I feel like this today

My Honey is home. I feel like this song by Jessica Andrews. Helplessly, Hopelessly. It's an awesome song. Here are the lyrics.

I can stand with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I can fight with the toughest of the tough.
I can laugh in the face of all my insecurities.
Anytime Anywhere Anything
I'm strong enough.

But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch.
I'm completely defenseless.
Baby it's almost too much.
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
falling in love.

So let consequence do what it will to us
I don't care
Let the stars stand as witness to it all.
Say the word
and tonight I will follow you anywhere.
I just can't pretend anymore
I'm too sturdy to fall cause

But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch.
I'm completely defenseless.
Baby it's almost too much.
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
falling in love.


I am not afraid.
I am not afraid.
cause

When you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch.
I'm completely defenseless.
Baby it's almost too much.
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
falling.

I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
falling in love.



Here is a link to the video on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKVJPnEbOkA

My Honey's Favorite Tree

I have been out of sorts this week because my sweet Hubby has been gone all week on a business trip. Oh It just sucks without him. Being away from him really sucks! Boy does absence make my heart grow fonder! Remember last week when we were irritable with one another.



Well not any more. I miss him. I want him back. now. :( Just a few more hours!








This is his favorite tree. From our deck you can see this tree in the distance on a big hill (probably the highest elevation in our flat little town). It turns real pretty red in the fall. See how it stands above all the others. Very proud and beautiful, confident but not boastful, like "Here I am". It reminds me of Lion King and the tree of life. I love that he pointed this majestic tree out to me. I miss him.



Often when we go to sit on the deck Jeff will mention that it is his favorite tree. He knows I already know this but he feels the need to tell me again. I always smile. I love that predictability that comes from 10 years together. We still discover new stuff about each other but it is the stuff you can count on, the tried and true stuff that I cherish.

If I haven't said so already....I miss him. I love him too.


Honey, Nothing is the same without you not even your favorite tree.

I love you and I miss you!

Come home to me
Joytobe



Oops. I forgot to answer the Trivia question! I like the word "alas". Reminds me of the first Harry Potter. Hey trivia: Do you know the scene and who says "alas"? Answer Dumbledore says it in the scene at the end when Harry is in the hospital.


And a correction, the other day I posted a quote of Savanah's it went like this "Savanah was trying to show Jeff how to play this made up game called Ninja. She said, "Daddy, Billy and I are going to do a sampling to show you how to play."



And should have gone like this. "Savanah was trying to show Jeff how to play this made up game called Ninja. She said, "Daddy, Billy and I are going to do an exampling to show you how to play."



It wasn't "sampling" , it was "exampling". Sure makes it more cute and funny doesn't it? As my dear friend Amy's Dad used to say "a-duh". I sure miss him.

My Stairs....Her Imagination

This is a photo of my stairs. These are Savanah's animals. She loves playing with them. She has created a game like this is a stage. They each have to sing "In My Heart". Like American Idol the animals can get voted off of the stage. It's cute watching her do this.

The problem is this.

Each stair on my staircase has animals on it. She has begged me to leave them there. I have left them there for two days. She has played this game for two nights right before bed. I have tumbled, dodged, tripped, tiptoed and stumbled up and down these stairs for two days now! Okay somebody is going to get hurt here. She jumped all over me because if you look at the third stair from the bottom the cat is apparently been knocked over! GASP She noticed right away that it had been knocked over and was not in its original place.

Excuse ME whose house is this anyways????? huh.... huh.... MY HOUSE. That's right you heard me........ MY HOUSE......M-I-N-E mine

Oh look at that cute face. aawww flowers. oh for me. How sweet is that?

Okay keep the animals on the stairs one more night.

Yup I'm a softy, a push over. But seriously look at that face. Hard to say no to ain't it.

Holy cow It's her house now. The worst part is she knows it.

Joytobe

Beauty on the Inside....or Not

Recently I posted about my favorite rock. You can read it here if you haven't already.
http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/04/my-favorite-rock.html

That post reminded me of a story I wanted to blog about. So Here it is. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and guilty.


Billy in Kindergarten Mommy’s Pride

Billy went to Kindergarten at Homecroft Elementary School in St Paul. His teacher was named Renee. He was allowed to call her Renee. There were a set of twins in Billy’s class named Mitch and Sheila. Mitch and Billy did not get along very well. Mitch was troublesome and of course Billy was angelic. 8)

Sheila had a very noticeable facial birth defect. She was very sweet and shy. Mitch was the exact opposite of Sheila. He was handsome and obnoxious. Their mother was never friendly with me as she thought Billy was the root of Mitch’s problems at school.

We were at a school event sitting at a table with Mitch, Sheila and their Mom. We were discussing a project the kids had been working on to discover the meaning of their names. For instance, William means protector. Sheila’s mom was trying to coax Sheila into telling us the meaning of her name. She was painfully shy but eventually she whispered, “Beautiful”. Billy exclaimed to Sheila, “You are beautiful!” Sheila smiled but looked unconvinced. Billy emphatically said, “You really are beautiful.” He looked at her mom and said, “She is beautiful.”

In this moment I was so proud of Billy. My son looked past the scars on Sheila’s face and saw the truth of what really makes people beautiful, their soul. I was overwhelmed with emotion as I smiled at my young son.

Sheila’s mom smiled at Billy too, then she cocked her head to one side and said, “Well that’s nice, particularly after what you said about me.”

My mind went uuuuhhhh, uh oh! I looked at Billy with raised eyebrows. He shrugged his shoulders and said without apology or hesitation, “I said she was ugly.” I gasped.

Never in all my life have I wanted to embrace my child and then strangle them within ten seconds!

I must say though looking back at this event I acknowledge in both circumstances with Sheila and her mom, Billy was seeing the inside of the person.

I gently admonished Billy saying, "Billy that is not a nice thing to say." I then said with a bit of a smirk, "If you can't say something good then there is nothing good to say." However wrong this may be, I did not make him apologize.

Joytobe

Tip for Tuesday - Custard Dish Diet

The key to the "Custard Dish Diet" is NEVER EVER fill the custard dish with custard. Not under any circumstance!

The custard dish diet is my own little invention. Please note VERY IMPORTANT, I am not a dietitian, nutritionist, expert on dieting by any means. I put this out there as my medical disclaimer. I am not responsible. I mean....I am not responsible for you or your health! You cannot sue me!

So as I have been dieting and exercising I have observed my passionate cravings. The largest one for me is cheese!!! I love cheese. love love love cheese. When I try to ignore my cravings, they just get worse and I get crabby. So I figured out a way to "have my cheese and eat it too."

I read a study once about weight. The study was interesting in that it followed people who were overweight trying to lose weight. But it also followed thin, healthy people who never dieted. They found the healthy fit people would crave something with high calories then eat it. (with portion control) The overweight people would crave something with high calories then try to avoid that craving by eating something else and then eating something else. The third thing they ate ended up being what they were originally craving. Then they would be satisfied.

Okay so I start with a healthy breakfast (oatmeal, cereal) and a healthy lunch (salad, turkey sandwich) and a smaller size dinner. My husband is the best cook and he makes fattening stuff (fettuccine Alfredo) so I really have to limit my calories during the day and then limit my portions at night. I drink lots of water. Anything low fat, low calorie that I can tolerate without feeling like I am denying myself I use (low fat mayo, ranch dressing, etc).

Now my big problems have been the in between meals hunger. And cravings.

So I decided to satisfy my cravings. I have found that eating a small amount of what I am craving actually will satisfy the craving.

Now I am allowed 3 snacks a day. In fact three custard dish size snacks.

