Searching for Serentiy

I am asking God to help me grieve and replace my anger with peace.

I need to write my problem to release it.

My uncle, Gary did not take good care of my grandmother (his mother). Her house was damaged with a leaking roof and broken windows. Her clothes were falling apart. She had no food in her house. Her bank account had been depleted. She was being given unnecessary percocet to keep her in a confused state of mind. (my uncle would take half of the prescription for himself) This is how we found her in September 2006.

Since 2006 and being in our (her grandchildren) care she hadn't required narcotic pain killers once.

We fought a three year battle to get guardianship of her. We all sacrificed so much. Our savings were depleted and relationships were tested beyond limits by stress. We survived it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Pama flourished in our care. She truly enjoyed the last 5 years of her life. Surrounded by her daughter until 2009 and her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She loved where she lived. She was by far the happiest most grateful person I have ever known. She never complained.

She journeyed to heaven Monday morning peacefully while she slept.

While making funeral plans we were suddenly informed my uncle is taking possession of her body. She is being shipped to Texas to be buried there.

I am struggling with this on so many levels. First, How can I give her back to someone who abused her? I know this is just her physical body and her soul that I adored is already in heaven. But still it feels so wrong.

Also, I (my family as well) have taken care of her now for awhile and just as I did for my mom when she died, I feel this huge responsibility to see her safely to her final resting place. I feel I owe this to her, she deserved to be treated respectfully and I need to ensure that happens. I am letting her down by letting her go.

I cannot stop this from happening so I am trying to deal with my anguish. It is hard enough to just say goodbye and give her to God.

So God I am asking you take great care of this special lady. She holds my heart, please fill it with serenity.
Joyce