Up the Ante

Upping the ante

Upping the Anxiety. I mean Upping the Anxiety Medication!

This is the time of year all of the excitement happens. Even the weather is cooperating with this change and excitement. Temperature right now - a crisp and windy 59 degrees with a bright blue sky.

Fall --mmmm I love it.

But suddenly the lazy days of summer are numbered. Nothing to do has been left behind.

So what all happens in fall? You ask. Where do I begin!?

First and foremost I go from being the mother of one 7 year old back to being the mother of two. One of which is a teenager! Need I say more. Well over the summer I certainly didn't stop being Billy's mother. However with his trip to CT I was not responsible for him on a daily bases.

Next I will no longer be the mother of a 7 year old. She will be 8 on August 30th! Birthday party prep is in full swing.

Then let's not forget the fun and excitement of the state fair. Opening day is tomorrow and we will be there. We are state fair junkies. LOVE IT!

Oh then the dreaded and anticipated first day of school. Dreaded by the kids. Anticipated by the parents! Lots to do still for school supply prepping. Have to be prepared on the first day! Not to mention trying to get back into a regulatory bedtime schedule. uuuggghhhh

Decorating the house for fall! Beautiful but a lot of work.

Then we have the annual fall trip up to Lutsen. A much needed break from the first few weeks of school.

Next my honey and I will celebrate our 9 year anniversary. Can't believe it has been that long. I am still so in love!

Trips to Sever's Maze! Love it!

Our favorite Pumpkin Pickin Farm. Fabulous!!

Then Oh MY!! My sweet baby bootie boy turns 16. Oh where has the time gone?!

Then the hallowed Halloween! Costume prepping.

Just about the time for Thanksgiving I will start freaking out about Hanukkah and Christmas! Oh Joy!

I just counted and I have 19 exclamation points in this post! Oops 20 now.

And that is fall - an exclamation point. Does that explain it?! 21
Joytobe

Picked My Pepper

Long time no blog.

Well I've been feverishly writing my book. Chapter 8 Very Rough Draft Done, 12,000 words done. Too late to back out now. Gotta finish. It would be nice to make money writing which I have found is my passion.

But this is about my other passion. Gardening. This is also a new passion of mine. I set out this spring to grow something I could eat!! And I have succeeded!

This is a picture of my red pepper just moments actually seconds before I picked it. Then I ate it! It was yummy. I have also been eating my chives and using my lemon balm in my tea. I am feeling quite accomplished.

I am already planning next years garden with a dramatic increase of space. More planter boxes. Don't worry honey. It may be work to build the boxes but it means less grass to cut.

Enjoy your day!

Awesome

Is this awesome or what? I bought this expression from my friend Tracy through Uppercase Living. I painted the wall. Jeff and I put it on without causing any bodily harm!

I so dig it.

Joyce

Insane Beauty

Hey all, long time no blog-ing. Well I hope to become more regular when school starts. Regular in all meanings of the word. I still enjoy blogging but I am taking a swing at writing a book. Can't do both with kids home during summer. So sorry but for now blog posts will be random.

But I couldn't pass this one up. See these pretty plants below. I have planted them two years in a row right in this very spot. People always comment about how beautiful they are. And they are.
Several people have said they are so beautiful that they almost look fake. They are not.


In the past I have loved them. All of the neighborhood kids congregate on this sidewalk near my front door. These are perfect because although they are pretty red flowers they don't attract bees. Perfect. They have no smell. Here is a close up.

Aren't they incredible? So here is the insanity. Look closely at this picture. See the black spot in the middle? That is a fly...... which would be okay. Except at any given time during the day these plants are covered with them. An insane amount of flies. Like 15 per plant. A freakin nightmare for someone with pteronarcophobia. (a fear of flies) I may be developing this phobia. This is freaking me out. Since they are near my front door flies keep getting in my house.

This has never happened before. Why is it happening now? Can someone find the answer? Is there a floriculturist out there?

These plant have 24 hours then I am chopping them down.

All I can say is ewe.

Joytobe

Random Stuff

I'm feeling random.

Mother-in-law Update
A couple of updates. My mother-in-law has had some bumps in the road of chemotherapy. Some side effects. Recently her white blood count dropped which decreases your ability to fight infection. Shortly after that she got a high fever. Luckily an antibiotic has helped. Yay, no more fever. She is very fatigued still and really has no appetite. So I have a prayer request. To help her and her husband get through this one day at a time. To fill their hearts with comfort and peace.