Examples of some of my snacks are:

Cottage cheese
Two tablespoons of any light dressing or light dip with 15 small stick pretzels. (satisfies my dipping need)
2 pieces of cheese with two crackers.
small piece of chocolate with a little peanut butter
cut up cucumber with a tablespoon of light dressing (if you take out the seeds it won't give you gas)
cut up red pepper with light dressing
Yogurt
Banana with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter
Baby Carrots dipped in light dressing

Now if we are having something very fattening for dinner I may cut out 1 snack. Or if it is a day I will not get to exercise I may cut out 1 snack.

Another key to this working is to prepare your snacks and don't eat one bite until you have put all the ingredients away. I used to eat a piece or two or three of cheese while I was cutting it up. Or I would leave the cheese out. Oh so easy to cut off another piece!

Now I have been doing this about three weeks, I have lost 8 pounds. I am rarely hungry and I feel satisfied. The hardest part of this is dinner time for me. Such yummy meals and I want to keep eating! and eating and eating.

I know everyone is different so what works for me may not work for you. But I thought I should share this since it's different and it is working for me.

Joytobe

Great Fun

I've had great fun this weekend. I planted. I weeded. I mulched. I played. I painted.



Yes it was a great weekend. Now Monday. :( Well not really :( But I do love spending all of this uninterrupted time with my family.



Now perfect for a Monday morning.....I want to throw my computer out the window. I am soooo close. Had nothing but problems this morning. I plan to catch up on my posts for this week today if she (my computer) will hold up.



I changed my plans this weekend, after overhauling my upstairs bathroom this past week I was going to paint my bathroom all weekend. An awesome mocha tan color from Behr called Toffee Crunch. But alas the sun and yard work pulled me outdoors. I like the word "alas". Reminds me of the first Harry Potter. Hey trivia: Do you know the scene and who says "alas"?

I did paint a little. So this week I paint! I love to paint. I'm pretty good at it too, if I don't say so myself.

So I am going to push this post out before my computer craps out again. I'll post more later....hopefully.

Joytobe

A Beautiful Saturday

It is a beautiful Saturday and I intend to spend most of it outside enjoying the sunshine....not sitting at the computer! So here are a couple cute and funny quotes from my family.

My son Billy told me this gem. "If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

Last night Jeff and I were watching The Marriage Ref with Billy. Not sure if this is appropriate but hey it's funny and Billy can handle it. This is most obvious by the comment he made. In this episode there was a REALLY creepy guy. I mean make-your-skin-crawl creepy! Jeff and I were both thinking to ourselves, this guy could be a pedophile or stalker or something. So Billy says, "This guy could be riding around in a rusted red windowless van with "Free Candy" written on the side." Jeff and I both doubled over in laughter! Dang is Billy funny!

Savanah was trying to show Jeff how to play this made up game called Ninja. She said, "Daddy, Billy and I are going to do a sampling to show you how to play." Sampling- huh I like that word.

Gotta go..the breeze is calling to me.
Enjoy your day.
Joytobe

Nowthen

You may remember the other day I posted about my favorite sign. If not here is the link to read about it. http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/04/my-favorite-sign.html

Well today I am talking about the stop sign above. This is the only thing separating me from civilization. Humanity at its finest. The hustle and bustle of Elk River!

On my side of this sign you see homes, farms, ranches with horses and cattle, prairie, woods and dirt roads. It is serene. My neighborhood doesn't necessarily fit into this serene picture. It is just a regular old suburban neighborhood. But it serves its purpose...it is my home. Just past my neighborhood is where all this beauty lies.

About five miles past my neighborhood is a small town called Nowthen. At its origination it was called Burns Township officially established in 1869. However the first birth in this town was recorded in 1857. The first marriage was also recorded in 1857. Not sure which came first? hmmm shotgun weeding? Anyways the population as of the 2000 census was 3,357.

The interesting thing about Nowthen was how it got its name. The official story on the city website is this.

Jim Hare (first postmaster) was credited in naming the Nowthen Post Office. History says that Hare wrote to Washington requesting a Post Office in Burns Township. The Post Office Department indicated that they could not approve the Burns Post Office because there was already Burnstown Township Post Office in Southern Minnesota. The department asked Hare for suggestions for a new name. Jim Hare sent a letter to the department with several suggested names. At the end of his letter he stated "nowthen" and signed it. Not knowing that Hare often started and ended his sentences with "nowthen", the department thought it was a pretty good name and named Burns Township's Post Office the Nowthen Post Office.

Even after the Nowthen Post Office closed in July 31, 1894 the residents still referred to the area around the Post Office as Nowthen.

In 2007 Nowthen was incorporated into a city! It is a darling little community. I love going to Nowthen.

So that is one side of the stop sign. And God help me but on the other side of the stop sign is Walmart. This stop sign is the only thing that stands between me and Walmart. Only one stop sign....no street lights....just one measly stop sign.

Stop...no really Stop

Joytobe

Words We Don't Mean

Have you ever had a day or night that you and your love were just off? Not in sync. Maybe one is grouchy and then the other gets irritated. And it snowballs into this very yucky feeling. All you want to do is go to bed and try this again tomorrow.



I am sure this happens to every couple. It happened to me and my love the other day. Whenever this happens (thankfully not very often) I think of this Amy Grant song called "That's What Love is For". It helps me feel better. Reminds me of the big beautiful picture. Here are some of the lyrics.




Sometimes we make it harder than it is

We’ll take a perfect night

And fill it up with words we don’t mean

Dark sides best unseen



And we wonder why we’re feeling this way.

Sometimes I wonder if we really feel the same

Why we can be unkind

Questioning the strongest of hearts



That’s when we must start

Believing in the one thing that has gotten us this far.

That’s what love is for.



Melt our defenses

Bring us back to our senses

Round off the edges

Talk us down from the ledges



Sometimes I see you

And you don’t know I am there

And I’m washed away by emotions

I hold deep down inside

Getting stronger with time

It’s living through the fire

And holding on we find



That's what love is for
Joytobe

Pamaism Day

Okay I visited my dear Pama yesterday. She had a doctor appointment that went great. She is quite healthy and happy.



I have a few Pamaism. What is a Pamaism? See this post for an explanation. http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/04/pamaism.html


It is hard to choose which one to write about. So I guess I'll start with this.

My sister Vivian went to see Pama the other day. They sat by the bird aviary that is filled with finches. So Pama says, "Isn't it amazing how easy it is to love almost anything?"

So looking at this quote you think, what a sweet, loving, kind lady! And she certainly is, however she has a sassy side.

Yesterday while visiting Pama, I told her how in Billy's play he had to have a sword fight with his ex-girlfriend. She chuckled and said, "I bet that was tempting for him." I told her the sword was made of wood. She said, "Oh too bad"

The lesson in this story is don't cross my 92 year old grandma. Cause I bet my grandma could beat up your grandma!

She may be sweet but she is feisty too.

I love both of those qualities,
"Sweet and Sassy"
Joytobe

Tip For Tuesday - Spring Cleaning

To Spring Clean or not to Spring Clean? That is the question.

Whenever I think of "spring cleaning" I think of 1950's housewives. That brings a guttural uuugggghhh from my bowels. I am not a 1950's housewife. I am not June Cleaver. I am not even Morticia Adams.

I am a Domestic Engineer. So I don't do "spring clean". I do however take time in the spring and fall to "overhaul" my home. I try to make it fun though.

I work in only one room at a time. (very important so you don't get overwhelmed!) This week I am working on the upstairs bathroom.

First I declutter all the cabinets. Throwing out anything that is no longer used (expired medications, old make up, etc.)

Then I reorganizing the stuff that is used. While reorganizing I take stock of anything I need to replenish, soap, sunscreen, etc.

