Happiness #3 - Worry and Stress

#3 on my list of ingredients.

Dealing with worry and stress effectively.

Everyone has stress, no one is immune. People deal with stress and worry all the time, whether or not they realize it. A lot of times people self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. We know these are unhealthy and can damage every aspect of your life. This will sabotage your happiness and your relationships. If you or a loved one is trapped in this hell please seek professional help.

There are a lot of other unhealthy self-medicating ways individuals deal with stress. Eating, hoarding, shopping, extreme exercising. I do some of these myself ......a little. That would be the key. I eat for necessity, pleasure, boredom or escape. I drink alcohol occasionally to take the edge off. I shop and will occasionally partake in a senseless impulse purchase. I guess I don't hoard. Moderation is the key here. Exercise is a great stress reliever for me. Going for a walk. But there are people who exercise all day becoming addicted.

Speaking of addiction I am letting the cat out of the bag. For those who don't know this, I smoke. :( I smoke as a way to relieve stress and I smoke because I am addicted to smoking. Smoking is like my quiet time. It's my 10 minute break from the world. I don't smoke in my house or my car. So I smoke on the porch or the deck. Can you imagine me all huddled up against the Minnesota winter wind standing outside like a damn fool to smoke a cigarette? ridiculous. Do I know how bad it is for me? I do and even more so with my particular family history of heart disease and bladder cancer. So You are hearing it now!!!! I am choosing a date to quit. I will announce that day on that day. I am working up a plan. And a new way to experience that 10 minute break.

Stress and worry will steal from your happiness. And can take years from your life.

I feel the key here is to find ways of dealing with it effectively in a healthy manner instead of trying to escape from it.

Some methods I use:
Make a worry journal
Instead of making mental notes. I make written notes. Staple some pieces of paper together. Each piece of paper gets two worries. One at the top of the page and one about half way down. Then look at each worry separately asking questions and writing down the answers. Is there anything I can do about this? What needs to be done? the steps? Dates to complete steps.

Then I use this piece of paper to make notes. Say one of the steps is to "call Mary to confirm cancellation." I call and leave a message for Mary. I will put that note there, "Called Mary Left message on 2-25-2011. Follow up on 2-27-2011 if I haven't heard back."

So often I go through life thinking about what needs to be done. But this really frees up my mind, so I can enjoy moments with my family or just enjoy quiet time with a quiet brain. No nagging question or looming doom! Because I know I am doing what I can and controlling the situation as best I know how. Everything has been captured and is "in process".
1 Minute Meditation
Taking five really deep breaths. On the intake I breath in through my nose and I think the words "clear the mechanism" ( I saw this in the movie For the Love of the Game). I exhale the breath through my mouth making a sighing noise as I let the air out. As you exhale try to relax your entire body especially your shoulders. Just let them droop. Repeat this five times.

Then I stretch my whole body. Doesn't stretching feel magnificent? If my mind starts to wonder back to what I was worrying (obsessing) about. I repeat over and over, "Here and now". When I am done I get up and do something physical or busy work. Fold laundry, clean a room, empty the dishwasher. Just something that makes me move and makes me feel accomplishment. These steps really do help me.

Exercise
I go for a 30 minute walk. or I put on loud bouncy music. and jump. Just jump for one song.

Stop Procrastinating

I have learned over time that often I create a crisis by procrastinating. If I had taken care of a problem it would not have escalated to the boiling point. If I extinguish a small flame it does not turn into a raging inferno. I have had to examine why I procrastinate. If something is really irritating me I find I put it off. Also if I am doubting my ability to do something I procrastinate.

Here is a current example. 6 months ago I got a crack in my windshield. It was a little irritating to me because it was a nuisance. I dealt with it. Called my insurance, called the window place, got it fixed. It was an inconvenience. One month later a freaking rock flies at my windshield and cracked the dang thing again. I have been so irritated that I have somewhat subconsciously refused to start the process and call the insurance. So I have been driving around with a cracked windshield for 5 months. I keep thinking dang I need to get that fixed.

Now if I really think hard about this I realize a few things. 1. It is dangerous to drive with a cracked windshield. 2. I worry about it. It yells at me every time I get in the car. 3. I'm breaking the law. And the most important. 4. If I had gotten the windshield fixed immediately, I would not have wasted all of this time worrying and feeling angry.

Guess what I am doing tomorrow. Yeah it's time.

Write
Often I write about my worries or frustrations here or in a separate journal. It helps me think through things.

Talk
And sometimes I just need to talk about it with someone I trust. I mostly talk to my husband, my sister or a good friend. Getting the words out there helps. Sometimes they give me great advice or a shoulder to cry on. It reminds me I am not alone.

So how do you deal with stress? How could you do it more effectively?
Joytobe