My Dirty Little Secret

I have a dirty little secret. A skeleton in my closet.

But it is not in my closet. It's in my bathroom. And it's not a skeleton. It's a ladder.

Uh oh the secrets out. I have not yet finished painting my upstairs bathroom. Remember this post so very long ago. http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/05/tip-for-tuesday-painting.html

Yes this was posted on May 25th. I have had a ladder in my bathroom since May 25th! Can you believe that? Must be some sort of record. This is very unlike me. Usually when I start a painting project I can't seem to stop until the room is completely done. I have injured myself on more than one occasion pulling muscles and such because I refuse to put the paint brush down. Well apparently I learned my lesson or became incredibly lazy.

Actually all of the above and more. Life got in the way of my paint job! Children, vacations, summer breezes and my beloved ill Mother-in-law interrupted my paint job.

Then my husband made some sort of comment about the darn ladder being in the bathroom for over a month. Troubles brewing........Whoa there buddy, hold up, now don't get yourself in trouble here. You better think that statement through. You might want to verbalize a retraction! Maybe even a written retraction. I have painted 8 rooms in this house so far. I painted all the rooms in our old house, except Savanah's because I was pregnant. How many have you painted? huh? 1 That is it. JUST 1! Savanah's room

Uh Can you tell I get super defensive and sensitive when I feel guilty about something? Yeah using guilt trips doesn't work on me cause I just blow up in your face!

As if the bathroom weren't already slapping me in the face every time I walk in there!

hrumpf, ppsshh........it happens!
Joytobe

On a Serious Note - A Prayer Request

I started following a family's journey through childhood brain cancer in July of 2009. Their struggle was brought to my attention by another blogger. I have prayed often for little Kate and her parents in the darkest of times.

Today June 29th, 2010 Kate McRae will be having an MRI after a year of rigorous treatment. One year ago today Kate was diagnosed with this awful disease. She has been through so much. This MRI today will show the results of treatment.

Please join me in prayer for Kate and her family.
Joytobe

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

Reliving My Childhood Nightmare

Yesterday I relived my childhood nightmare.



You know how you kind of relive your dreams through your children? Well yesterday I relived my childhood nightmare through my child. It was freakin awful.



I went for my daily walk while Savanah rode her bike along side me. The plan was to go for the walk near the horses, down the path, around the neighborhood and finish at the park where I would let her play. It was a beautiful day, sunny with a nice breeze.



We were walking down the path with Savanah about 5 feet ahead of me. Her bike started to lean to one side. I could see she was going to fall but it looked like it would be a manageable fall with no injury. The path is on a bit of a hill so I could tell she might slide down in the vegetation a little.



She did slide and came to a comfortable stop. I was right beside her at this point. Her bike and she had landed in a little sand mound, a nice soft landing. So I thought. Well this sand mound was in actuality a red ant colony, a nest, if you will.



Within a half a second several hundred ants were crawling all over Savanah. These ants were pissed that their home was just destroyed.



She screamed a blood curdling scream. but was motionless with shock. I grabbed both her arms and yanked her out of the ant hill. Grabbed my water bottle and started pouring it all over her legs and body. The cold ice water startled her out of her shock and she began to move and scream some more. So I am chasing her with the water bottle trying to knock the ants off of her. After a few moments we got all the ants off.

We both took a deep breath and began to survey the damage. She had no bites thankfully, a small insignificant scratch on the palm of her hand. No other bumps and bruises.

Then we looked at her bike still submerged in the ant pile. It had thousands of ants on it. Then she started to cry.


I was still a little panicked and was struggling with what to do about her bike. I needed a hose or water to wash the ants away. So I called Jeff and asked him to bring a bucket of water.


The bike was not a loss. I pulled the bike out of the ant pile and started shaking and kicking at it. The ants started to fall off. An occasional ant made its way on to my body throughout this process. Of course I would freak out and run around like a lunatic trying to get it off.

By the time Jeff got there I was pushing the bike along headed toward home. Jeff rinsed the bike off and took the bike home in his truck. Savanah I continued to walk towards the park.


She told me she would hate ants for the rest of her life. I have hated ants my entire life. As I had a similar run in with an ant pile that has been burned into my brain for life. Ask my sister Vivian about it!

On the way home Savanah was all talk about the incident, she needed to vent. I was more than happy to listen. At first she was very hostile towards the ants. Saying things like, "I will step on every ant I ever see." "Why does God make things that sting?". "I mean why does there have to be bees?"

