Sunday, November 28, 2010
Elk River High School
December 2, 3 and 4 at 7:00 pm
December 5th at 2:00 pm
in the Zabee Theater
My Billy's name was in the local paper. This is a huge week. I am nervous and excited.
Here we go.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Well not today. The day started poorly with angry faces, irritated people and unpleasant words. I would like to rewind about 2 hours and start over. Truth be told I would like to rewind about 2 months and somehow change the past, remove a chance meeting. start all over.
I need a break from the issues plaguing me and my family. Again I need to take the moments necessary to regroup and breath. Then I need to count my blessings.
No one said raising kids would be easy but I am just not ready for teenage drama and angst. The pain and uncertainty of young love. Add a dose of dishonesty and manipulation to that recipe and you have disaster. You have a quickly spreading plague in my family.
It reminds me of one close call.
A cold dark winter night I put Billy on the snow bank while I took groceries out of the trunk. "Stay there", I said. Suddenly and for no apparent reason two year old Billy ran out into the street as I dropped the groceries and reached for him wildly. I lunged forward as I heard the oncoming car's wheels screeching as the driver tried to stop the car.
I was moving fast but felt as if I were underwater.
I grabbed him sliding on my knees as the headlights came closer stopping just a mere foot away from us as I attempted to shield his body with my own.
The hysterical tears that came after when the tragedy was averted. The woman driving the car screaming at me for not watching my child better. You see I just turned away for a moment.
I carried Billy to the snowbank where I just laid in the snow holding him, dress clothes and all. For several moments we were both just quietly reflecting. No questions, no scolding. Just tears and a thankful Mom repeating over and over. Thank you God. Thank you God.
This is how I feel now. This time the symbolic car is moving faster and it is not stopping. And I will do anything to avert the tragedy.
Now a mom repeating over and over. Help me God. Help me God.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A week of teenage heartache and uncertainty. A week of pressures, discipline and modification.
My sweet doggy had some sort of episode the day after her birthday. I think it may have had to do with her inner ear. Something called vestibular Syndrome. But suddenly Cabby could not stand up. Her head and body were moving like a drunkard. It was scary but only lasted about 2 minutes. Then she acted as playful as ever, as if nothing had happened.
Culminating today in my first endoscopy ever. Wasn't so bad. But holy moly am I tired. Those meds really knock you out for the whole day.
I am really looking forward to this weekend and next week. A week for reflection, rejuvenation, family and rediscovering your blessings.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Often this may come across as snooty or stuck up because I will be very quiet. Mostly it is I am afraid of saying something... well....something SO "Joyce".
This really is only with strangers or people that I don't know well. Once you really know me it is unlikely you can get me to shut up.
Now when I have a purpose, a reason to be somewhere, an agenda so to speak, I am not shy. Oddly enough if I am talking about something I know about or something pertaining to the maintenance of my family or my home, I am not shy at all. When I was working I was not shy. In fact I was a leader. I always rocked the job interviews. And furthermore in these situations I don't say anything stupid. Well maybe once in a while.
The real problem arises when I am put in a situation that I need to make small talk. It's not a problem if it is a stranger I may never meet again. The problem is when.... well you guessed it, when I feel I need to impress the stranger, like a parent at the school, or a friend of a friend, or a new neighbor, etc. Then finally when I get the courage to let something slip out I sound stupid! OR worse yet I let my not-so-understood sense of humor out of the closet before said stranger is anywhere near understanding the real me. ( I really liked that last sentence. kinda funky)
Unfortunately this is who I am.
Take me or leave me.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Seriously do you remember that little tune?
Well this is me, THE MOM.
Nag, nag, nag, nag
nag, nag, nag, nag
Okay big word of warning this is a me ranting and raving with humor! Enter at your own risk.
There are days when I feel like the ONLY thing out of my mouth is telling people what to do. Reminding them, nagging them, pushing them.
It starts from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep and it is
I keep telling them. THIS IS NOT FUN. You think you got it bad with me nagging you. Try being me. I have a lot more important things to say than keeping track of your stuff. Man if I didn't have to use all my energy nagging I could solve world peace!
Hold on I gotta go push one out the door or the bus will be missed!
I'm back. We'll see if he makes it.
So ya. Like five minutes ago. I said "Alright you got five minutes. Better pack up your backpack." As he is feverishly trying to finish last nights homework before 2nd period, because he accidentally fell asleep after I told him last night "Now don't fall asleep. Why don't you stay down here with me while you read so I can keep you awake." Because he is reading a book that he really doesn't like. His answer, "I won't fall asleep." Trying to give the kid some freedom I say okay. Go to check on him an hour later. Oh yeah he is asleep!
Oh so back to five minutes ago. Actually now with two minutes to go I see him heading into the bathroom. I look over, his back pack is not ready. He is in the bathroom straightening his hair!!!!! "Where is your jacket? Hey, you gotta go."