Then I do a very thorough cleaning. (the un-fun part). I clean those parts of the bathroom that go unnoticed during your average cleaning. The grout. the caulk. the window blinds. the lighting fixtures. Soak the trash can. Lift the little knobs off the bottom of the toilet.....eeewwweee gross, clean that too. After this major sweep.....

I fix anything that need to do be fixed or done. For instance every year in this process, I reseal the grout around the tile. Wow looks awesome.

Then I look through the room with a fresh eye. What do I love in this room? What do I hate in this room? What small decorating things can I change with no cost? What color would I like this room to be? Make a wish list of things that cost money that you would like to change in this room. Keep a folder for every room in your house. When you see something in a magazine that you love. Put it in there with your wish list.

Then by all means paint the room the color you want it to be. Now this costs a little money but it is the most dramatic inexpensive change you can make!

Then love the room!

Now move on to another room.
Joytobe

Running late

Sorry I am running late! I have to take Pama to a Dr appointment, (no worries just a check up). Tip for Tuesday- Spring Cleaning Edition will be posted later today.

Check around 3:00- ish.

Thanks
Joytobe

Who Knows Me?

Facebook is really interesting to me. Recently I have become "facebook friends" with people from my past. Friends from high school. Even friends from elementary school. People I have worked for and with over the years. Through these new/old interactions I have started thinking...... who really knows me?


Those that really know me the least I think are the ones who have worked for me. Many of these people I would have wanted to be friends with. In a manager role you are not really allowed (the unwritten rule) to be friends with those who report to you. I could never truly show myself to them. I had to keep a wall of propriety between us. I had to implement company policies without showing my true opinion or many emotions. I couldn't really befriend anyone for fear of playing favorites. And above all I couldn't show my wicked sense of humor. I am really unconventional as that goes.


I like to think I helped some of them by either being someone who would listen or by giving them career or situational advise. But sad as it may be I don't think they ever got to know me. I like to think they would have liked the real me. The playful, insightful and humorous me.


I suppose in any relationship you adjust for appropriateness. I will allow some of my different characteristics to surface with some people more than others. That is normal and right I suppose.


The person who knows me best is my husband. I can let completely go with him and know I will not be judged. I will still be held accountable for my words or actions but not judged.

Joytobe

Happy Mother's Day

To all the Mommies out there. Here's to you!

Mother Prayer

Dear Lord,today we pray for mothers--
our own mothers, and mothers everywhere,
who have made such a major contribution
to the good qualities we have,
sometimes through genetics,
more often through great effort and patient instruction,
and who have done their best
to gently polish away our rough edges.

Lord, please bless our mothers
for the endless hours of time they spent
and the boundless energy they invested in us.
Bless our mothers for their sacrifices on our behalf
as they often gave up or deferred their own dreams
so that we could have ours.

Bless our mothers for always being there for us,
for being the person we know we can turn to
when we need comfort, encouragement, or just a hug.
Bless our mothers for making a home for us
where we could feel safe, where we felt we belonged.

Most of all, Lord,bless our mothers for their unconditional love,
for loving us no matter what,
and for frequently showing love
in ways that make us feel valued and cherished.

Lord, please bless our mothers mightily.
Strengthen them, soothe them,wrap them in Your infinite love
and shower them with blessings
too numerous to count, too magnificent to describe.
We love them, admire them, respect them,
and we wish that You would give them back
many times the good they gave to us.
Amen
By Joanna Fuchs


Thank you Mom,
Joytobe

Mr.Okasaki... Thank You

My Dear Mr. Okasaki wrote this in my yearbook of my junior year.

"Joyce- There are so many things one can say about conservatives: a) They're usually old b)narrow minded and c) intolerant. But there is only one good thing one can say - IT IS CURABLE! Besides you don't fool me - You are a closet liberal aren't you? It has been fun and interesting having those political discussions in our science class. Hope you learned something from it - maybe even a little science. The very best to you always. Your friend, Mr. O"


When I knew you I was still a product of my parent's beliefs and political denomination. I suppose we all start out that way.


Mr. Okasaki, I learned science from you and oh so much more. Most importantly you showed me how to find my confidence. You showed me I could voice my opinion without retribution. I grew up in a less than stellar home. You were not allowed to disagree. My father was ALWAYS right. There was no point to discussion, you couldn't win and your opinion would never be respected.


You taught me how to respectfully disagree with an elder. (sorry to call you an elder!) Our discussions mean more to me than you will probably ever know. Although you and I often disagreed and probably would still today, I always had the highest respect for you. You were the first adult in my life who listened to my argument, disagreed and respected me.


Perhaps this lesson was important for you to teach as you were born in an American Concentration camp for Japanese-Americans in World War II. A time when Japanese-Americans weren't allowed a voice or freedom.


Through our discussions I think the entire class learned this lesson too. As teenagers they might not have known they were learning this lesson but we sure made an impression on them because here are some of the other entries from that yearbook.


"It's been great having you in my science class and listening to your arguments with the teacher."


"It's been great having you in Mr. O's science class and seeing you always argue with him."


"I have learned so much from you being in science class together."


"Multi-science has been fun this year! You and Mr. O arguing."


"I've had a lot of fun this semester in science."


"It was fun knowing you in science."


"I'm happy that we met this year. It was exciting hearing you and Mr. O arguing."


"Joyce, So glad I got to know you and that you didn't let Mr. O's opinions sway you. Hope to see you next year." Mrs. Love


Like I said we for sure made an impression on those young minds.


However the questions still stands... Am I a liberal or a conservative....democrat or republican? I don't know! I am neither and I am both. In the middle I suppose. Right where I am supposed to be.


Just wanted to give a huge thank you to the best teacher I have ever had. I am not sure what I remember that you taught me about science. But I have become successful in life because of you for teaching me to respectfully stand up for myself.


Thank you


Joyce

Mother's Day and a Birthday Wish

Mother's Day by definition means: An annual day for honoring mothers and motherhood observed on the second Sunday of May.

Mother by definition means: n.1. A female parent 2. A female who holds a position of authority or responsibility. v. (mothered) 1. to give birth to; be the mother of. 2. To create; produce 3. To watch over, nourish and protect.

I suppose the most significant of words I would use to describe a mother would be; one who loves unconditionally, guides, teaches and protects her children. It is my greatest desire to be described with these words.

For many years I had a love/hate relationship with Mother's Day. My own Mother, God rest her soul, did not give me many of the things I needed. Mostly protection. I traveled a difficult path that today indeed I would protect my own children from with my life. Forgiveness and unconditional love was/is my last eternal gift to my mother.

Today is May 7th, 2010. The birthday of my first born daughter, Katie. I love you with all of my heart! Happy Birthday

On May 7th, 1987 at the age of 15 I became a mother, at least a biological mother. I gave birth. I love this daughter as if she were my own. But she is not my own for I gave her to another mother. One that could take care of her in a way that I could not. A mother that could protect her with the wisdom that comes from age. A mother who would, did and does love her as much as I do. The love of a mother who could not have children of her own. I have never stopped caring and worrying over her well being.

She has asked me the what if question? What if I had kept her? This does break my heart. I don't know. It didn't seem like an option at the time. I did what I thought was best for her.

So Mother's Day was/is bittersweet for me. I honored my mother but felt emptiness for I too had the love in my heart for my child. I was a mother but I was not a mother.

This sounds selfish so I apologize. I was not celebrated on Mother's day. Rightfully so I was not honored or recognized on Mother's day. Deep down it hurt. Again this sounds so selfish to me but it is the truth of my feelings. With guilt over these feelings I have asked myself, "What about this child who maybe felt abandoned by her mother?" I have prayed every day that she would feel and know my love for her.

