekend ended with beauty and peace. A family day at Sever's Maze was exactly what my family needed. We had so much fun. That place is magical.

Last night was fantastic! With Savanah and Billy finishing up their homework without complaint. Both doing a great job then off to bed early!

A great nights sleep. And that is where I am at right now. Starting out Monday morning a little confused by the weekend but I got a smile on my face.

All is well, and I am thankful.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Autumn Days

I love fall. The feeling in the air. The crisp joyous weather. The smells of apple cider. aahh nothing quite like it.

Sever's Corn Maze This is one of our Fall cannot miss activities. One of our traditions. We have been going for 9 years. If you live in this area you gotta go! It's more than a maze it's a feeling. Definitely worth the drive. A glorious day. Check it out on line.

Going to enjoy this day with my family!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Happy Saturday

Have a happy day.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Confused and Baffled

Okay so I went to the ACTT meeting last night. This is the parent support group for the Elk River High School Drama Club.

Of course the school district has no money to support the Drama club. They have sufficient funds to support the hazing varsity football team but not enough to support the Drama Club.

As evidence by this. The drama club has usually put on a dramatic play in the fall. A musical in the spring. And one-acts in between. This gives all different types of actors a chance to participate. Some great actors are not great singers. and vice verse.

So this year the School District has mandated that the plays this year will be, TWO Musicals, one in the fall and one in the spring! Now that is not supporting students with different skills. Their reasoning for this, musicals generally get higher attendance.

The real catch 22 is this, The Drama club is in danger of being cut as a program offered at school because of low attendance. But the school and school district will not spend any money promoting or advertising the plays! Budget cuts and such. Well you won't get good attendance if you don't get the word out! You get my meaning? Also because of church and state separation are NOT allowed to hand out flyers in the school to students announcing the play or drama club! Oh Great!!

So I start brainstorming with this group of parents. Could we get donations of time or money from local businesses? put signs around town, walk door to door around neighborhoods, contact local senior citizen activity directors to make an outing for their residents to come see the play? Great ideas started flowing from everyone. Awesome! So the president of this club looks me in the eye in front of everyone and says. "This is all great. Now will you coordinate all of this?"

I said, "Huh? What? UUHHMMM......Okay? I guess."

I just don't know how this happened. I asked a question and suddenly I am charged with running the promotion of the next play.

Which By the Way is

Irving Berlin's
White Christmas
Show runs:
Thursday December 2nd 7:00 pm
Friday December 3rd 7:00 pm
Saturday December 4th 7:00 pm

With a matinee performance
Sunday December 5th 2:00 pm

How am I doing so far?

Okay so lets get busy and show this school district what we are made of and that these kids deserve this program! Not everyone has to be a sports star to be important!!

Now after I publish this post and have vented my frustrations out, I will put my lousy attitude away and get busy.

Ready, Set........Action

Thursday, September 16, 2010

JOYTOBE is what

My son recently asked me what is Joytobe, my alias, my AKA.

It started as Joy to Believe. Joy being a play on my real name.
Now you may think "Joy to Believe" is a religious meaning. It is and it isn't.

BELIEVE to me influences attitude. Believe in God. Believe in yourself. Believe in the good of others. Believe in magic. Believe in miracles.

Keep your heart open to the possibilities.
Believe in all the possibilities.
More importantly believe in the impossible.
I have seen the impossible become possible.

Now "Joy to believe" was shortened to "Joy to be". In this form it reminds me to "Just Be". Be involved, be engaged, be in the moment, be kind hearted, Be myself, be joyful.

When I am feeling down and out, these both remind me of who I really am and who I want to be.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Random and A Request

Good Morning,

First and foremost I have a prayer request. My mother in law is in the hospital. Her intestinal infection is back and she is on iv antibiotics. Her chemo has been a rocky road filled with uncertainty. Unfortunately this also delays her chemo thus dragging this out longer than expected. A prayer request for physical healing and peace.

Also a prayer request for Kate Mcrae. Help her Mommy and Daddy find peace in this difficult time. And pray for the healing of Kate. You can look up her caring bridge at

Now the random part.

Uugghh I got a jury summons yesterday! Yay! You know there is a part of me that feels proud that our country offers trial by jury and that is a basic American right. And that I have the opportunity and responsibility to participate in our democracy. The other part of me just thinks, What a pain in the ass!!!!