The sweet, nature-loving, empathetic child that I have suddenly changed her tune a bit. She asked, "What do you think it is like to be an ant?" I said, "Well probably a little scary, these big things are always trying to stomp on you."

Then to my amazement she started to feel bad about wrecking the ants home! She said, "It probably took those ants years to make that nest and I just ruined it. All that hard work!"

Well Savanah you are a better person than me. I could easily spray raid on every ant hill I see every day for the rest of my days.

Apparently she will not be scarred for life. Must be my great parenting! hee hee
Joytobe

No Post Sundays

Have a great day! Posting hiatus is over tomorrow. Went on a little vacation. Look for a new post Monday sometime around noon-ish.

When I Grow Up I Wanna Be......

When I was a kid I had a life plan. Oh I knew what I would be doing tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. (George Bailey says something like this in "It's a Wonderful Life." My favorite movie of all time, tied with Apollo 13.)

I used to tell everyone my plan. My parents would chuckle and roll their eyes.

This was my plan. This was my dream.

I would be an Olympic Gymnast. After winning my first gold medal..................................
I would be an Olympic Gold Medal Ice Skater, when I became to old to skate...................
I would become a Grammy award winning singer, then.........................................................
I would become an Oscar award winning actress. when I became old like 40....................................
I would become a lost civilization finding Archaeologist, then........................................................
I would die.

I had a plan. With this plan I promised my father with all of my fame and fortune I would buy him his Jaguar (his favorite car.) Around my 25th birthday I gave my father his Jaguar, a lovely little red luxury matchbox car. He enjoyed the irony of it.

Well, I.....I am, in an odd sort of way, living my dream. The plan has changed some.

Gymnast? Well I can still stand on my hands and do a cartwheel, even a round off.

Ice Skater? I enjoy figure skating even now. I can still do a small whoop-dee-doo on ice.

Singer? I love to sing and do it often even at the embarrassment of my family.

Actress? Well heck, I act all the time: I act like I care, I act as if I like people that I don't, I act like the things my teenage son says don't freak me out. I am an accomplished actor.

Archaeologist? Shoot, not a day goes by that I am not studying footprints in my garden, comparing shoe marks and sizes trying to solve the puzzle of who keeps tromping through my garden. It's definitely a Sketcher and I think size 1.

I think it is interesting that I didn't envision myself as a wife or mother. Which oddly enough have been my most important and fulfilling roles I have ever had.

Not what I envisioned as a child but I couldn't be happier with this life of mine.

Why, yes, I am living the dream.
Joytobe

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my sweet, kind, intelligent, Godly, beautiful niece Kendall.

I am so proud of the woman you have become.

Love,
Joyce

Arrived Safely

My baby bootie boy arrived safely in Connecticut. What movie is "baby bootie boy" from?

I am thankful but sad. Not feeling like writing today. I may take a short hiatus for the next few days. Just blah with not much to say.

One good thing can be said for this blah-ness. When I don't know what to do with myself, I clean. My house should be looking pretty good in a couple of days.

Actually I do my very best most productive cleaning when I am pissed. Alas I am not pissed right now, just blue.

Joytobe

No Post Sundays

Enjoy your day. Say a prayer for baby boy's safe travels today.

Saturdays

I have found no body really reads my blog on weekends. I understand it too. I am not on the computer much on weekends. I spend most of my time with my family.

Today is Saturday June 19th, 2010. I am feeling very blah and bummed. Tomorrow Billy leaves to go to Connecticut. It happens every summer. And I always feel the same way. Things are not quite right when he is gone. The stars aren't aligned properly. I feel dread for the week prior. The day he flies I am filled with trepidation. Once he lands I am thrilled that he is there safe and sound. I say my thankful prayer to God for getting my 6 foot baby there in one piece. The week after I am filled with blah and indecision. When I am really down I can't seem to make a decision to save my life. Every question anyone asks me is answered with I don't know or it doesn't matter to me. After about two weeks I find my rhythm. I still enjoy the summer but it isn't as magical without him.

So excuse my demeanor for the next two weeks. I also get a bit of an attitude.

You've been warned!
Joytobe

The Duck Lady Epic

This picture I took at the St. Louis Zoo reminds me of a story. (Isn't she a beauty?) All of the following is true as I remember it.