Many years later when my son, Billy was born, I was recognized as a "Mother". It made Mother's Day a little less painful but the sting was still there underneath.

The underlying pain of my own childhood and the lost years of my first born daughter's childhood is still there today. Maybe a little stronger this year with the passing of my mother. I suppose now I know what it feels like to not have my mother.

Joyce

Life Altering

My sweet Savanah is in love. Lordy..help me cool her jets. Yes she is 7. But truly she has a ginormous (gigantic and enormous put together) crush. This crush is on the captain of Billy's play. Captain Jennings. She drools when she sees this boy. She cannot stop staring at him.





And this is what she told me, "My life has been changed. This has changed my life. He changed my life."





God help me.

Joytobe

My Pama

My Pama is my grandmother, Evelyn. Isn't she a beauty? She was always beautiful. This photo was taken this year on her 92nd birthday. I hope I look like her when I am 92 years old. More importantly I hope I am just like her when I am 92 years old. She is funny and happy and forgetful. The truth of the matter is she used to be shy but I think she forgot that she was shy. She smiles and says hello to everyone she sees.

My Grandmother was born in Knoxville Tennessee on February 4th, 1918. She was born with a twin. My grandmother's true name is Thelma Eveylyn, (she never liked the name Thelma). Her twin was named Zelma. Can you imagine Thelma and Zelma? Her twin died at about two weeks old. She had an older sister named Wilma also.

So it was Thelma, Zelma and Wilma. ;)

Pama's parents both contracted Tuberculosis and moved to El Paso Texas for treatment. Because of it's warm dry climate El Paso attracted many with tuberculosis.

She lived in an orphanage called Southwestern Children's Home. On her way to school every day she would pass the treatment center where her mother was being treated. They would wheel her mother to the window so she could wave to her girls. She wasn't allowed to see her mother for fear of bringing TB germs into the home. She never touched her mother again and only saw her through a window pane. She died when Pama was approximately 6 years old. Her father died shortly after that.

She and her sister were orphans. My grandmother has many stories about living in the orphanage. It was started by Reverend Hogg and his wife. Shortly after that a prominent Attorney named Victor Moore began running the orphanage. Pama referred to Victor Moore as "Daddy Moore". She loved him dearly. But life was not all pleasant at the orphanage. Victor's wife was very stern and religious. She ruled with an iron hand. All the children had to call her, "My Dearie". According to Pama, "My Dearie" couldn't stand pama and treated her poorly, perhaps because Daddy Moore adored Pama? To this day when Pama tells a story about the orphanage she says "My Dearie" with disgust in her voice and a roll of her eyes.

My grandmother moved from the home at age 18. She and her sister lived together until she met and fell in love with my grandfather, Pampa. He passed away 20 years ago.

Unfortunately, all of her parents belongings (photos, family records) were burned because of germs. I have searched for records and photos of them for her and have been unable to find anything. All she had left of them were her memories.

Three years ago we moved my Pama from her home she shared with Pampa in El Paso to Minnesota so we could take care of her. Now it seemed as we moved her into assisted living that she was being put back into an institution. Through the guardianship battle she lost her home and many of her most precious belongings by the hand of her evil son. (A whole grueling and gruesome story in itself.)

Throughout the move and guardianship battle with my uncle her photograph of "Daddy Moore" was lost. Now with her memory fading I felt I needed to find something of the past for her to hold onto. Something tangible she could look at or see that proved her existence or self worth. We all need reminders of where we have been through photos or writings or documents. She had nothing....again. I felt awful about all of this.

So I started searching the Internet again for info on her parents. I could find nothing. So I searched for Victor Moore, "Daddy Moore".

Then I found a treasure!

A book called "A Chance for Every Child". I was so freakin excited! This book was about two children's homes is El Paso Texas that combined to make the existing structure of Center for Children El Paso. The two homes were St Margaret's started in 1919 and Southwestern Childrens Home started in 1925 (yup you guessed it...this is where pama lived as a child!) I contacted one of the authors Sandy Ruiz, (He is the director of this organization still today). He was a very gracious man who sent me a copy.

When I received the book in the mail I just about cried. There were so many photos. A beautiful picture of my pama's beloved, "Daddy Moore". Photos of the home. Photos of the summer cabin in Ruidoso that my Pama always spoke of.

When I gave this book to my grandmother I can say it was profound and perhaps the most significant gift I could have ever given her. This is one of my more proud moments in life to be able to witness so much joy as she looked through the book pointing out things in the pictures. The window to the bedroom where she slept as a child in a orphanage which is no longer standing. This book gave her a missing piece of her past. I was thrilled to be a part of it. To listen to her childhood stories now with a photo. Now as her memory continues to fade she has this solid proof of her past.

I love you Pama.

Joytobe

Tip for Tuesday - Inspiration and fun!

Make a book of quotes.

I love my book of quotes

My dear awesome, smart, funny, pretty (she is probably reading this) sister Brenda started this brilliant idea. And I have to share it.

She has this cool journal type book. Actually it is exactly the same as mine pictured here. She uses it to write down quotes that she finds inspirational or funny. When I saw this book I knew I had to get one. Then she bought it for me as a gift.

Now whenever I am somewhere and I see or hear a quote that I love I write it down and put it in my quote book. Often when I am looking for inspiration I turn to my quote book. It helps me find my smile.

My sister and I live a few hundred miles from each other. :( But when we get together we compare our quote books, taking inspiration from each other.

Isn't that pen fun too!?!? I love different funny pens. When you write with this pen the beads on top jiggle and make a fun noise.

Then again I love pretty much any office/school supply. God help me when shopping for school supplies. I always over buy, oops guess I'll have to keep that for myself! My addiction to office supplies could be a post all by itself. hmmmmm wheels are turning.

I love it!

Joytobe

Zip...Zero...Zilch...Nothing...Nil...Nada

Yeah! This is my calendar for today! You see that?! Nothing!!! This is indeed a rarity. It is unprecedented. I don't know what to do with myself!

Just Kidding. I certainly have things to do but Wow...what a relief to see an empty day on a calendar especially after such a busy weekend. I am not sure "Nada" is a real word or how to spell it.

Still struggling with this cold but it is manageable.

Anyways with all this time on my hands maybe I can get caught up and write some future posts.

So look for something new from me later.

Got lots of ideas brewing.

Joytobe

The End......TaDa

Oh the end of "The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree". It is bittersweet. Last night was the best performance. So much beautiful young energy. It was electric. You could tell the seniors were feeling the moment. After the play I saw some tears shed, the last play of high school.

Billy did a great job. I think he felt a little sad.

I met Billy's new girlfriend. I liked her. She was sweet and cute. Polite. I won't mind him hanging out with her. I think she will appreciate him.

Savanah was a little devastated that this was the last play. She sat through that play 4 times and still loved it. Now my child has been to many plays. She loves them. She has been fortunate to see Broadway productions of Phantom of the Opera, Annie and The Wizard of Oz at the Ordway theater and the Orpheum. She has gone every season to the world renowned Children's Theater in Minneapolis. She is no stranger to the stage. However she told me this, Billy's play was her favorite play ever. Needless to say this was quite the compliment.

Well I have one more "haf-too" this weekend. A "Haf-too" is something that HAS to be done, no way out! Versus a "wan-too" Something you want to do but can be flexible or delayed.

It's been a fun filled hectic beautiful weekend!
Joytobe

Karate Tournament and a Play

This morning Savanah participated in a Karate Tournament. I will post pictures. I was so proud of her! Mostly because she wavered several times about participating. She was scared, really scared. But she faced her fear and did great. She was even a team captain. I was choked up big time!

Tonight is closing night of Billy's play. I am so proud of him also.

