The Duck Lady Epic

This picture I took at the St. Louis Zoo reminds me of a story. (Isn't she a beauty?) All of the following is true as I remember it.

I am the Duck Lady. I am not ashamed of my affections and need to help the occasional stranded duck. Here is one of my stories that has illuminated my heroism. This is long!!!! But funny!

On a dark rainy morning of May 2003 I found myself in a situation which forced me to make a life changing decision. To intervene or not. To move or make a stand. To continue on my predetermined path or stray into uncharted territory. The time had come, "What would it be?"

Okay Way too dramatic. Redo, starting over. Ready, set, ACTION

On a rainy morning of May 2003 I watched a duck horror evolve right before my very eyes. I was waiting at a stop light at a very busy intersection on my way to Savanah's daycare. (Morning traffic was at its heaviest) Yes, Savanah went to daycare the first 9 months of her life as I was still working.

As I sat there I couldn't believe my eyes. Crossing in the crosswalk was a mother duck and many (maybe 12) baby ducks (very small only a few days old). Cars were screeching to halt. I was going to hop out of the car and direct traffic around her but it looked promising that she was going to make it across without my help. I was feeling relieved as the tragedy seem to be averted.

Then she (the mama duck) crosses over the sewer grate. GASP, GASP again, then I hear myself hollering "OH NO!!!" I watched in horror as 11 of the 12 ducks one by one plopped through the grate into the sewer!!!! I was shocked! "Holy Crap" What should I do?

The Mama had yet to realize that all of the baby ducks weren't following her. I am sure she was shocked when she turned to look and had gone from a mother of 12 to a mother of 1. When she noticed she turned around and started back where she came from quacking, looking for her babies.

My mind and heart were racing as my light turned green. What do I do? Savanah's daycare was right around the corner. I drove there quickly. I ran in the daycare like a lunatic muttering nonsense about baby ducks and a sewer. "Gotta go save, ducks fell, Mama duck, cars, ahhhhh" I ran out of the daycare promising an explanation later.

I made it back to the intersection still unsure of what I was going to do. The mama duck was causing a commotion trying to get to her babies. She was walking back and forth in the crosswalk with her 1 remaining baby.

I looked around, there was no one to help me. I scanned the area, the closest business was McDonald's of all places. Again I appeared to be a crazy lady as I ran in hollering . "Do you know the number for the police department?" "Do you have a phonebook?" "There are ducks in the sewer!" The 18, 19 and 20 year old kids working there just stared at me. The non-English speaking employees just said "huh?" It was apparent I wasn't getting anywhere with these people. I just ran out of McDonald's screaming, "Call 911, call 911"

I am not sure I can even explain the craziness of my actions. Not sure words will make do to paint this insane picture. But I am trying. With this next paragraph keep in mind this is during morning rush hour traffic. All the motorist are watching me. No one understands what I am doing. Anyone who saw the ducks fall is long gone. I imagine all the McDonald's employees have their faces glued to the window watching the crazy lady. I am certain no one actually called 911.

So I ran back to the intersection. I herded the Mama duck and 1 baby to the side of the road. I crossed the crosswalk to the center median. I got on my knees and looked in the grate with my butt up in the air! I couldn't see much but I could hear them quacking down the drain. I turned to look just in time to see the Mama heading into the crosswalk towards me as a car swerved around her. I herded her back to the side of the road.

"What the hell was I going to do??!!" I was motionless for a moment as I struggled with this dilemma. If I leave to go get help the Mama and baby will go into the road and get hit. But I am not helping the baby ducks just standing here.

Then I saw a police officer in a car. YAY!!!!!, I started jumping up and down, waving my arms, screaming, clapping my hands, doing anything and everything I could think of to get his attention. He had his blinker on and was about to turn away from me. Picture here a person stranded on a deserted island when a plane flies overhead. yeah that was me.

He turned and my heart sank to my shoes. I watched him go but then he turned around. And yes he came to my rescue.

This policeman was a young jock type, cool looking sun glasses, buff and tan. You know the type, power hungry. I got a little nervous as I noticed he looked somewhat excited as if he might get a foot chase with this crazy crack filled lady disrupting morning traffic. I pictured him throwing me to the ground and cuffing me as he jogged towards me with his hands making a calm down motion.

He asked me with a raised eyebrow, "What is the problem?" Of course I took a deep breath and started ranting and raving about the ducks. The Mama duck who had been hiding behind a tree, saved me, as if on cue, she ran back into the street quacking ferociously, obviously upset. The policeman looked disappointed shaking his head as he herded her back to the side of the road. All of this over a duck. There would be no excitement in Maple Grove today. I mentioned this duck was going to cause a car accident and that mobilized him. He went to the median, leaned over and he heard the baby ducks too. Thank God, I wasn't crazy.

He looked puzzled then hesitantly called for back up. He told me I could go now. I didn't want to leave but noticed I was already going to be an hour late for work. He saw me struggling with leaving. He promised me they would take care of it. He redeemed himself in my eyes as he looked at the quacking angry duck he said, "It's okay Mama we'll get your babies."

Ahhh I left feeling sure all was going to be okay. However, at work all I could think about was these ducks and what was the outcome. So at about 3:00 p.m. I called the Maple Grove Police department. With a very calm voice I explained in short what had happened. With humor I told the dispatcher, "I need to know what happened cause all I could think of all day was these damn ducks." Thankfully she laughed understanding my humor. She checked the log and said, well it says here, "Police arrived on the scene at 7:55 am. The scene was not cleared until 10:30 am." It says "resolved". She told me I think they got them out.

I breathed a sigh of relief. That evening I passed the scene of the crime! You could tell two of the sewer drains had been lifted up.

And although I was a little embarrassed by my actions, I enjoyed the humor of it all.

I slept well that night.

Joytobe