I am the Duck Lady. I am not ashamed of my affections and need to help the occasional stranded duck. Here is one of my stories that has illuminated my heroism. This is long!!!! But funny!

On a dark rainy morning of May 2003 I found myself in a situation which forced me to make a life changing decision. To intervene or not. To move or make a stand. To continue on my predetermined path or stray into uncharted territory. The time had come, "What would it be?"

Okay Way too dramatic. Redo, starting over. Ready, set, ACTION

On a rainy morning of May 2003 I watched a duck horror evolve right before my very eyes. I was waiting at a stop light at a very busy intersection on my way to Savanah's daycare. (Morning traffic was at its heaviest) Yes, Savanah went to daycare the first 9 months of her life as I was still working.

As I sat there I couldn't believe my eyes. Crossing in the crosswalk was a mother duck and many (maybe 12) baby ducks (very small only a few days old). Cars were screeching to halt. I was going to hop out of the car and direct traffic around her but it looked promising that she was going to make it across without my help. I was feeling relieved as the tragedy seem to be averted.

Then she (the mama duck) crosses over the sewer grate. GASP, GASP again, then I hear myself hollering "OH NO!!!" I watched in horror as 11 of the 12 ducks one by one plopped through the grate into the sewer!!!! I was shocked! "Holy Crap" What should I do?

The Mama had yet to realize that all of the baby ducks weren't following her. I am sure she was shocked when she turned to look and had gone from a mother of 12 to a mother of 1. When she noticed she turned around and started back where she came from quacking, looking for her babies.

My mind and heart were racing as my light turned green. What do I do? Savanah's daycare was right around the corner. I drove there quickly. I ran in the daycare like a lunatic muttering nonsense about baby ducks and a sewer. "Gotta go save, ducks fell, Mama duck, cars, ahhhhh" I ran out of the daycare promising an explanation later.

I made it back to the intersection still unsure of what I was going to do. The mama duck was causing a commotion trying to get to her babies. She was walking back and forth in the crosswalk with her 1 remaining baby.

I looked around, there was no one to help me. I scanned the area, the closest business was McDonald's of all places. Again I appeared to be a crazy lady as I ran in hollering . "Do you know the number for the police department?" "Do you have a phonebook?" "There are ducks in the sewer!" The 18, 19 and 20 year old kids working there just stared at me. The non-English speaking employees just said "huh?" It was apparent I wasn't getting anywhere with these people. I just ran out of McDonald's screaming, "Call 911, call 911"

I am not sure I can even explain the craziness of my actions. Not sure words will make do to paint this insane picture. But I am trying. With this next paragraph keep in mind this is during morning rush hour traffic. All the motorist are watching me. No one understands what I am doing. Anyone who saw the ducks fall is long gone. I imagine all the McDonald's employees have their faces glued to the window watching the crazy lady. I am certain no one actually called 911.

So I ran back to the intersection. I herded the Mama duck and 1 baby to the side of the road. I crossed the crosswalk to the center median. I got on my knees and looked in the grate with my butt up in the air! I couldn't see much but I could hear them quacking down the drain. I turned to look just in time to see the Mama heading into the crosswalk towards me as a car swerved around her. I herded her back to the side of the road.

"What the hell was I going to do??!!" I was motionless for a moment as I struggled with this dilemma. If I leave to go get help the Mama and baby will go into the road and get hit. But I am not helping the baby ducks just standing here.

Then I saw a police officer in a car. YAY!!!!!, I started jumping up and down, waving my arms, screaming, clapping my hands, doing anything and everything I could think of to get his attention. He had his blinker on and was about to turn away from me. Picture here a person stranded on a deserted island when a plane flies overhead. yeah that was me.

He turned and my heart sank to my shoes. I watched him go but then he turned around. And yes he came to my rescue.

This policeman was a young jock type, cool looking sun glasses, buff and tan. You know the type, power hungry. I got a little nervous as I noticed he looked somewhat excited as if he might get a foot chase with this crazy crack filled lady disrupting morning traffic. I pictured him throwing me to the ground and cuffing me as he jogged towards me with his hands making a calm down motion.