After this things should settle down a little.....maybe. Although Billy and some friends are starting a band. WayPoint So there will be practices. uuugggghhhh

Ahhh the incredibly proud and tired Mama,
Joytobe

These are the Days

I am feeling better now. That 3 hour nap and hot shower did wonders for me. Still sick but at least feel human now. Thank you for the well wishes!

Now I really do have something to say. This weekend is FULL of activity. I mean really packed. Dinner tonight with family. Savanah Karate Tournament practice. The play, shuffling Billy to and from after parties. Tomorrow Karate tournament. Then the play all over again. Dinner with family on Sunday for my mom-in-law's b-day. Just Go Go Go.

I was feeling a little sorry for myself (especially with the cold) longing for a quiet empty weekend. Those are great....but

Then I remembered a time about 12 years ago. I was a single parent struggling financially in a brand new town with no friends. I had family that tried to keep me close but I needed to find my own way. They were busy with their own families too.

So Many if not most weekends, it was just me and my Billy. We didn't have extra money so anything that cost money was out of the question. We did have each other. We found fun things to do. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything in the world. But oh how I longed for a complete family. I would often notice families. Mom, Dad, siblings wherever we went. Riding in cars with places to go, people to see. I was very lonely with nowhere to go.

I longed for a partner to share my child's accomplishments and help me carry this burden. God was there for me as I trudged this road seemingly alone. But I longed for a human's care.

I realized today that what I was longing for I now have. I love my husband with all my heart and we face all of life's hardships together. And although this is a busy life I am so completely grateful to have this family of mine. I cherish these times. The kids will be grown someday and then I can have lazy weekends again.

Then without a doubt I will long for these days again.
Joytobe

I Got Nuthin

Good Morning,

I got nothing today. Feeling sick with a wicked cold and a tummy ache! Up a lot last night.

I do have a quick organization tip for today. On Fridays I almost always clean out my purse, my wallet and my car. It takes a total of fifteen minutes because I do this almost every Friday.

When I say I clean out my car I am not talking detailed cleaning, no vacuuming. I mean just get out all the junk that has accumulated over the week.

Like office day...if you do this every week it will only take minutes.

Alrighty, going back to bed! Need to feel better by tonight or at least tolerable. The last two nights of Billy's play are today and tomorrow.

Just a reminder, Play time is 7:30 in the Zabee theater. $6 for adults, $4 for students and seniors.

Hey also, when you are sick take care of yourself. Listen to what your body needs. I am!

Night Night,
Joytobe

Self Help

I have always LOVED self help books. I always gravitate to that section in any bookstore or library. I have read many always searching for the key to happiness. My personal favorite is "How to Be Your Own Best Friend" by Mildred Newman and her husband Bernard Berkowitz. This is an amazing book. It is a small book and easy to read. It is a little old fashioned and you have to look past it when it talks about house wives and such. It also contains one paragraph that speaks of homosexuality as if it is a disease. Both of these chap my hide, but please skim over that part and look at the heart of the book. Making your own happiness as a choice.

I found out my key to happiness is not creating grand expectations in my mind, instead flowing and living in the moment. Also feeling accomplishment in everyday tasks. (Yeah well I also take antidepressants. I have suffered with genetic depression in the past.) Also the realization that I am not going to be happy all the time nor should I strive for that. Shit happens and it is okay to feel bad......sometimes.....for a good reason.

All of this here was to tell you....... I went to a bookstore the other day. The self help section was calling me to it. When I got there...I determined I don't need anymore help!!

What a relief!!

So I bought a romance novel instead. I am not implying here that I need help with romance!

Joytobe

My Favorite Rock

I am a rock hound. I have passed this love on to my children. I love looking at rocks trying to find unusual and beautiful rocks. It is like a treasure hunt.

My favorite rock doesn't look like much from the outside. (Please do notice my bowl of oatmeal)







In fact it is quite dull. It looks like nothing special. This rock sits on my desk. The beauty of this rock has to be found on the inside.











oooohhhhh aaaaaahhhhhhhh. This is really a beautiful rock. Too bad my photography skills can't show it off. But you get the idea.


A great reminder to look on the inside of others to find their true beauty.


It also reminds me to take a second look at every situation. Pick up a situation in your hands, feel it, turn it around. Look at it from every angle. If you still can't find the answer, crack it open! Look at things from a new perspective and you may find the unexpected sparkle.


Ode to the Geode,

Joytobe

Tip For Tuesday

Hey there,

I have decided I am going to try to give my tip of the week always on Tuesday. That way I could come up with the cheesy name Tip For Tuesday! Fun Fun Now don't expect this to be rocket science here or you will be disappointed.

Anyways my tip for this week involves cleaning wipes like the one pictured here.

I have found that when you start getting towards the end of the bottle the wipes are too wet. Just really soaked. Take about 6 paper towels folded four times. Pull out the wipes. Set the paper towels at the bottom put the wipes back in. Then when you pull out a wipe if it is too wet squeeze the excess liquid back into the container. Now you have made some additional wipes at the bottom.

Look for next weeks Tip For Tuesday!

Joytobe

The Frog Days of Summer

My dearest Savanah has been asking me daily....almost hourly when are we going to see the frogs. Our yard is filled with frogs every summer. Savanah and her friends have been known to catch 30 or so frogs in an evening. The golden rule is that all frogs have to be let go each night before bed. My pajama clad Savanah has been known to name them as she lets them go with a kiss and a tear. It is almost as if she is bestowing on them a blessing before letting them into the wild of the night.

Well tis the season.

My neighbor came knocking on the door, 11 year old Jenny. Savanah wasn't home from school yet. She brought Savanah a toad she found in the yard. How sweet is that! She said she knew Savanah would be excited. So Jenny and I put it in Savanah's frog habitat.

So with this photo I do hereby declare Frog Season open. May your croaks be loud, your warts be numerous and flies aplenty!

Joytobe

Diet Dreams

Okay so for about two weeks I have been actively dieting and exercising. You know I have to put my swimsuit on in about a month and a half. yikes.

My hubby is dieting too. Looking at all the labels of everything, fat content, calories. Watching our portions. We have both noticed that we are starving ALL of the time. It seems like I can't get full! I am thinking of food all the time.

Apparently even in my sleep.

I go to bed fairly early 9:30 or 10:00. While hubby is a night owl and comes to bed about an hour or more after me. Many times when he comes to bed I talk to him in my sleep. just mumbling. Usually he can't understand what I am saying.

Last night when he came to bed clear as day with a big grin on my face I said, "I'm gonna eat you!" I suppose I was dreaming about a huge block of cheese as that is my favorite food ever.

ggrrrrr (that is my tummy growling)
Joytobe

THE PLAY

The play was fantastic! They all did such a good job. Billy got a couple of great laughs! The singing was awesome.

I just can't put into words how proud I am!

hmm basking in the sunshine.
Joytobe

Two Very Exciting Things

There are two very exciting things happening today!

First and foremost, Billy's play.....Opening Night is tonight! I am so excited and nervous for Billy. He is the second one on the stage! WoW! That's all I have to say!

Savanah's playset is being delivered and set up today. She has no idea! Well she knows we bought it but doesn't know today is the day. It should be just about finished when she gets off the bus! I can't wait to see her face!

Answer to yesterday's trivia : "My low self esteem is at an all time high." That quote is from Transformers 2. I really like that movie!

Good Times for sure.

Holding my breath for Billy,
Joytobe

Stripes Mid Life Crisis

So I got my hair done yesterday. A new do. I think maybe I am having a mid life crisis. (not a Tiger Woods or Jesse James type mid life crisis) This crisis doesn't involve sex just my low self-esteem. Then again that is probably the reason for every mid life crisis. I guess just the outcomes are different.