He doesn't know where his jacket is. So I run around the house looking for it. He packs up his backpack. Then as he is heading out the door he exclaims with a gasp, "Can you go get my ipod downstairs?" I say, "Nope, there is not time." "I have to go today without my music?" he says with a look of terror on his face. With a hug I say "Yep, goodbye, I love you and have a good day!"
AND NOW I am feeling GUILTY about him not having his ipod!!! Now that would be stupid except, (yeah there is always an exception) music is everything to this kid, it helps him relieve stress. To be honest, he has been having a very rough time. He has had to deal with some serious adult type issues the last few weeks. And I hope she (oops I meant it) goes ways.
So now I am thinking is there a way I could get up to the school to give him his I-pod? Can you believe that?
And now I have exactly 20 minutes before I have to go wrangle kid number two out of bed. Which is not an easy feat! This #2 child is sooooo belligerent when she first wakes up!
Here is my new mantra:
"What about me? It isn't fair. I've had enough now I want my share. Can't you see? I wanna live but you just take more than you give." Thank you Garry Frost and Frances Swan from the band Moving Pictures for writing the lyrics to this song.
I gotta go rest.
BTW ; He made it to the bus.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Tickets may be purchased at the school office, from me or at Coborn's on Tuesday November 23rd from 6:00 - 8:00 pm where the four leading characters will be performing a few songs from the show.
Yay! I am excited and nervous for the show and Billy - I mean General Waverly!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
But we kept date night. We had very much fun. too much fun. Since we stayed in a hotel down town we partook in mucho alcoholic beverages. We occasionally need to just let loose, be irresponsible in a responsible way. no driving, kids are safe with grandparents.
I completely enjoy being with my hubby. We laugh, we talk, we eat, we drink, we dance, we laugh some more. We especially enjoy watching those who have way overindulged in the fun libations. I know it's mean but we laugh as we watch them fall over, stumble and sway.
Towards the end of the night we ourselves stumble and sway our way back to the hotel. Then we laugh at each other. It's all in good fun.
But oh my do I feel like crap today!!! In fact I gotta go lie down.
Friday, November 12, 2010
I love the first snowfall! It's purty. But I am not thrilled with the timing. I got places to go tomorrow, people to see, things to do.
Had a fantastic date night planned with my honey. I know, I know......this is Minnesota, snow doesn't stop us. Doesn't deter our plans. We trudge right on through with living. Right?
Well yes and no. After the 3rd snowfall of winter, everyone gets into their winter groove. They first remember how to drive in the white stuff. The plows get the hang of clearing the roads and pretty much life goes on as normal. But the first measurable snowfall is HUGE in the HASSLE factor.
If possible most people hibernate for the first winter storm! Me, I hibernate all winter! Pack on some extra pounds and sleep lots! Just kidding but that is what I would like to do. Well okay not kidding about the pounds but you know here in Siberia we need the extra fat to survive the brutal cold winter.
Well here it comes..... maybe..... if the forecasters are right. Which we all know is a 50/50 chance. Let's just say I'm not cancelling my plans just yet. But I will probably forego my stiletto suede boots tomorrow night. Bummer, I suffer through one incredible painful foot night once a year just so I can look HOT! Not temperature HOT but COOL hot. Smokin Hot!
I think the changing barometric pressure from the approaching Low weather system is blowing some fuses in my brain. Or maybe it's the loaded beverage I am drinking. But heck my mind is wandering and jumping all over the place. It's like a wobbly roller coaster.
Well here is my toast to winter.
Here's to hoping we survive it! See you next spring....in late May. The groundhog don't mean shit here! (sorry for the curse word!)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To my father. Today I took out the flag that was draped over your coffin 10 years ago on November 30th, 2000. You served your country in Japan during the occupation after World War II. You served your country in both the Army and the Air force.
I held the shells that were fired at the cemetery.
I read the card placed with the shells.
"This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation, as a token of our appreciation for the honorable and faithful service rendered by your loved one."
Thank you Daddy and I miss you.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
So another note comes home from the school. There is lice in the classroom. Immediately after I hear the word lice I start itching all over. My head and my body.
I become neurotic. My hair will be pulled back in a pony tail for about a month now. I will think of lice intermittently through the day. We got a notice from the school about a month ago and it has taken me this long...... up until just yesterday to be able to touch my child's hair without thinking about lice.
And now we start all over again, with the crazy thoughts, like shaving my head bald!!!
I gotta go. I gotta stop typing and thinking....LICE
Drinking lots of wine tonight!
Okay so the funniest thing here. My dog rarely buzzes. I mean I have witnessed the dog buzz maybe 10 times in her ten years. Almost Happy Birthday Cabby, November 16th, you'll be double digits. 10 years old. Anyways. so she rarely buzzes except for this week. Cabby is on an antibiotic for a tick bite. Well apparently, as the vet warned me, this medicine can upset her tummy a little. My dog has buzzed 4 times already this morning. And three times last night. Almost the total of her lifetime buzzes.
The thing about Cabby. When she buzzes, it scares the daylights out of her, especially if it makes a noise, which it has been.