He asked me with a raised eyebrow, "What is the problem?" Of course I took a deep breath and started ranting and raving about the ducks. The Mama duck who had been hiding behind a tree, saved me, as if on cue, she ran back into the street quacking ferociously, obviously upset. The policeman looked disappointed shaking his head as he herded her back to the side of the road. All of this over a duck. There would be no excitement in Maple Grove today. I mentioned this duck was going to cause a car accident and that mobilized him. He went to the median, leaned over and he heard the baby ducks too. Thank God, I wasn't crazy.

He looked puzzled then hesitantly called for back up. He told me I could go now. I didn't want to leave but noticed I was already going to be an hour late for work. He saw me struggling with leaving. He promised me they would take care of it. He redeemed himself in my eyes as he looked at the quacking angry duck he said, "It's okay Mama we'll get your babies."

Ahhh I left feeling sure all was going to be okay. However, at work all I could think about was these ducks and what was the outcome. So at about 3:00 p.m. I called the Maple Grove Police department. With a very calm voice I explained in short what had happened. With humor I told the dispatcher, "I need to know what happened cause all I could think of all day was these damn ducks." Thankfully she laughed understanding my humor. She checked the log and said, well it says here, "Police arrived on the scene at 7:55 am. The scene was not cleared until 10:30 am." It says "resolved". She told me I think they got them out.

I breathed a sigh of relief. That evening I passed the scene of the crime! You could tell two of the sewer drains had been lifted up.

And although I was a little embarrassed by my actions, I enjoyed the humor of it all.

I slept well that night.

Joytobe

Now Hold On, Wait Just a Second Here

At the top header and description of my blog it says, "My husband loves to cook which is great, as I have little, if any, patience. "Continue to stir while simmering" just doesn't work for me. I say bring that pot to a full rolling boil."

Well this post is about my insane lack of patience for anything even slightly related to cooking. I got NONE.

My husband often laughs at me. He knows me well. If I put something, anything in the microwave I always stop it before the beep. My husband cracks up when he goes to use the microwave and it says, " 0:01" Like I couldn't just wait that one second before I grabbed my heated up coffee. It is true I could not wait.

When cooking up a frozen pizza, if it says cook 14 - 16 minutes, I will always choose 14 minutes! And even then I will probably take the pizza out after 13 minutes and 50 seconds.

Maybe this is why I like baking cookie cutter cookies. I can't sit and watch them bake. I am needing and rolling and cutting the shapes quickly just to get the next batch ready to throw in the oven. There is no time to be impatient. The cookies only take 7-8 minutes to bake. For sure this translates to me as "7 minutes".

Now I can chop up veggies with gusto. In fact I enjoy this activity but again it keeps me moving. It's the waiting I can't stand.

You would think I am super efficient keeping my home in order. Well not exactly, I do spend quite a bit of time just spinning my wheels. I am quite certain I have ADD. But hey that is another post all together.

Aren't you glad you don't live with me?
Joytobe

Playing With My Blog

Playing With My Blog

Doesn't that sound naughty?

For the next few days I am going to be "messing around with my blog". huh, still sounds naughty.

You may notice the design and layout of my blog will be changing. The content will not be changing. Still nonsense. I'm just trying to make it look pretty and make it more aesthetically pleasing to the eye. I may be adding a few gadgets as well. Wish me luck.

Stay with me and please be patient as I change it up.
Joytobe

Granny Ethel

My honey had a Granny Ethel (God rest her soul).

She left Jeff with this treasure, "If there is enough blue in the sky for a Dutchman's britches, it's going to be a nice day."

What does this mean? Are Dutchman's britches large? or small? I love this saying but struggle with the meaning.

Ode to the internet. I found this bit of information.
Admiral William Henry Smyth's A Sailor's Wordbook from 1867 reads as follows: "Dutchman's breeches, the patch of blue sky often seen when a gale is breaking, is said to be, however small, 'enough to make a pair of breeches for a Dutchman'."

Also this: the Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang says "Dutchman's breeches" is nautical slang meaning 'a patch of blue sky visible through clouds'.

Still doesn't answer my question "Are a Dutchman's britches large or small?"

Joytobe

Think Soft......Think Hard

A cool concept thought up by my 7 year old daughter.

We just came back from Wisconsin Dells for a little family vacation. We had great fun. There is so much to do.

There is an awesome deer park. You walk around with food and the deer just come right up to you and eat. Some of them come up just to be petted. It was really neat. They are so beautiful and fragile looking. Big beautiful eyes and long eye lashes. Such kind faces. I am not sure how people can shoot them.