Garage Sale
I have said it over and over. I will say it again. I am never, after this one, having a garage sale again. Oh yeah. I am having a garage sale Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I had one last year. The cool part was I have been pricing stuff since then. But I forget about lugging it all to the garage and setting it all up and then sitting outside for 3 whole days.

Last year I used the money to buy school clothes for the kids which was really nice. We will see. Money can be quite a motivator.

Writing

I have started writing a book. I have about three chapters roughly done. I know the characters. I kind of know the timeline. I'm struggling a little with the process. Write an outline, write chapters, just write it all and figure out the chapter breaks later and so on. But I do like it. I may post pieces of it just to get some feedback. We'll see.

While writing my blog posts may be a little sporadic. So please keep checking in. I'll try to post at least every other day.


Random Questions

I wrote this the other day. It's weird and interesting to me. I was sitting in the car contemplating life while waiting for Zoo camp to be over.

So many answers!
What's the question?
Fulfillment
Peace
Contentment
Purpose

The secret to happiness
Relationships
Connections to people
Living in the moment
Accepting imperfection

Maybe the secret is to;
Keep asking?
Keep searching?
Keep analyzing?

But is that too hard? Should happiness be easier?
The End


What does that mean?

Okay I gotta get busy.
Enjoy your day,
Joytobe

The Finished Bathroom

Painting my upstairs bathroom has been hell. But now it is done and I will NEVER EVER paint this room again.

I like it and think it looks pretty but not too girly. As Savanah says, "I'm not a girly girl."

Before or actually during

Remember this post about my husband complaining about the ladder in the bathroom. http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-dirty-little-secret.html

Well he is not complaining now. he loves the way it turned out. Definitely worth the wait.

After

Ahhh

Joytobe

The Dilemma of the Teal Bottles

I have a dilemma. I love these teal colored bottles. My hubby hates them. They used to sit in my bathroom. My bathroom is all warm earthy tones. The teal vases/bottles don't fit with the colors especially now since I painted the bathroom. They actual work with the colors in the family room and at one time they sat on the fireplace mantel. They look great with this painting hanging above the fireplace.

But again Hubby doesn't care for them. Hey now he gives me pretty much carte blanche to decorate the house how I like. However, with this one he is pretty adamant they are not going back on the mantel . He really dislikes these.

Ah what to do? They have been sitting on my kitchen table amongst the bathroom chotchkies while I was painting the bathroom. Now that is done....YES my bathroom is done. I will post pictures of the finished product later. I don't know what to do with them. They look kind of nice on the kitchen table. Don't you think?

hhhmmmm

Jooytobe

Another Hiatus

I have been on an unplanned hiatus. I am taking a two week break.

I am writing a book. I've wanted to do this for along time. I have tried in a half ass way in the past. But now I have decided I am going to go for it full throttle. After two weeks of intense writing I will re-evaluate, re-read and decide if I should I pursue this.

It's on my bucket list. So here goes nothing, I mean something.

Wish me luck!
Joytobe

Errands and Stuff

I got lots to do today and places to go. I will try to post this afternoon. If I don't.....Have a great day!

Joytobe

The Secret to a Successful Marriage

Last week while at zoo camp I had some time to write. But it was literally writing in a notebook. A paper notebook. I hate writing on paper. I can get my thoughts out typing much faster than I can with pen and paper. With paper I often lose my train of thought. But anyways I wrote this.

Some people have asked me or commented to me regarding how my husband and I seem so connected and affectionate. And how after 9 years we still look at each other that way. Well here is what I came up with when I tried to get the words out on paper. The short answer is: communication, humor, respect and passion. The long answer is following.

Never let it slide. What does that mean? Well maybe not the right words. Don't let it dull. Hard to explain but......

Think of a time when your love hurt your feelings. You had sharp pain. You were pissed! Angry, Mad, sad. You felt passion. Voices were raised. maybe even a door or two was slammed. Well I think this is healthy. Now that being said, it is terribly unhealthy if physical or mental abuse is happening. Raise your voice but don't use words you'll regret. Never name call, at least not out loud. I have called a few names in my head but will never admit it! Well, I just kind of did admit it but I'll never tell you the word I thought! ;)

See the way I see it is: If you never argue (use the word disagree for a milder term if you must but my husband and I argue) in a relationship...well, then heck somebody is lying! At some point your partner is going to say and do something that pushes your buttons or hurts your feelings. Things are not perfect. The saying, "Too good to be true." applies here.

But listen to your partners point of view. And after an argument apologize for your raised voices. There are times that you will have to agree to disagree. Other times you will HAVE to find a compromise that you can both live with. Don't let your pride get in the way of this. This is marriage which is not always a piece of cake.