I'll choose to enter this endeavor focusing on the first opinion!

Next I am truly enjoying the school year so far. Getting lots done that was neglected during the summer hiatus. I have been decorating for fall. I love the look my kids get at seeing the decorations. It makes the house feel special. I like that they will carry that memory into adulthood. That makes it all worth it.

My book is coming along. On Chapter 12 of the basic outline, with 16,000 words. Almost done, then I need to go back and rework it. I have the basic story and emotion of it captured now I need to add some details. Then a rewrite for editing. I guess most first time novels have 50,000 words so apparently I am going to have to get "wordy". Just kidding.

The process has been surprisingly exhausting. Sometimes I actually cry while I am writing or laugh or get excited. I get so lost in it. I lose track of time as if I were reading a novel. Pouring my heart and soul into this so maybe it will be good enough to get published. And even if it is not i will be able to say, "Hey, I wrote a novel!" It's on my list of "25 things I want to do before I die". FYI-I am not dying anytime soon but it will be nice to cross another one off of the list.

Okay time to get the day going here.

Enjoy your day!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

16 wth?

In less than one month my baby bootie boy will be 16! Where has the time gone? I know all parents ask that question, it becomes redundant....but really......

Where has the time gone?

The hardest part of all this?, well besides all of it? Letting go. Sending him out in the world without my supervision. Questioning if we did a good enough job of teaching him right and wrong. Hoping he will make good decisions most of the time. Did we scare him sufficiently to always wear his seat belt, stay away from drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't drink and drive. All the things that bring us parents sleepless nights. But I still know he will make mistakes and I'm on my knees praying the mistakes he makes won't be life altering! In a split second a life can be changed forever.

Reminds me of when I started letting Billy ride his bike over to a friend's house around the corner on another street. I could no longer see him reach his destination. I made him call me when he got there for several weeks. Then finally I let that go. Shortly after that some kids I didn't know came to my door one afternoon informing me a child was hurt at the end of the street. Was it my son?

Well It was him. He had fallen and laid in the middle of the street. When we got there he was just standing up his bike. Then he cried. He had road rash all over but thankfully he was wearing his helmet which was very scratched up and dented. That is when I decided he would live in a bubble, wrapped in Charmin toilet tissue for the rest of his life! No more chances. We would be taking no more chances like that.

Luckily for Billy, Jeff talked me down from my neurosis. But it was a lesson. A painful one. You have to let them go and they are going to fall down and make mistakes. They will have to get up on their own sometimes. Just give them all the guidance they will let you give. Make sure your expectations are clear. Let them know you will always be there but they have to go around the corner where you can't see them!

Then pray a lot!

Monday, September 13, 2010

My Day

Today was MY DAY!! wooohoooo

I went out shopping. I hate to shop usually but this was a treat. I had gift certificates. The best way to shop. Guilt free!

Went to Yankee Candle -- yum
Johanne's crafts - fun
The Woods - Oh yeah

It was a good time. Now I am feeling a little guilty cause I did nothing at home. NOT, Nothing, Notta! You know...... house work. cleaning, organizing, folding laundry. oh well

There's always tomorrow.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

A Very Cool Kid

Recently someone who hasn't seen Billy in a long time asked me, "When did Billy become so dark?" Huh I thought then asked, "What do you mean? His hair?" The person answered with concern, "Yes, well and everything."

Yes Billy is checking out different styles, this is true. He is a good little mix of EMO, punk, rocker. But he so much more than that. I have told him: Unfortunately people judge a book by it's cover. Perception is reality. First impressions are hard to change. All these little catch phrases. They are true as shown by that person's questions.

BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH. My Billy is still my Billy. He is EMO - Which stands for emotional. Emo however usually stands for negative emotions, depression, sadness, rebellion, indifferent, disinterested (some of them so extreme they become cutters). Billy is emo but his emotion is happy, energetic, fun loving, engaged. Proof by the Mascot he will be tonight at the football game.

He also tried out for the fall play yesterday. Phil the director apparently liked his audition. The musical which will be showing in Dec, is White Christmas. Fun I hope he gets the part that Danny Kaye played. We'll see.

Billy is so much more than any label.
He recently had to write up a wanted poster for himself so his English teacher could get to know all the students. Here is what he wrote. Gotta love Billy's wit and creativity.