The low self esteem stems from weight gain, gray hair, a connective tissue flare and my nose! Allow me to explain.

This January I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from my nose. Now as far as cancer goes this is the one to have without a doubt. It doesn't spread to other parts of the body. So I truly am grateful for that. However, because it became infected it left an ugly scar. (it is probably much worse in my mind than reality.) I am not extremely vain but for awhile now I have felt like everyone is staring at my nose.

The infection lead to a Connective Tissue Disease flare. Basically when my immune system kicked into high gear to fight the nose infection my body started attacking itself. This caused major joint pain, a nasty rash and over all fatigue. This lasted for about 2 months. Dark days! I really had to fight depression.

Also related to the flare I suddenly got an infection around the lining of my heart, pericarditis. Generally this is not dangerous just painful. Also causing more fatigue.

So finally about mid March things really turned around physically. My energy came back, limited joint pain. yay!

Then I looked in the mirror I had gray hair from my roots about 3 inches long. Yikes I look like a grandma with a jacked up nose. I have gained quite a bit of weight over the last two years. So Now I am a chubby grandma with a jacked up nose.

So over the last few weeks I have been exercising. My energy has increased even further. Not seeing the weight loss yet but I feel great and am headed in the right direction.

Yesterday I decided to do something about the hair. I'll be turning 39 this year so it is now or never on the dramatic hair. I didn't want it to look "natural" I wanted it to look funky. What better way to get people to stop staring at my nose. They will be staring at my hair!

So I got stripes!

Now this is pretty dramatic for me. It looks more dramatic than the picture really shows. I like it a lot! Just the pick me up I needed.

Now.... "my low self esteem is at an all time high." Trivia, what movie is that quote from?

Sincerely Zebra,

Joytobe

Small-ish Town DMV....Farmers

Another thing to LOVE about living in a small-ish type town. My town isn't really small. I mean we have a Walmart, Target, Home Depot, Mc Donalds, all of that. But I love how it still has this small town feel. The remnants of days gone by.

The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles). I had to go get new tabs on my car the other day. Walking in you first notice the building is at least 75 years old. It smells old and musty! The old brick walls are painted light pink! There are maybe 8 people who work here. Nice as could be people. The counter is only big enough to help 4 people at a time. And this is the busiest I have ever seen it here!!

As I listened to their conversation I soon realized these three polite dirty good ole boys were farmers. And better yet they all knew each other. This is priceless I thought as I quietly grabbed my cell phone to take a picture!

I have spent grueling hours waiting at the DMV in the big city near me and in LA, California. But honest to God this was the best people watching ever. I was a little sad when the moment was over. I was helped and out the door within 5 minutes.

I am a lucky lady to live amongst these people!

Joytobe

My Young-Man-Son

This week Billy will be in the high school play, "Lady Pirates". Click on the photo above to see Billy circled.

The play runs this Friday April 23rd and Saturday April 24th. Next Week Friday April 30th, and Saturday May 1st. The play starts at 7:30 pm. Ticket prices are $6 for adults and $4 for seniors/students.

These kids including Billy have worked so hard.

I am incredibly proud. No doubt I'll be crying during the curtain call!

Joytobe

It Has Happened

Good Morning



I have read in several books and articles that children at the age of six act on their impulses without the aid of a conscience. They are guided by consequence and expectations instead of their own sense of responsibility. In fact in most courts of law children under the age of seven are rarely prosecuted or held responsible for their actions even in the most extreme crimes.



The fear of getting caught is a strong deterrent versus a true understanding of right and wrong.



For some reason at the age of seven the light bulb goes on and children gain empathy and understanding.



I am proud and very pleased to say that this change has suddenly occurred with my seven year old.



Last night I was cuddling with her as I put her to bed. She says, "Did you ever do something...(pause)....then wish you hadn't?" I answered, "Yes I have. Everyone has made mistakes." She asked, "But what is that feeling you have?" I said, "Regret". She paused a few moments as we cuddled.



She asked me what I regretted. I told her when I get too angry and say something that may hurt someone else's feelings, I regret that. When I raise my voice at her, I regret that. I gave her a few other examples. She nodded her head in agreement understanding what I was saying.





Then she looked me in the eye and softly she said, "You know the small shovel you use to plant things?" I said , "Yes".

She said, "I was trying to dig up a rock and I bent it. Then I tried to bend it back but couldn't. I'm sorry."



I accepted her apology immediately. Thanked her for telling me. Then breathed a big sigh of relief. She has it. It reinforces my confidence in our parenting.



I am so proud of her.

Joytobe

A Keeper Quote

My sweet girl tickled my heart this morning with this quote.

"It's like today is everything I wished for." --Savanah

I am so happy she has found her joy in life.

Make today everything you wished for.
Smiling
Joytobe

My BOX

I made a box. Well Jeff and I made a box. A planter box that is. Yay!!!!!! We aren't too handy with tools so this was quite the accomplishment. Now I have to fill it with dirt and plant!

Joytobe

Tip of the Week and Patches Update

Good Morning,

I have decided to try a new thing on my blog, called "Tip of the Week". Now I can't get credit for a lot of tips I may give because they originated from an other's ingenuity. Although some of them are my brilliance. ;) My husband often says "Huh? What made you think of doing that?" He had this idea for my blog. He said something along the lines of "Other people might like to know this stuff." So Okay here goes.

"Tip of the Week"

Every spring I find that the pants my daughter has been wearing all school year are now too short or are looking a little ragged, holes in the knees or stains. The ones that are too tight around the waist go to Goodwill or the garage sale pile.

But the ones that are too short I cut into capris or shorts. Without a sewing machine I stitch in a little hem to keep them from fraying. They look cute and it cuts down on the cost of summer clothes.

If they just have holes in the knees, I might patch them with sewn on upholstery samples (awesome patches, don't come off, don't wear out). My sister Brenda showed my how to do this.

If they are also stained I may cut them to make play shorts for summer. See my daughter spends 95% of the summer dirty, muddy, grass stained and wet! With these already stained clothes I don't get upset with her.

I keep maybe five new cute summer outfits clean and tucked away for the needed occasion. But the rest are play clothes that she should get as dirty as she can!! And she does.

If you want to know more about my need for patches or how this upholstery patches idea came about read the following previous posts.

Patches
http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/04/patches.html


And An Incredibly Great Idea
http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/04/incredibly-great-idea.html

Recycling and Reusing is great fun!

Joytobe

My Favorite Sign

Ah My favorite sign in the whole world.

On my way home I pass a stop sign. Not my favorite. Well I don't pass it... I stop first, give the appropriate right of ways and then I move forward.

The next beautiful sign I see is this sign. The actual beauty of this sign is that if you continue on this road you will not see another speed limit sign for 1.6 miles. That is the joy of living in a smallish town.

Seeing this sign is like being released from all restrictions. The burden of rules being lifted from your shoulders. Lawlessness like the old west. Or the reckless abandon of nature before man. Go... Fly...Be free...Zoom. This is how I feel when I see this sign. I sense the other drivers near me feel this too. Because suddenly all the cars I see almost lurch forward in excitement to gain access to this freedom. As a mischievous smile spreads across the driver's face. Oh what a euphoric feeling.

Unfortunately for me the turn off toward my home is .3 miles past this beloved sign. So every time I come home I am allotted exactly 20 seconds of freedom per day. I know this because I timed it.

Occasionally however, I take on my devil-may-care attitude and blow right past my turn off. Goodness just unruly. I roll down my window, turn Journey on real loud and become a rebellious Mama.

hhmmmm

Joytobe

Earthworms And a Happy Birthday Brother

My kindhearted daughter loves all of Gods creatures. Okay well except for things that sting you.