There is also a mining company where you get a bucket of dirt and sand. You put the contents in a strainer and get to keep whatever you find. We came home with some amethyst, garnet, quartz, sapphire and emerald. This sounds like an expensive treasure but I am quite certain these stones aren't truly jewelry making quality. However it is still a treasure to us!

This mining store also sold small pieces of dinosaur bone fossils. Savanah was very intrigued by this.

Later at the hotel we were talking and she said the following priceless gems.

"When you think about the deer park soft, it seems like no big deal. But when you think about it hard. Wow deer were just walking right up to me and letting me pet them."

Later she said,

"When you think about the dinosaur bones soft it doesn't seem special, but if you think about it hard, I'm holding a dinosaur bone!"

I like this concept! Let's look at everything hard! How wonderful to fully take in the magic, the true meaning and importance of things.

Take a hard look at the significance.
Joytobe

17 to 18

My daughter has always had the same favorite number. 17. I am not sure how she picked it. But it has remained constant.



Until yesterday. Savanah brought home a math workbook. It is more for fun and number sense. The 1st question asked, "What is your favorite number? Why?"



Her answer was this. 18 "because you can order things on TV."



This was too funny to me. As Jeff said, can't you just hear the announcer guy, "You must be 18 years or older to order."



Does my child watch too much T.V.?



My children and I have a number / color association. It is called color synesthesia. It is defined: an individual's perception of numbers and/or letters is associated with the experience of colors. I have had this all of my life. It is not like a disorder or anything bad. Many people have this. Basically when I think of a number I strongly picture a color. Even for instance if I see the number 5 in my mind it is green.



so my color palate is this. I put in bold the strongest associations.

1 is white
2 is light blue
3 is yellow
4 is blue
5 is green
6 is red
7 is orange
8 is purple
9 is brown
10 is black



Savanah's color palate is this;
1 is no color
2 is ?
3 is no color
4 is green
5 is orange
6 is red
7 is yellow
8 is green
9 is purple
10 is no color

Billy's color palate is this:
0 is white
1 is red
2 is yellow
3 is green
4 is red
5 is purple
6 is green
7 is purple
8 is orange
9 is no color
10 is white/red

Wierd isn't it?
Joytobe

No Post Sundays

Have a fantastic day!

The Fulgurite. The what?

For Mother's Day I got a fulgurite. It kind of sounds like a naughty word, doesn't it? Say it out loud with me, fulgurite. Again..... fulgurite. Now that you have said it do you wanna know what it means?

Well it's not a dirty word. But I like saying it anyways. You know how certain words you just like saying?

Fulgurites are natural hollow glass tubes formed in sand or soil by lightening strikes. They are formed when lightning with a temperature of at least 1,800 °C (3,270 °F) instantaneously melts silica on a conductive surface and fuses grains together; the fulgurite tube is the cooled product.

Isn't that the coolest thing ever? My rock hound daughter gave it to me as a present. You are basically holding in your hand the path a bolt of lightening took as it hit the earth. In fact the lightening made this glass tube.

It isn't pretty and to some it doesn't look like much.

But I think it's priceless.

Joytobe

Savanah - The Frog Veterinarian

My dear Savanah found a frog with a little cut on it. Apparently Jeff ran over it with the lawn mower or whacked it with the weed whacker. (Isn't weed whacker a funny word?) Luckily it was just a flesh wound.

Savanah got wet paper towels and cleaned off the blood until it was no longer bleeding. She cared for this frog with all of her 7 year old skill. The frog has recovered nicely and will shortly be released back into the wild.

She was very proud of herself for this humane accomplishment. She was telling me all about it. I told her, " You are a veterinarian." She looked at me quizzically.

Then she shrugged her shoulders kind of shook her head no. She looked at me and said, "But I like to eat meat."

It took me a moment but I realized she had confused the words veterinarian with vegetarian.

Oh was that amusing. After I finished explaining she still asked, "Do veterinarians eat meat?" Hmmm good question, If you care for animals, granted domesticated animals, do you still eat animals..meat?

I suddenly felt a tongue twister coming on. Something like
If the veterinarian was not a vegetarian
but the vegetarian was a veterinarian,
Were either of them vegans?

Oh Savanah you crack me up. I crack myself up too.
Joytobe

Clarification - Worry Versus Fear

Recently I posted information about a few conversations my son and I have had about the book "The Lord of the Flies".