So just now I am sitting at my computer, and I hear ppfppfppspphuh, from her bootie in the kitchen. Then I hear her nails skidding and running across the wood kitchen floor. I see her booking around the corner trying to get away from her own butt!
Then she runs toward me so I can protect her from again HER OWN BUTT. Then she lays down next to my chair by my feet. Suddenly the noise comes again, she jumps up as if she has a rocket attached to her butt (maybe she does). She runs back toward the kitchen then back around the corner to me again. Lays back down but is whimpering a little.
Now I feel bad for the dog. I mean I really love my dog. But you gotta admit, it is damn funny too. A dog that is afraid of its own buzz. What is the name of that phobia?
Hold on, I gotta look that up.
Okay I'm back. Not as easy as I thought to find the answer to that question. So some just call it the Fear of Flatulence. or Flatuphobia. However, I cannot find a scientific use of Flatuphobia but hey it works for me.
So my poor flatuphobia dog is next to me, looking at me as if begging me to stop this unnatural phenomenon.
I feel bad for her in between my bouts of laughter.
PS update, took dog outside. she had a mega poop. maybe she'll feel better now.
Monday, November 8, 2010
ahhhh Do you smell that? I love that smell. That smell conjures up many emotions and memories.
It reminds me of the childhood excitement of Christmas morning before any gifts were opened. When you stared wide eyed at a pile of unopened gifts that held all the promise in the world.
Now it reminds me of Christmas Eve, the excitement of wrapping the last few gifts for my family.
I think of how both of my children have been so excited on Christmas morning to see Jeff and I open their gifts to us before they touched any of the presents for them. The gifts they made and wrapped with an entire role of scotch tape. The pure joy on their face to give to someone else.
It makes me think of my children's craft projects. It makes me think of Savanah's imagination, watching her tape together all of her little cars and my plastic butter dish to make a train. I think of broken things that my children tried to repair with scotch tape so I would not find out. ;)
It makes me think of wrapping gifts for people I love. It is the best feeling when you find a great gift (thoughtful not necessarily expensive) for someone you care about. That gift that you can't wait to see them open.
I think of when we told my in-laws we were expecting a baby (Savanah). We wrapped up baby booties. The slight confusion about the gift followed by overwhelming tears at the understanding of becoming grandparents. A moment I will always remember.
Then the Grateful Dead Tape for Jeff. I scoured the internet for a dead head. Found the right person who had a bootlegged tape of a Grateful Dead concert performed the very day Jeff was born!
I always aim for that Home Run gift. Sometimes I reach my goal, sometimes I don't. But I always try.
It's the same way with writing a post. Some that I finish really give me a sense of pride. They have a strong meaning or I feel like I truly expressed myself. Or it was just well written. Some of my posts could really use a healthy wrapping of scotch tape to fix them. But again I try.mm-mm scotch tape. Yankee candle should make a candle that smells like scotch tape!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I forget that when I blog my random thoughts I generally feel better and more encouraged to keep on keeping on!
So what is making me so busy? Here is my sob story. I am quite certain this compares quite nicely to everyone's sob story. Mine is certainly no better or more important other than it is mine. Now I do feel that I should put in a caveat here, that I should just shut up and count my blessings!! No one in my family is dangerously ill. No one has lost their job. I am not living in a war torn country. We have plenty to eat. We have roof over our heads. No natural disasters have impacted us. We have no tragedy. Well unless you count teenage dating! After all that I feel stupid for complaining but these are my measly little woes.
1. Medical stuff. Scheduling Dr appointments, check ups, endoscopy, dentist appointment, GYN appointments, flu shots, vet appointments. And so on!
2. Drama stuff. Just picking Billy up every day from rehearsal can put a little kink in my day. Add to that the volunteering and promotional work for the drama club. Well it all equates to a lot of time!
3. Getting the house ready for Thanksgiving company. Slow and steady wins the race. If I could just keep my family from entering a room once I clean it! For three weeks. Is that not reasonable?
4. Starting Christmas and Hanukkah (it's early this year!) shopping. Again slow and steady wins the race and ensures a thoughtful gift!
5. Setting up piano lessons, gymnastic lessons, etc.
6. Keeping Billy out of trouble has become a full time job! Not really but kind of. This requires eyes like a hawk and a memory like an elephant.
Recently I was told that I appear to not be paying attention when people tell me things. Mostly because I ask a lot of clarifying questions and I don't remember stuff.
Well I figured out the reason why. I am so busy keeping track of responsibilities (mine and others) that I have no room left in my brain for new information. I am full to capacity. In fact one more bit of important information and I may blow.
So it is not my fault. For instance the other day I was talking on my phone in the car ....I got out of my car and looked for my phone for a good five minutes. I muttered out loud, "I can't find my dang phone." The kind person I was talking to on my phone started laughing! Hmmm What's so funny? I thought seriously irritated. It did eventually dawn on me, I was still talking on my phone!! Yes the same very phone I was looking for. Nice huh?
So I apologize in advance for my lack of attention and ditziness!
But....It's not my fault.