Now back to the regularly scheduled post.
It's okay to be sad for a good reason. ( weather can be a reason to be sad, but only to a point) It is even okay to sometimes be sad for no reason at all. However, you really need to do some soul searching when you are sad and you should be happy.
I write this because sometimes I feel this way. I also write this because I see so many teens struggling with this. It seems like almost an epidemic to me. This overall depression effecting our teens. Not all teens. And to tell the truth a lot of them have good reason to be sad.
Now I am talking really sad not just like crabby. I can be happy as can be then suddenly get crabby. Usually I figure out that I am hungry. ;)
Anyways, I just wish there was a way to help them. Now I am no psychologist. But I have dealt with depression myself. Actually you probably always deal with it in one way or another. Mostly I guess I control it so it doesn't control me.
There are still times when I feel sad when I should feel happy. If I really soul search when this happens I find one of a few things are happening. One of these is not living in the moment. Allow me to explain.
1. I am living in the future. WORRY
Oh Worrying can easily over take my life if I let it. Often when I find myself worrying I do a little quick 1 minute meditation. Taking five really deep breaths. On the intake I breath in through my nose and I think the words "clear the mechanism" ( I saw this in the movie For the Love of the Game). I exhale the breath through my mouth making a sighing noise as I let the air out. As you exhale try to relax your entire body especially your shoulders. Just let them droop. Then I stretch my whole body. Doesn't stretching feel magnificent. If my mind starts to wonder back to what I was worrying (obsessing) about. I repeat over and over, "Here and now". When I am done I get up and do something physical or busy work. Fold laundry, clean a room, empty the dishwasher. Just something that makes me move and makes me feel accomplishment. These steps really do help me.
I often find I am worrying about things because I have procrastinated and now something is eating away at my soul. Something that I should have done. You know what I am talking about. All those things circling your head as you try to go to sleep. For this I have found a somewhat cure. Write each of these things on a separate piece of paper at the very top. Staple the pieces together. Making somewhat of a worry journal.
Now go back to each individual sheet of paper. Each individual worry. Ponder the worry. What can you do about it? What steps need to be taken to get rid of this worry? Write a timeline/ deadline to complete each step. After you have completed the steps put a big bright smiley face on the page. Feel good about it. Let that worry go. It is done.
2. I am living in the past. DWELLING
I used to do this a lot. In fact I used to spend a lot of energy blaming others for my problems. The fact is they were partially responsible. But I spent all this energy that instead I wish I had just dealt with it. That lesson took a long time to learn. It began with the realization that this is my life and I wasn't willing to let the past continue to take away my happiness. This also took professional therapy. It's okay to ask for help!
My other dwelling would be over mistakes I have made in life. But I have learned to forgive my imperfect self, as I would a child that I loved dearly.
I still deal with these two issues. It is an ongoing battle. It doesn't just go away. You have to make it go away.
Dealing with these two issues (the future and the past) gives you an intense feeling of freedom. Living in the NOW. Being in the moment.
Not pursuing my passion.
Not being healthy.
For now I relish in the fact that I am present and accounted for.
Joytobe
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