You can read all the gory details here. http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/06/thinking-for-himself.html

But the gist of the disagreement was my son believes "everything we do as humans is motivated by fear." He gave me many examples of why he thinks this way. I disagree.

My husband read the blog post. Soon he and I were discussing this matter. (I love this kind of philosophical speak. It gets my mind pumped up!) It was my husband who found the answer I needed so desperately. I couldn't find the right words to defend and reasonable explain my feelings. I couldn't explain why I disagreed so vehemently. Believe it or not my opinionated mouth was speechless. My honey found my reasoning for me.

Now I am not saying Billy is wrong because he should have his own opinion. I am just saying I am right. ;)

So to look into this matter we need to define a couple of things.

Fear (noun): an emotion of alarm and agitation caused by the expectation or realization of danger. Synonyms: alarm, dread, fright, horror, panic, terror, trepidation

Fear (verb): to be afraid of

Afraid (adjective): Filled with terror or fear

Worry (verb): to feel uneasy, to turn over in the mind, to cause to feel anxious, distressed or troubled, anxious concern. Synonyms: concern, distress, pother, stew.

Now here is where it gets tricky. Many people use the word afraid when they really mean worry. But they are NOT synonymous. They truly mean different things. I think in general when you are afraid you are probably worried too. But You can be worried without being afraid. Does that make any sense? I read that paragraph over like 50 times. It makes sense to me but barely!

So I worry about his grades. I am not afraid or fearful about his grades. Well maybe a little afraid.

My actions are not motivated by fear (well sometimes). Often they are motivated by worry or concern. I am not a slave to my fears. Well maybe my fear of flying. That is about it..... oh yeah and my fear of the dentist chair! The sound of the dentist drill can send me sprinting away.

This is how you know you should be married. My honey knows me so well he can find my reason when I've lost it! I love my husband so because ... he could finish my sentences for me but he doesn't.

Hope that clears that all up.
Joytobe

My Birthday....His Birthday Suit

So last week was my birthday, June 2nd. I turned 39. gasp. Now I am 39 and holding. I will not get older than 39. I still love my birthday. I used to feel indifferent about my birthday. Until I met my husband. My honey has a way about him. He finds great joy in showing the people he loves how special they are to him. On my birthday he always makes me feel so wonderful. So although I have stopped aging I will continue to celebrate my birthday. Hey everyone deserves to be princess for the day!

So this past Wednesday a blogging story was revealed right before my very eyes. ;)

To begin with my honey slept in that day (he always takes the day off on my birthday). He had been at the hospital late the night before with his mom. So I was happy to let him sleep in. I got the kids off to school. Then Billy texted me, he needed something he forgot at home. It needed to be turned in that day. So I kissed sleeping Honey and high tailed it up to the school with the forgotten item. On my way home I stopped at McDonald's for yummy greasy breakfast. hmmm yum bacon egg and cheese biscuit.

When I walked in the door I saw my honey was up and sitting on the couch. I smiled and excitedly showed him the grease stained McDonald's bag, "I got breakfast! no dieting today!" He just looked at me with this enormous smile on his face. His hands were behind his head as he leaned back supporting his head. This smile was unusual. Not his normal smile. It was too animated. Too big. Like he had something up his sleeve! Like the joker. Very unusual. puzzling. I stared at him as I set my things down and slipped off my shoes. "Is everything okay?" I asked.

He just continued to smile not saying a word. As my eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room I noticed he had his shirt off. My honey has the sexiest chest. Not meaning to get graphic here but it is truth. I took a step forward, then another. My eyes widened as I realized my honey was NAKED!!!! With my birthday card covering up his privates. I gasped in shock and appreciation. And then I fell to the floor laughing. Then he started laughing too. It was awesome. This is not really characteristic for my honey. In fact he was trying to see the reaction from me. And he did. When I pulled myself together I hopped right over that couch and well.......

The funniest part of it is what he told me later. He watched the road waiting to see my car. Then threw his clothes off and assumed the position. But he said he panicked just before I opened the door. He thought, what if Billy got sick at school and I was bringing him home. What if Billy was walking in the door first. His heart raced as he heard the door knob begin to turn. His smile was so large because he was relieved to see my face.

Thank goodness, can you imagine if it had been Billy? That would have been a hefty therapy bill!

I just love him and his ability to make me smile! And he still surprises me.