At Christmas she was given a small child video camera. She recently took this camera out to explore nature. She was disappointed at how difficult it was to video tape Canadian geese. Later that day she triumphantly told me it was much easier to video tape earthworms.


Savanah has always liked earthworms since she was a toddler. She has a cool albeit strange empathy for their plight when they are stuck on pavement and beginning to dry out. She cannot leave one there to shrivel up. So she saves them. Many mornings on the way to the bus stop she is grabbing as many as fast as she can and throwing them in the grass.


So suddenly today on my walk I noticed all of these poor helpless stupid earthworms. I mean if you need moisture why would you slither onto a dry sidewalk? Then me heart strings were pulled and God help me I started picking them up! My walk is a fast paced two mile walk! I thought well I just won't look down. But looking straight ahead made me think of them being smashed on the bottom of my shoe. I saved several earthworms and then just started dodging them.


Watch out this affliction apparently is contagious.

Wishing my brother, Scotty, a very Happy Birthday. This day is my day to say, I am thankful you were born and I celebrate that day as I celebrate you!

Joytobe

That Peaceful Easy Feeling.....NOT

Okay so remember that beautiful post a mere hour ago about the beauty of THIS day.


Yeah well it's GONE. SO Gone. That peaceful easy feeling about the promise of the day was a bunch of BS!!!!!


After perusing my house I was pleased with the amount of housework there was to do. Not bad certainly do-able. Even the dirty clothes pile looked manageable. Then I checked my son's room (gasp), then I checked my daughter's room (gasp) and lastly my husband's side of the bed (gasp).


And this is the pile of crap, I mean dirty clothes that I found. They all know there is a place for dirty clothes and towels. Yet I found NINE towels on my son's floor!!!!! They are all damn lucky they are not home and that by the time everyone gets home my raging boiling anger will have simmered.

Actually with all of this said, I still feel pretty good about the day just not good about the laundry.

So this is what I mean about my system of organization not being perfect. However, the laundry machines are going and I know I can handle one load at a time to get the job done.

Taking deep breaths, Going for a walk.

Joytobe

Aaahhh The begining of a GREAT DAY!

Woke up to a gentle thunderstorm. aaaahhhh

Woke up to NO PAIN. aaaahhhh

The bus just left. aaaahhhh

Eating warm cozy maple oatmeal. aaaahhhh

Don't have anywhere to go until 6:00 tonight. aaaahhhh

Lots to do at home today....Have a plan. yay!

Savanah graduates to blue belt today. yay!

Parenthood is on tonight. yay!

Glee is on tonight. yay!

American Idol is on tonight. yay!

OH Yeah Bay-by! Bouncing in my chair as I write. Big smiles.

All lite up,
Joytobe

One of Those Nights

Did you ever have one of those nights? You know the one where you fall asleep okay but awaken at 2:30 am to the spinning of your brain cells. Chanting over and over again all of the things you have to do tomorrow. Dr Appointment, call to schedule kids dentist appointment, Karate, fill out tournament forms, pay for graduation, pick up neighbor, call vet for vaccinations appointment, blah, blah, blah. Try as you might you cannot release this list. Over and over.

Dummy me could have just gotten up and written it all down. Then I probably would have been able to go back to sleep knowing that I wouldn't forget something tomorrow. Because I caught all these thoughts and got them out of my head and onto paper.

Nope not me. I struggled through 2 hours of this. Then just as I was drifting off to sleep. I hear Mommy. Did I really hear Mommy maybe I'm already dreaming. uh oh Mommy again. By the third Mommy I drug myself out of bed to attend to a sore legged little girl. Took care of that. Went back to bed to find......

Oh no the list started over again. another hour of sleep wasted.

So I am dragging through my day just counting the hours til bedtime tonight.
Maybe, just maybe I can squeeze an itty bitty nap in here today. That would be lovely.

Here's to dreamin.
Joytobe

Pamaism

I have decided an occasional feature on my blog will be Pamaisms. What is this you ask?

The Pama part of the word is my grandmother, the wittiest quintessential lady I know.

And officially an "ism" is a distinctive characteristic, behavior or quality.

So a Pamaism will be wonderfully nutty witty quotes from my Pama. Although she has lost much of her short term memory due to small strokes, she is the happiest person I know. Her sense of humor and wit is fully intact. Thankfully she doesn't seem to have the most common form of Alzheimer's. She remembers everyone although gets confused about them. I could visit with her for hours. Then 10 minutes from the time I left someone could ask if she has seen me lately and she would say no.

Most of the time she realizes that she has this affliction and makes light of it. The greatest part of all this is that she is the epitome of "Living in the moment." She enjoys every moment to moment and forgets the moment shortly after it happened.

Don't get me wrong there are definitely sad parts to this story like when she kept forgetting her daughter (my mother) had passed away and kept trying to go see her. A very emotional time when we had to keep telling her over and over, the how and the why. And each time it was as if she was hearing it for the first time. Thankfully it somehow sunk in and she asks about it rarely now.

I aspire to be like my grandmother in many ways. And like her I will choose to focus on the positive in this situation. And hopefully I will follow her example.

So my Pamaism for today is this:

My sister was visiting her and asked Pama if she would like to go see the birds in the aviary. Pama said well I don't have lipstick on. Vivian said, that doesn't matter. Pama said, "Well the birds won't recognize me." as she chuckled.

All my love to you Pama,
Joytobe

Beautiful Saturday

Beautiful Saturdays are difficult days to post. My whole family is home. The day is calling my name. The grill is fired up as we speak. The campfire will be alight in a few hours. The ground is being prepped for planting. You can smell dirt outside. I love the smell of dirt!

Because of the joyous activities outside this is going to be short and sweet. I will fall back on my reliable book of quotes. Enjoy

"English is a funny language. A "fat chance" and a "slim chance" mean the same thing." -unknown

"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."--A. A. Milne

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin

My most recently acquired quote and new weekly favorite:

"When the going gets tough.........Tell me I'm pretty." -unknown

Last one:
"When your gecko is broken, you have reptile dysfunction."- unknown

With that I leave you to go enjoy your evening.
Joytobe

A Very Cool Prophetic Photograph

I took this photo at the St. Louis Zoo last week. They have an awesome zoo. Free to the public with request for donations.

Their hippopotamus pool is fantastic. The hippo's are very active and swim right next to the glass.

This photo has the reflection of Savanah watching the hippos. I didn't notice her reflection at first. It was not taken that way on purpose. I truly believe she will work with animals some day. When she goes to the Mall of America she would rather go to the aquarium, Underwater World, than the amusement park with rides and games.

This photo also conjures up a memory of an adorable 4 year old Savanah standing next to her best buddy, Jud, with both of them singing their loudest and best at the preschool concert.

"H-I-P-P-O

Unfortunately that's all that I know."

hmmm too bad or unfortunate that is all of the song that I remember.

Great memories, Great future,

Joytobe

Welcome to the Nut House

Good Morning,

Today's post is about the sign at my front door. Notice the sign is propped up instead of hanging. The other day as I sat on my front porch the wind knocked it down with a big crash. I jumped about a foot off the ground scared the bejeezus out of me. I really like the word "bejeezus". I like the way it sounds and how it looks all nutty with the two e's and the z. But I worry a little about the origin of the word Bejeezus? I am pretty sure it's some sort of mild slang "four" letter word originating from "Jesus". So I apologize to God and anyone else I have offended.

Warning I am quite certain this post is going off the deep end and I am just along for the ride. Hold on for dear life.

Anyways.....