More dangerous to me is the neglect of the relationship. When things are allowed to be acceptable. A dull ache. An unhealed wound. Not festering just dormant.

I have seen this in some of my past relationships. We slowly allowed it to just die. I think it all starts with little unresolved misunderstandings, a break down of communication, lack of respect. It all ends with nothing. It's gone. It can happen so quickly. Then you care no more.

Next time you are at a restaurant or bar look around and you'll find that couple. Throughout their time together they hardly achieve eye contact and no words are spoken. It's sad to see.

At first glance this may seem like their normal existence. But for some couples this may be temporary due to stress, anxiety or tragedy. For some this unbelievable coma is constant and chronic. It's like a terminal illness within their marriage. How long have they lived this way? How did this happen?

Now don't get me wrong. There are times in my life with my husband where silence is golden and no words need to be spoken. Even in these times I feel connected to him, content with him and comfortable. But the spark and passion is always there.

It is okay to feel content when your relationship is strong.

But for God's sake speak up when things aren't feeling right!!!! You know! You sense it. and if you ignore it you will end up like "that couple" I spoke of before.

Say, "I feel like we aren't connected. Is something going on? Are you upset with me?" or "Hey I'm upset cause we haven't been talking lately!" or "I feel distant from you. Do you feel it? Why?"

Open this conversation up! Look at it together as a couple. And be relentless in your search for the answer! Your marriage depends on it.

If your spouse tries to delay this conversation, let him. For 24 hours. Maybe he is sorting out his feelings and doesn't know what to say.

After 24 hours don't take no for an answer. This cannot be forgotten. you cannot give up. a line form my favorite movie Apollo 13, "Failure is not an option."

I do feel the need to clear up something here. The second my hubby is irritated I don't schedule a throwdown. nothing, and I mean nothing, pisses a man off more than when he is stressed or tired or worried to have the woman he loves saying, "You don't love me anymore!?!?"

I can tell when just regular stress is causing the problem or if something is wrong with the relationship. We all need our time alone to sort through stuff. make sure you give him his space when he needs it.

So love, honor and cherish each other and your relationship.

Never lose your sense of humor.
Joytobe

No Post Sundays

Enjoy this day!

"In those times I can't seem to find God, I rest in the assurance he knows how to find me."
--Neva Coyle

"Personality can open doors but only character can keep them open." --unknown

Joytobe

No Post Saturday

Have a fantastic weekend.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." --Dr Seuss

"If nothing ever changed there wound be no butterflies." -unknown

Update: The last butterfly climbed the great stairway to heaven yesterday. Well it was a long fruit filled life.

Joytobe

Sorry no morning post...I Got a Surprise

Well, I was dreading another lonely day traveling to and from the zoo and spending 4 lonely hours in between with nothing to do.

Instead....My honey surprised me. He stayed home from work and came with me! We had a great time exploring Apple Valley and the surrounding area. We ate lunch together! We bellied up to a bar. Okay we had one drink, we still had to drive home.

It was a wonderful 4 hour date. Just a perfect day.

I love you babe. And thank you for making my day.
Joytobe

Zoo Camp

This week Savanah is going to Zoo Camp. She has really enjoyed it. With her love for animals I could hardly pass up this opportunity. It is at our state zoo. She is learning about animals and getting to go up close to the animals. She gets to see some of the behind the scenes stuff at the zoo. It is so perfect for her. However, it has been rough on me. And her a bit too.

The Zoo is over 50 miles away. So I drive her there which takes a little over an hour. I hang out in that town for 4 hours while she is at camp. At first I thought this would be fun. Some of it has been. The drive home after camp has been horrendous for the both of us. Taking an hour and a half of stop and go rush hour traffic. She's tired, I'm tired and we are both very grouchy!

The first day I went to the zoo and meandered around. I saw every animal there. I hung out on a bench in the shade, there was a nice breeze. It was pleasant except for I was lonely. Usually when you are at the zoo you are with other people. So when I would see cute or intriguing animals I would talk out loud...to myself. "Awe isn't that cute?!" or "Wow look how big that is?" or "Oh there it is." small statements like that. But there was no one to listen to me. So I realized people were staring at me kind of weird. It was lonely.

The second day I found a Barnes and Noble. Normally I could peruse a book store for hours and be very content. Sit in a big comfy chair and read. I did but I found I was a bit antsy. I ran a couple of errands. Returned a couple of things at a local store.