If this criminal is seen in the area, please report him to the authorities. Armed with his hair straightener and hairbrush, this felon is known as Billiards (aka Bill ). Usually found along with The Bandego Warrior (Jonah) and The Tater Gator (Cameron). Billiards is wanted for the unforgivable sin of obsessive hair flipping. Found around football games dressed as a big elk giving fans high fives, on the school drama stage making a fool of himself, or sometimes found at the vault, listening to music. Last arrested October 12,1994. With his unique style of extremely skinny jeans, studded belts that hang low, and dark colored shirts, he is easy to pick out in a crowd. Thank you for your time and be safe tonight. He could be flipping his hair somewhere near you.

Is that awesome or what? So in conclusion, Nope I am not concerned about Billy's dark attire. Billy is Billy. I couldn't love him more or be more proud of him.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Bak bak bak beeekaaahhhhk What is that? That is the sound of a chicken as best I can figure it would be spelled. You know the sound a chicken makes? Why you ask?

I have recently discovered I am a chicken. A big chicken scaredy cat. meow.

We have recently decided I should probably get a part time job. You see, last year we paid a lot of expenses for my grandmother. I mean a lot, big $$$$$$. In order to do this we took some money - a lot- out of my qualified savings account. Now we planned for the extra taxes and penalties with our budgeting. What we failed to plan for is the fact that this extra income through us into a new tax bracket. Dramatically changing our taxes!!!! So although we have survived fine with one income as the year comes to an end, and we continue to pay some of my grandmother's expenses, well....let's just say we could really use a little extra money.

It doesn't help that my ex-husband does not pay his half of my son's expenses (driver ed fees, drama fees, lunch money) and pays NO CHILD SUPPORT even though he is supposed to. He has not paid child support in 7 YEARS. I have yelled, begged, pleaded and threatened him for 7 Years. And to be honest up until now it just seemed like too much of a pain in the ass to go after him with an attorney. That will change soon too!

Now that Savanah is in 3rd grade well it seems time for me to work. I would still like to be home when the kids get home.

Okay so on to what makes me a chicken %&*$. I am scared to get a job. I haven't worked in 7 years. I have started to update my resume. OH Yuck. I tried to find my old resume. HA HA I found it. It is on an old HARD computer disk. ha can you believe that? I don't have a computer with that old kind of disc drive. So I started from scratch. YUCK

Then thinking of the interview process just makes my heart pound with anxiety. Even if I could get an interview in these times. Jobs are hard to come by.

What I find amusing about all of this.....I used to be so confident in the workplace. I use to interview so well. Actually their is only one job I have ever interviewed for that I didn't get. I was eighteen and the job was way over my head. But now my armpits are damp just thinking about it. Sorry to be gross!

I have done all this before. I just forgot how to do it.

Any suggestions?

Looking for courage,

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Aahhhh Quiet - Bad Mommy

Okay so does it make me a bad mother that I have been counting down the days til school starts? since June 20th? Just kidding but seriously.....

I love the beginning of summer. I struggle when Billy leaves but then find my rhythm. My rhythm for summer is LAZY. The Lazy days of summer. sleeping late. not even attempting to get anything done because with my child and all the neighborhood kids in and out of my house, "what is the point?" I mean mud, dirt, water, grass, wet dog hair, rocks. This all covers my floor all summer long. I have found that the moment I sweep and mop my floors ten kids come running in with muddy feet followed by the muddy dog. Then I get FURIOUS!!! The solution? don't sweep and mop the floors.

During summer my house is complete chaos. The doorbell rings no less that 15 times a day. The door swings open 50 times a day. It is left open 25 of those times. I can hardly keep up with the fly swatter. The nasty little buggers touching everything. I meant the flies not the kids. Well...maybe both.

I love kids but to be honest by the end of summer we are all ready for school to start. Now the kids will NEVER admit that. But my kids were filled with energy last night and up early this morning picking out what clothes to wear. They were excited for school to start.

We are both looking forward to routine. I may mop my floors today then again maybe not. But I do have a goal, I will destroy every last fly in this house today. I have to do it when Savanah is gone because she wants to save them. uh

I will write today on my blog and in my book.

And most of all I will relish the quiet. I will soak it in!

Enjoy your day.