The Gray Area

I used to never think there was much of a gray area in parenting. You know...more black and white.

Be nice to others
Don't steal
Don't cheat
No hitting (or biting or kicking)
Share
Take turns
Be respectful

Now there is definitely a gray area where you choose consequences for not following these rules but you work through it.

Now I find myself in a very gray area as I watch my teenager maneuver through relationships. Those rules above still apply but now there are a whole new set of rules that I don't know. I guess I am in the teenage parent learning curve and I am certainly not gifted in this area

I struggle and I am afraid of making mistakes. This is maybe the most crucial time within a child's development. This is it. My last chance to groom him and send him into the world strong confident and caring. This is where he really feels his own self worth. This is where he gives it all a test drive but still has the bumpers on the car.

I am those bumpers.

This is my dilemma. My child is being hurt by a girl. I can see that she is using and manipulating him. She is thriving on the attention Billy and another boy are giving her. But she can't decide she cares for them both. Whatever!! She is stringing him along. And he is following her. I have no respect for this girl. Alas he will not listen to me. Billy is smart by he is blinded by love. He is "in love". I see him hurting. He doesn't want to hear my opinion anymore. But it is obvious he needs someone to talk to. At this point he is starting to not trust me because I can hardly keep myself quiet. The more I try to push him away from her the stronger he is pulled towards her.

At what point do you forbid him to see her or talk to her? Does there come a time when that is necessary? If he gets so down? The drama she creates gets too much for him. We are not there yet but it's heading in that direction. Would that do any good? Then will he just lie to me?

This girl is bringing him down. Is this a lesson he has to learn for himself?
Do I just sit by with duct tape on my mouth?

This is causing serious stress within our family.

What should I be doing besides praying? (cause I am already doing that.)
Joytobe