Pumpkin Patch Farm - Sacred Ground

Oh how I love fall. This is one of my favorite parts. Going to the farm to get pumpkins. We spend hours at the farm. The animals are so adorable and sweet. We laugh and play. I love these moments as a family. I wouldn't trade these times for anything!

The first little cutie we see is Archie. He is a sweet old cat who spends all of his time with his eyes closed. I think I have seen his eyes but I am not sure. Savanah spends quite a bit of time with Archie. She loves cats but Daddy is allergic to them!

Then we head over to the baby chickens. I am sure the chickens just love the scent of cat on Savanah's hands. That is assuming chickens can smell?

Then it is on to the beautiful sweet baby goats. These are Savanah's favorites! They flock to her too. They are precious!

She holds them forever. They never seem to mind.

Then Jeff and my favorite. The baby cows! Oh Have you ever seen such cuteness? They love to have their necks scratched and rubbed. This one was a licker. His/her tongue was really rough!

This little baby cow adored Jeff. It just kinda rested it's head in Jeff's hands. Oh I want one!!

Then the kids and Jeff begin a friendly game of teether ball while I snap photo's. They have a blast. They also have many brain altering near misses where I gasp. Watching someone move their head just in time to not get a concussion!

This picture shows my point exactly. They have so much fun and I just savor every moment!

More Teether ball!



Eventually we pick out our pumpkins.

Now on to why this place is sacred ground. Our second year visiting ( 5 years ago) this farm misfortune occurred. During a friendly game of teether ball the unthinkable happened.

While hitting the ball, my honey's wedding ring flew off of his finger! It landed somewhere in the grassy, leaf covered field. The farmer, his wife and many visitors were with us on their hands and knees looking for it. We ran into the small town and rented a metal detector. We looked for hours and never found that ring. Jeff was devastated. He said he could never go back there without thinking of his lost ring.

Eventually I convinced him that for this specific reason, we had to go back every year! This is precious ground. I spend a few minutes each year looking down in the area of the lost ring hoping to see the shimmer of gold. No luck this year.

Maybe next year!

Joytobe

I Love My Husband So Much

I shared my last post with my husband. He encouraged me to n0t give up. He told me I have an interesting way of looking at things. He really seems to like the way I express myself in my writing. He said I have talent.

He also told me that the book I wrote was not a waste of time. I needed to write it as a sort of self help therapy. I suppose he is right. It was painful to write.

Even after he said all of that I was still feeling sad and defeated.

Last night he bestowed on me a gift. This gift came as a challenge. Two challenges actually. First after the beginning of the year he wants me to take a creative writing class. He wants me to learn everything I can about writing.

He then challenged me to write again. Write about something completely different from myself. A character who is NOT me at all. A situation I have never been in before. A setting, a place I have never been. He also asked me to start making LISTS. Can you believe that? I love LISTS!!! This is a man after my own heart! Oh Yeah...he already has my heart. Lists of places that intrigue me. Places I have been and have not been that I would really like to go. Characters I know or have never met that I find interesting and completely opposite of me. Professions that are interesting to me. Special human interest stories that I have heard that moved me. "CHILE MINERS" etc.

Then maybe put all of this on a poster board and start thinking through different possibilities, different combinations. Holy cow, doesn't that all sound like fun!!!

I love him so much because he knows me so well. He knew I needed to move forward. He knew I needed "a plan" and "to plan". He knew I needed a new way to look at things. He knew how I would react to a challenge.

The point to all of this is.....he doesn't want me to give up. And now I don't want to give up.

He believes in me.
Joytobe

I want to thank everyone who read portions of my story. Your feedback and encouragement has meant so much to me. I am not going to throw it out. But I'm putting it away. Maybe I will revisit it in a couple of years when my skill has hopefully improved. Then again maybe not. Maybe the story needs to be written and read once.

A Book and A Dream

I had a dream to write a book. A novel. So I wrote it. Dream accomplished? Yes but there was more to the dream. I wanted the book to be good enough to publish. I wanted it to be published.

Well......

I finished the basics on the book about a month ago. As my brother suggested I then let it sit for a few weeks before I read it again.

So I just read it and....well.....it's not very good. I am sad. Something is missing. I tried really hard. I worked hard. I poured my heart into it. So instead of saying I think I could write a good book someday but I don't have time. Now I took the time, I did give it my best shot and I wrote a not good book.

I don't have "IT". Unless I have it hidden somewhere? and someone can show me what I have done wrong.

Coming to terms with a dream come true and a dream lost.
Joytobe

Wondering? now what?

No post Saturday

Have a beautiful day!

"Every word I say by definition is a promise." -Marlon Brando The Freshmen

The Basement

Okay so we are thinking of fixing up our basement. Not really finishing it exactly but setting it up a little for the kids. Kids meaning little kids and teenagers.

Lately we have been having a lot of Billy's friends over on Friday nights. It is kind of like a party at first them all hanging out, talking, playing the guitar and piano. Then it turns into movie night. Someone rents a movie every Friday. They have a great time. This gives them something to do, keeps them out of trouble and I know where my son is! Sounds like a win win, right?

It is but they take over my family room. I've got no where to hang out and enjoy my Friday night. So we have been looking at couches to put in the basement. We have an extra TV for down there. Thought we could set up the PS3 too. We have a large air hockey table too.