Happy Birthday to me!
Joytobe

The Magic Mirror - Pama and Pampa

Well this is a story that needs to be told. I know my Pama would blush and giggle. I really don't think she would mind. Well she would act like she minded because she is a proper lady but I think she finds this so amusing herself. It needs to be preserved for history's sake. So without further ado....here is the story of how my grandparents met and fell in love.

My grandmother was raised in an orphanage with her sister after her parents died of tuberculosis. If you want to read about that here is the post.
http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-pama.html

When she was eighteen she and her sister lived together sharing an apartment. Pama worked in a hospital. She would see Lloyd (Pampa) on her way to work. He was smitten the first time he saw her. Pampa was a mailman, sorry Pampa.... I mean a letter carrier. He hated to be called a mailman. He delivered mail to her house. He said he hoped everyday that she would receive a package so he could go to her door and speak to her.

One particular day he got his wish. There was a package! He rang the doorbell several times before she appeared. He was persistent. He was not leaving the package on the doorstep. Apparently Pama had just gotten out of the shower. She grabbed a towel and held it in front of her body as she answered the door. Now when I think back at this I am a little surprised by her actions especially thinking of how proper everyone was back then. I suppose since she was raised in an orphanage and had no official chaperon or parents that affected her behavior.

Pampa was happy to see her and possibly even happier to see the towel draped across her body. He left the package with her. The next day he walked her to work. Shortly after her began full on courting her. They were engaged and later married.

Years after they were married Pampa told Pama the day he delivered that package he fell in love with her. It was sweet. A few years after that he told her, when she had stood in the doorway that day with that towel draped over the front of her body, she had been standing in front of a mirror. He had seen the entire back side of her body. And that was the day he knew he was going to marry her.

Oh man how I wish I had that mirror. Who knows where it went but that would have been priceless. That mirror ensured my existence.

Love that story. Love my Pama and (God rest his soul) Pampa,
Joytobe

No Post Sundays

Enjoy your day!
Joytobe

Surgery Update

It's been an up and down kind of week. A little roller coaster-ish. My mother-in-law's surgery went well. Then she had some complications with low blood pressure and low hemoglobin leading the doctors to believe she had some internal bleeding. After several tests it was determined she had a little bleeding that luckily resolved itself without further surgery being needed. A blood transfusion really turned things around.

Now we have found out 2 of the 11 lymph nodes taken out were malignant. Not the news we wanted to hear. But thankfully not as bad as it sounds. We will get the whole picture when we meet with the oncologist. The good news is from her scans and x-rays it appears the cancer has not spread to other organs or surrounding tissue. Her spirits are high and optimistic. She is handling all of this like a strong lady!

And just as of ten seconds ago I spoke to her. SHE IS HOME! Yeah discharged this morning.

Thank you God,
Joyce

Thinking For Himself

My son is so insightful. We have wonderful conversations about books he is reading in English. I usually ask him about the book and ask him to remind me the story line as I read these books one hundred years ago. Okay truth be told 20 or so years ago. The "or so" is very important here. Lots of days gone by. Can you believe it? Oh yeah we're talking about him here not me and my old age.

I love hearing his point of view. We often disagree and I love hearing him defend his opinion. I love watching him listen intently to my opinion. He is amazing to me. These are the most wonderful discussions. We have taught him to respectfully disagree with an adult. It's one of those parenting moments where you say, "I did good here." I see him becoming a man. A man I would want to call my friend.

However, with this latest book I am having a dilemma. His latest read was "Lord of the Flies" by William Golding. This book is very dark. I actually pulled out my "Lord of the Flies" essay dated 1/28/88. I kept it! Well I got an A and the teacher wrote, "You know how to achieve transitions and to insert minor details in subordinate clauses." "You are really developing! Keep up the good work!" Yes my teacher used exclamation points!! And she was a hard ass for sure. She certainly knew when to use exclamation points where I use them all the time! See! I digress again turning this writing to be about me. oooppss

Anyways this book is about the effects of human nature when society's conditioning is no longer present with its laws and boundaries. Basically in the book most characters will revert back to being barbarous savages. My son's essay was to answer the following question, "Do you believe that Golding is telling us that we are all doomed, or does he believe there is hope for humans?