Now yesterday I shopped a little but then a serious thunderstorm popped up. I sat in my car watching it unfold. You know how I love weather. I was checking the radar on my phone. Then the sirens went off and there was a tornado warning. I was worried about Savanah because the Zoo is only five minutes from where I was. I had asked her camp leader earlier since bad weather had been predicted, what they would do with the kids if the weather became treacherous. They actually take the kids underground in tunnels under the zoo. I wasn't worried about her safety but I was worried she would be scared.

The second tornado siren 5 minutes later was scary. I am sitting in my car listening to am radio for weather updates. All of sudden I hear "beep beep buzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzzz, this is the emergency broadcast system, A tornado has been sighted...yada yada yada." I did actually hop out of the car and go into a nearby store. The sky looked strangely ominous and volatile. Way off in the distance I could see clouds rotating. It was cool but a little nerve wracking. The second tornado warning was legit. There was a tornado about a mile away. Luckily no one was hurt.

Savanah was fine when I picked her up. During the tornado warning they went below ground to a theater that the zoo uses for training and watched a movie. She had been a little worried but it sounded like they did a great job keeping the kids calm.

After all that I decided at 4:00 to just go park in the zoo lot and read my book for an hour. The problem was it was sweltering outside with a heat index of 103. Super high humidity. Yuck.

So now here we are. Camp today and the last day is tomorrow. I have nothing to do!!!!!! I can't drive home cause I would just have to turn around and come back. I've already done everything I wanted to do. AND I AM LONELY!!!!! Two more days! uuugggghhhh

Oh what we do for our children. Someday when Savanah is a famous animal explorer on Animal Planet. She better take care of me and set me up in a nice house!!!
Joytobe

My Honey Looks like Who?

Recently someone who works with my honey said he looked like Professor Snape!!!! You gotta be kidding! Oh Please. uhhh NO I don't think so. Then they clarified a little, saying he looks like the actor who plays Professor Snape when he isn't all made up to look so grim.



Well I don't know. Maybe. This is really the only picture I can find that does resemble my honey. It is a younger Alan Rickman.



What do you think?

Joytobe

Bloom Where You Are Planted

I planted this year. If you remember this post. I was so proud that my honey and I built a box. a raised garden box. http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/04/my-box.html

Now I am so proud because I actually have something growing in it. See my pictures!

On the top left side are chives, mmmm yum yum In the middle is Marigold. I had heard deer don't like Marigold. (Wonder if bears do?) On the bottom left side is Lemon Balm a type of mint but it is not minty. When you squish the leaves it has a wonderful lemony aroma. The leaves have been used to calm Alzheimer patients. It is full of antioxidants. Has been used to help sleep. And to aid in nausea. I have been crushing up the leaves in my green tea every day. Very yummy!

Now you may notice the whole right side of the box is empty!! Oh no, My cucumbers died. aw too sad. I did learn some valuable lessons in my first year planting edibles. Planter boxes need more dirt. Every few days I have to go pull grass that has grown from below. I thought I put enough dirt but then it settled and apparently was not enough.

Also on my deck I planted North Star Red Peppers. I love red peppers but holy cow are they expensive. So I bought four plants. They like the soil a little drier like tomatoes so I put them on my deck so the sprinklers won't get them. They have all flourished. Best of all I HAVE PEPPERS growing. I am so very excited. From the looks of it I will have lots of peppers. Wherever a flower grows a pepper emerges. Lots of buds.

So yay for me!!!! I have always wanted to grow something I can eat!

I see more boxes in my future for next year. Get out the tools Baby!

Joytobe

Helping Haiti

This post was written by my sister Vivian.



Before I went to Haiti this March on a medical mission trip, several people said jokingly. "Vivian, just don't bring any kids home in your suitcase." I didn't, but I brought home a whole village of kids in my heart.


This little girl is Kathina. She is twelve years old, and since she was six, she had seizures almost every day of her life. She lives in Lougou, a tiny village in the mountains north of Les Cayes. Madeleine Avignon is one of the founders of COFHED, the nonprofit which sponsored the trip. She told me about Kathina before the trip, and so I was able to bring medicine for her.



Over the course of five days, we saw almost 1,500 people in a medical clinic set up in the school in Lougou. It was hot and chaotic. I was seeing entire families at once, five to ten people crowding into the little classroom. When Kathina came in with her uncle, she walked right up to me and hugged me, and said something very softly in Creole. I asked my interpreter what she had said. He looked a little surprised and said, "She said I love you." I immediately started trying to figure out if my suitcase was big enough for her. :)



The medicine is working! She is not having any seizures! The next time she saw Madeleine, the first thing she said was, "I want to go to school." Her younger sisters attend the school , which the community built with assistance from COFHED. Kathina has tried to go to school, but her epilepsy was too disruptive.



