Thursday, April 21, 2011

Happiness # 7 - Remove the Word Perfect

Happiness Ingredient # 7

Remove the word Perfect from my dictionary.

I just can't stress this enough.

Perfection has the ability to ruin my day and everyday if I let it. Some examples:

When we were selling our house I was a perfection monster. I tortured my family and myself. Now this was short lived and somewhat necessary. We needed to move and we needed the house to sell....and fast.

But every time we got the call for a showing I went on a flippin tantrum induced psychotic outburst.

The problem really started when we moved into our new house. I still required that perfection. Since this was a brand new home I expected it to always look like a model home. I felt like a failure when it didn't.

Now I still easily can slide down this slippery slope back into this neurosis.

Something I strive to remember....Perfection is not only ugly. In fact I would go as far as to say "Imperfection is Beautiful". You can quote me on that.

I lived in a new home outside of Dallas, TX as a child. This neighborhood created great memories for me (catching frogs, gaining some independence with my bike all summer long). But perhaps my favorite thing about the neighborhood was an imperfection within our house. The sliding glass door had an oil spot in the glass. I assume it occurred on an assembly line. Probably oil dripped from some machinery. Someone quality checking the product must have missed this imperfection. To me it was the most beautiful thing in the world. When the sun would shine on that glass door it created the most beautiful rainbow on the floor.

No one in my family ever mentioned the imperfection but I found out later that my mother also loved that door. To me it was my special little rainbow.

I have 12 beautiful drinking glasses. (they were an anniversary gift last year) They should all be exactly the same but they are not. One of my kitchen glasses has a strange, wonderful, beautiful imperfection. It is hard to explain what it looks like. Almost like a small strip in the glass is blurry like a prism. It is my favorite. Every time I pull a water glass out of the cabinet I look to see if it is my special glass. On the lucky days that it is.....well, I smile just a little brighter that day! It's hard to explain I'm not sure I can.

A perfect plank of mahogany would not be as beautiful without the knot. A perfectly sunny day would not spark the imagination of a child making shapes out of the clouds.

A few times when my children were little I would hear people tell them, "That is perfect." It could have been a story they created or a drawing. Or maybe the clothes they were wearing. Whatever it was, I would privately speak to that person and ask them not to say perfect to my children. I would give them suggestions like, "Wow that is great. I can tell you worked hard on that." or simply "nice job".

I never said it to them. I don't want them to feel like they have to live up to perfection. I have always told them just do your best. People may still say that to them but now I feel they are equipped to understand. Young children take everything so literally.

I have had to learn to train myself to stop requiring perfection.It is an ongoing work of art.
Joytobe

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a perfect post.... hehe