Painfully Shy and Incredibly Awkward

Something that a lot of people don't realize about me. I can be painfully shy and incredibly awkward.

Often this may come across as snooty or stuck up because I will be very quiet. Mostly it is I am afraid of saying something... well....something SO "Joyce".

This really is only with strangers or people that I don't know well. Once you really know me it is unlikely you can get me to shut up.

Now when I have a purpose, a reason to be somewhere, an agenda so to speak, I am not shy. Oddly enough if I am talking about something I know about or something pertaining to the maintenance of my family or my home, I am not shy at all. When I was working I was not shy. In fact I was a leader. I always rocked the job interviews. And furthermore in these situations I don't say anything stupid. Well maybe once in a while.

The real problem arises when I am put in a situation that I need to make small talk. It's not a problem if it is a stranger I may never meet again. The problem is when.... well you guessed it, when I feel I need to impress the stranger, like a parent at the school, or a friend of a friend, or a new neighbor, etc. Then finally when I get the courage to let something slip out I sound stupid! OR worse yet I let my not-so-understood sense of humor out of the closet before said stranger is anywhere near understanding the real me. ( I really liked that last sentence. kinda funky)

Unfortunately this is who I am.
Take me or leave me.
Joytobe