I am now sponsoring Kathina to go to school. For a very small amount, I pay for her tuition, uniforms, and books. I'm not telling you this to make you think I'm such a wonderful person. I'm telling you because it makes me so incredibly, amazingly happy to be able to do something that really makes a difference in someone's life.



There has been a lot on the news about how much money has been sent to Haiti since the earthquake. CBS news reported $15 billion. And it's in the news how nothing is changing. People are still hungry, living in tents, dying. It's so frustrating, and it's a situation that I don't know how to fix. It's disheartening, because so many people care and want to help, but they feel like any money they send is going into a big black hole, or sitting in someone's bank account, or ending in corrupt hands.



I know that many of my friends would love to help, but feel for the reasons I just mentioned that sending money is futile. I am writing to ask you to consider making a donation to COFHED. They are doing so much with every penny they receive. They are engaging the community on sustainable economic development projects. Please visit their website to see what I'm talking about, and consider making a donation. www.cofhed.org Or just follow along and send up your prayers. Also please forward this note to your friends who might also have a heart for Haiti. A word of warning, your heart might grow two sizes too big!

www.cofhed.org

No Post Sundays

Enjoy your family day!

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

Joytobe

No Post Saturday

Have a wonderful Saturday!



"It's a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize how much you love them." -Agatha Christie

Joytobe

Fight or Flight

Those of you who know me on facebook have heard a snippet of this story. But here are the details.

On Wednesday evening at about 7:45pm. I went for a walk. I was making my way home at about 8:15 pm. I was just about to cross the creek pictured here. My home is just on the other side of this creek. I was talking on my cell phone to my sister at this time.

Suddenly from the corner of my eye I saw movement. At first glance I thought it was Harry the neighbor's chocolate lab. But no it's too big and too dark to be Harry. A huge black Great Dane? No too big and huh? it's not moving like a dog? What is this? Now you must understand these thoughts are flying through my head at lightening speed.

This creature ran through my back yard, through the neighbors backyard, up their hill and is now on the sidewalk. The same sidewalk I am standing on. At this point the recognition sets in. IT IS A FREAKIN BEAR!

Now there is 50 feet between me and a big black bear. My body and heart froze. My mouth was working cause I vaguely remember hearing my own voice saying, "Oh my God, Oh my God. It's a bear."

My mind was shooting out thoughts like a machine gun. Okay full grown, uh was it a female? Does it have a baby with her cause if she does I am screwed? okay I don't see a baby. good. It's cute. okay now it is looking at me. What if it turns and comes this way? How fast can it run?

It was this precise moment that instinct from the cave man days kicked in. I don't remember making any sort of decision, Fight or Flight. But my feet started moving without my knowledge or willpower. The next thing I know I am running while looking over my shoulder fully expecting to see the bear chasing me. Now in the back of my mind I am remembering that you are not supposed to run from a bear, it just gives them reason to chase you. I did not consciously choose to run, it just happened. I ran to the neighbors house and rang the doorbell, no answer, rang it again and again and again.

I could still see the bear. Luckily I seemed to have scared it as it was running in the opposite direction away from me. It was then that I noticed the phone still in my hand. I hollered I gotta go and hung up. My neighbor opened the door. I hollered, "There's a bear!" He ran in to get something.

It was then that the fear ran through me. Serious fear. The bear was running down the street towards my house. Was Savanah outside playing?!?! Were other kids out in the lovely dusk summer air playing?!?! I quickly dialed my home number. My honey answered and I started hollering, "Is Savanah outside? Get her in if she is? Quickly, there is a bear!!!" Then I hung up.

The bear had started to run fast down the middle of the street towards the woods. Ahhh he scampered into the woods. Pictured below.

I saw another neighbor come outside at this point. Her 6 year old daughter had been in the garage when the bear ran by. She had seen it through her window.

My heart was still racing as several neighbors came outside to see what the commotion was all about. Then Savanah comes running out all excited to see the bear. "Sorry sweetie the bear is gone." However cute it was, I hope he/she never comes back.

It took a good hour before I was back to normal. Still now my heart races as I think about. I do think I probably looked foolish and comical running from the bear. Something you might see on America's Funniest Videos.

I would pay a lot of money to see this all unfold and hear what I must have sounded like on the phone and to my neighbors as I frantically rang their doorbell.

I am the crazy nature lady. If it ain't a duck it's a bear.

Joytobe