Billy believes we are all doomed. He really feels people are inherently evil. That we keep this evil at bay everyday with our choices. This is very contradictory to what I believe, that everyone has good and bad within them. But mostly good. We fight off the bad intentions by dealing with the emotions that cause them, jealousy, anger, sadness, hatred, annoyance. I'm all about the choices we make also.

Here is where we really differ. Billy feels very strongly that "everything we do as humans is motivated by fear." Basically the only thing that causes us to take action is fear. At first I was repelled by this notion of his. Ewe yuck, no that is wrong, we care that is why we take action. We feel.

Then he asked me to give him examples of times I have taken action. So I gave the example of seeing a car accident and stopping to see if anyone needed help or was hurt. He turned this around and said, "You're afraid of what people will think of you if you don't stop." No he was wrong and I told him so. Most of the time I could give a crap what people think, especially strangers. Then he said, "Okay, you are afraid someone is hurt. You are afraid someone could die if you don't take action." Well this stopped me in my tracks. Well....yes... kind of....I was afraid or worried someone might be hurt. Just like the other day I was afraid the horse would get hurt tangled up in the fence.

I gave other examples, "Billy, I push you hard to bring up your grades cause I care. " He said, "No, because you are afraid I am going to fail." I inhaled deeply, I am afraid Billy may have a point here. Is every action we take a double-edged sword? We went over several examples and he could always turn it around with the word "afraid".

What does this mean? Could we both be right? I care about the person in the accident and that makes me afraid they might be hurt? Maybe that's the answer, " I care for others and that makes me afraid."

What the hell? This makes me a little sad, my son thinks this way. This makes me proud he is so insightful and thinks for himself. But I thought I was teaching him to be motivated by the goodness is his soul. Now he tells me we are all motivated by fear and fear alone. What the hell? I like my optimistic happy way that all humans are good!

I am confused. No more talking Billy! You are not allowed to discuss anything, anymore. Yes this scares me......I am afraid. Afraid I may be wrong.

Scratching my head.
Joytobe

Horse Lady

My husband used to affectionately call me the "Duck Lady". I'll explain this in a future post as it is quite a funny story, actually a couple of funny stories. Mostly including me making a fool of myself all for the love of nature.


Anyways I felt myself called to duty again today. Often when I take my daily walk I stop at the ranch near my house. I just watch the horses (3 of them) for a few minutes catch the morning breeze and head on my way. They are beautiful horses. Today the light brown one kept looking back at me rocking back and forth. It was an odd behavior as they usually ignore me. I took this photo.


As I watched squinting into the sun I realized it looked like his leg was stuck.







Well you know me I high tailed it over down the long gravel driveway to get a better look. Sure enough poor thing was stuck. I walked the rest of the long drive way towards the house. The other two horses came running up to the fence obviously happy and maybe amused to see me. They were beautiful and graceful. You could tell they were well cared for and adored people.


As I approached the home I heard a rather large dog barking in harmony with some high pitched yippy barking from a few other dogs. As I got to the front door this huge lab ran to the storm door barking quite ferociously. I was a little frightened but was happy for the storm door. Until the dog jumped on the door and it flew open. I like dogs. I don't think I have ever been afraid of a dog before today. I just about crapped my pants as it came charging to me. I think I heard myself in a high pitched voice say something along the lines of "good doggy", hoping to sooth this savage beast and convince him to not eat me. When the dog got to me the owner was walking out the door. She reprimanded the dog, "Duffy" the dog immediately started wagging it's tail and sniffing me.


I pulled myself together just enough to let her know about her horse. She was very appreciative and said, "I don't know why she does that. Come on Duffy we need to go get Destiny out of the fence again." As I walked back down the driveway I saw the owner cruising over to the fence in a golf cart.


Catastrophe averted. Duffy and Destiny, Duffy and Destiny I thought over and over on the rest of my walk.




Once I got home I did change my shorts. Although I didn't crap my pants I think I might have peed a little!




Affectionately Yours,
The Horse Lady

update

The surgery started late and ended at about 10:30 last night. It went really well. She was stable throughout. They got everything out that they needed to. Now it is just recovery and waiting for pathology reports on lymph nodes.

More info to follow

Joyce

Surgery Update

My mother-in-law is having surgery today to have a malignant tumor removed from her intestine. This tumor was found through a routine colonoscopy. The prognosis is very good. Although it is still very scary.

We won't have the true picture until her lymph nodes are looked at by a pathologist.

We could use some prayers for her and our family.

Thank you,
Joyce