It is so true. I am really coo coo. I almost wrote "Cocko" hmmm wonder what that word means? Actually I am not that crazy but I am weird. I like control and order but I also like spontaneity and creativity. I like to go with the flow but I also love having a plan. With this strange combination of both sides of a spectrum running through my veins I have learned to cope. You can be totally spontaneous if first you have order. Huh????

Nope it is true. My office can be really messy. I may start to think on Tuesday I should really attend to it. but I want to be creative Tuesday. Well I know Office day is Thursday so that gives me the freedom to create. Also since every Thursday is Office Day, I know it was just last week (last Thursday) that I paid bills and straightening up the office. Today it is only going to take an hour max! So I have time to be creative because I have a routine. huh? again? Please

Okay bad paragraph above. Sum it up in one sentence below.

My Thursday Office Day routine ensures the office is cleaned and bills get paid every week. This routine makes more time for me to be spontaneous and creative. ahhhh and there it is.

Man, if you could hear some of the things I think. Thank God I have a filter.

The different variables of nuttiness in my house that made me relate to this sign are vast. The number of kids entering and exiting. The dirt and muddy clothes entering and exiting. The sounds of my son's head banging music. The dog barking at every leaf that blows outside. The endless lady bugs and box elder bugs my daughter keeps as pets in custard dishes. I could go on and on but I won't.

Just trust me I have a nutty house. Actually we all do just in different ways.

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." - Robin Williams

Today I will go visit my nutty Pama (grandmother). I'll enjoy her lack of short term memory. Don't get me wrong I love her dearly. Which is why I make a game of it. I will count how many times she asks me how old my children are and if I have a picture of them (even though I showed her a picture of them 4 minutes ago). For every time these questions are asked I will take a sip of wine tonight. Man I am going to be hammered!

Enjoy the crazy day. If the day isn't crazy MAKE IT CRAZY!

Joytobe

A Rough Morning

Jupiter is not in my seventh house today or something like that. Did you ever just have one of those mornings? Thankfully they don't happen very often.

It started with a dream, a cool but kind of sad dream. Very vivid, Avatar like except much of the land was pastel colors. Savanah was still my daughter but I was a single parent. Jeff and I had been dating in my dream but we had broken up. Savanah wanted to see him so bad so we went to watch him compete in a seahorse race. The seahorses were huge, pastel colored and didn't swim they flew. Crazy Cool! Much more to the story but that is the gist. I remember most of it too.

Flash forward to alarm time. Today I just barely dragged my butt out of bed. I was crazy tired this morning.

Then Billy is all blah...girl troubles. I have been trying unsuccessfully to cheer him up. As a parent you know you have to watch your kids go through these ups and downs. I am proud of how he handles life but I still worry.

Then I get Savanah up. She is less than thrilled. My daughter takes after her father, a night owl. A night person. I am usually a morning person. The morning holds the promise of the day for me. Well again Savanah is quite the opposite.

Then you know those beautiful patches my sister (I helped) sewed on her holey pants. Well Savanah HATES the way they feel on her pants. She cried this morning real tears all the way to the bus stop. I know if she wears them today they will not bother her. She will get used to them. In fact I bet $20 bucks by the end of the day she may actually like them. She just can hardly stand change.

Oh I just HATE sending my child to the bus stop when she is feeling that way. So I did what any respectable mother would do. I ran out to the bus stop with my bowl of Maple Brown sugar oatmeal with extra brown sugar melted on top. Her tears had already stopped but she still looked a little forlorn. So I gave her the best most sugary bite from my bowl!

I don't know.......is this soothing with food and sweets? Am I setting her up to turn to food whenever she is upset? Well No because this doesn't happen every time she gets upset in fact I am not sure it has ever happened.

And Hey A little extra sweetness can turn anyone's day around. I gave her another hug and kiss and in return I got a little smile. She even chuckled when I grimaced as she transferred some oatmeal from her face to mine! ewwee

Here's to turning my day around!
Joytobe

An Incredibly Great Idea

In St Louis Missouri there is a COOOOOOOL store called "Leftovers, INC.". Unlike any store I have ever seen. It is made exclusively on donations. Donations of things that would go into the trash. Unbelievable. And very hard to explain.



They have everything from empty toilet paper rolls, empty old medicine bottles, floor tiles, old upholstery sample books, carbon paper, tubs full of different puzzle pieces and.........broken egg shells! This one even shocked me.



Then they have a table full of finished craft projects showing you exactly what you can do with all of these things. Savanah's creative juices started flowing BIG time.



When you walk in you get a normal size grocery bag and can fill it for $4 to $7. When you check out they weigh your bag. They get grants to supplement the store by showing how much weight has been kept out of a landfill.



I found a great treasure!!! Upholstery books with cute thick material for patches on Savanah's pants!!!! Yay! This place is full of great ideas for scrapbooking.



The neat thing about this store is that teachers shop for free! This is one of the best ideas I have heard of in a long time.



I will post pictures of my treasure and what I have done with them.



Creativity Overload,

Joytobe

Almost Unavailable

I have been having a great time the last few days with family. Because of this I have had little time to write.

So I will bestow upon you some of my favorite quotes. Think on them. Drink them in. And laugh a little. or a lot.

"An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh." -unknown

"I could have eaten Alphabits and crapped a better excuse than that." -unknown

"I saw a TV commercial that said, "KISS YOUR HEMORRHOIDS GOODBYE" -NOT EVEN IF I COULD!" -unknown

"I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar!!" -unknown

Enjoy these little gems as I have.
Happy Easter Eve
Joytobe

Patches

My daughter is a wild animal. Well not exactly but she would like to be. She often has told me she wishes she was a wolf. Wolves are definitely her favorite animal. Her imagination is boundless. I have never known a child with her capacity for role play.

In fact when she was 4 years old I was a little concerned. While driving in the car I heard her having a four person conversation. I was curious about this because I had forgotten to bring any toys with us. I looked back to see her playing with her fingers. Four of her fingers had different personalities and different voices. There was an elaborate conversation happening between them. In fact a conflict and argument. The most amazing part was they all had names and she was keeping track of them all.

About this time she had her 4 year check up. I asked her doctor about this. I even asked if I should be concerned. "Could a child have too much imagination?" "I mean are we talking split personalities?" He laughed at/with me. He said as long as she wasn't answering me with different voices we were okay. As long as her conversations with me were set in reality it was okay. In fact it was great!

I wondered then if maybe she would be an actress some day. Through the years this role play has continued. It has changed in that now it all revolves around animals. Her desire for knowledge about animals is insatiable. Any book or Discovery channel show she sees she sucks it in like a sponge. Without a doubt she has found her passion in animals. The Zoo is one of her favorite places.

Wow lots of information about "Patches". Believe it or not this post was supposed to be about patches for pants. Pretending to be an animal has caused holes in the right knee of all of my child's pants. I mean all of them. They all still fit but are holey. So my child looks like a vagabond because I refuse to buy new pants if these still fit. I have looked at craft stores for patches but they are all old fashioned and ugly. If you iron them on they stay on through maybe two washes.



I don't want to stop this creative play but Shoot I am not made of money to buy new pants every week.

So my dear very creative sister, Brenda, I take this dilemma to you. I am sure you will have a fantastic solution. Pressures on now.

Help my imaginative child and my wallet.
Joytobe

A Really Nice Day

It is going to be a beautiful day. We are going to the zoo! yay.

I have some big I mean BIG gardening plans this spring. The work will start in April with planting occurring in mid to late May. A real Garden. I am nervous but excited. I'm gonna rip up some of my perfectly good yard. yikes. My plans will be revealed next week but it involves geometric shapes and power tools.

Be afraid neighbors. Be very afraid.

Gotta go feel the day!!
Joytobe