The dilemma I am having is in the basement they are less supervised. Makes me nervous.

What do you think? Struggling with this one. How often can I take a trip down in the basement without being a pain in the butt but keep teen pregnancy rates down!? Just kidding. I think?

Charting New Territory,
Joytobe

Office Day / Flu Shot Day / Random Day

This post is just a collection of junk floating around in my head. You've been warned!

Today is Office Day. I am rededicating myself to this procedure. It really does help keep the paper clutter out of my office and my house. But Holy Crap I have been going at it for 1 hour and 45 minutes. Sheeez. (I like the word Sheeez, almost as much as pppffff) Still not done.

Usually this takes me 30 minutes. Every Thursday to go through the weeks mail. Pay bills and recycle old magazines and such. Do some filing. Well not today. See I told you I am behind in EVERYTHING!

At least no bills were paid late. One, however, was paid ON the due date. Whew, that was close! I hate that.

Soon I will have to go pick up the kiddos for their flu shots. I hate seeing my kids get shots. Once when Billy was younger, they drew blood with a pin prick. He passed out! I gotta tell you though I would rather they take a vial of blood from my arm that prick my finger. Every once in a while with that pin prick they hit some weird nerve and OMG it hurts soooo bad.

Well Back to the grind.

Hopefully tomorrow's post will have a little more substance! Sheez again. Oops I meant pppfff.
Joytobe

A Day Behind

I am officially one day behind. I often type up a post for tomorrow, today. That didn't make sense. What I post today I often wrote yesterday. Yeah still not really making sense.

Well anyways. Look for something interesting (hopefully) from me later today.

I stink! It's a good thing you can't smell through the internet.
Gotta go shower!
Joytobe

Emergency 15 minute Procedure

Beep Beep Beep This not a test!!!!

I am initiating the Emergency 15 Minute Procedure because yesterday Mama had a meltdown.
Those of you who know me from facebook already know this by my status updates yesterday. For those who are not facebook friendly with me, here is what I posted at different intervals during the day.

I am a little overwhelmed.
"Sanity is a cozy lie." -Susan Sontag The perfect quote for my day.
"I just don't have time for the nervous breakdown I so deserve." - unknown

So what happened yesterday well...... I damn near had a panic attack. I had the sudden sensation that I had forgotten something important, there was too much to do and I had a strong feeling of impending doom.

Well after some reflection, meditation and medication! I came to a conclusion. I have not been organizing my calendar or my days lately. In fact I had not looked at my calendar for days! What I was feeling was chaos. See Flylady. (I'm not going back to being a Fly gal but I do LOVE some of her ideas and use them often.)

So today instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, (not sure that is an image I should start my day with) I have gone back to a list. I will work on everything on this list for 15 minutes then check it off. You would be amazed at how much you can get done in 15 minutes. I am quite literally wearing my timer today.

It feels good. I feel in control again. You should try it.

Gotta go timer went off!

Breathing Easy Again
Joytobe

Late Post

Look for a late post from me later today!

My Baby Boy Turns 16

My Baby bootie boy turns 16 today. At 5:32 pm. How can that be so?

It doesn't seem possible.

Just yesterday you were in middle school struggling with the awkwardness of adolescence. Finding yourself yet remaining true to yourself.

And the day before that you were in elementary school still playing games. Still innocent. Feeling the magic and wonderment of childhood.

A week ago you were babbling as an inquisitive toddler exploring your boundaries. Always smiling and happy.

And a week and a day ago you were just a babe in my arms. I sat holding you dreaming of all you would become and at the same time wishing I could stop time and keep you in my arms forever.

Through all of this you have kept your positive attitude, your willingness to participate in life and be fully engaged. You have never shied away from the opportunity to laugh at yourself. You have a glow about you. Billy, You shine. Everyone around you sees it. There are those who may be jealous of that. And yet others including myself who just want to watch you soar.


And now you are a young man searching out your way in this world. Oh, you still need me from time to time mostly just to listen. I've bitten off my tongue several times fighting the urge to give my strong opinions. Some days I win that battle and often I do not. Sometimes you and I disagree but I still have great respect for you. I believe you respect me as well.

Watching you feel heartache has been the biggest challenge for me. I can no longer just "Kiss the boo boo and make it better"(your favorite book when you were 1).

But even in the deepest pain you have always handled yourself with dignity and kindness. You are not and have never been careless where others' feelings are concerned. That may be the very thing I am most proud of you for.

You are everything and more that I dreamt of while holding you as that small baby.

I love you!
Mommy

Now get an icepack to bring down the swelling of your head. You are not perfect! lol

Oberg Mountain Trail

The Superior National Forest beholds this ruby.

THE OBERG MOUNTAIN TRAIL

This is an easy hike beginning with an elevation of 1220 feet above sea level and peaking at an elevation of 1539 above sea level. It is a gradual climb. At the summit there are several grand amazing views. It is a loop so eventually you end up where you started. (You can't get lost!) The trail is 2.3 total miles.



Something magical happens when my family enters this trail. It is like they are sprinkled with fairy dust and suddenly become angelic and well behaved!





Even the teenager is caught up in the magic. It is contagious.




Proof is in this picture. Do you see how tightly I am holding Billy around the waist? It is not often you get this opportunity to stand so close to your teenager and them willingly except it!! Truth be told, he was trying to give that casual "I'm a cool teenager, too cool to really smile" smile. So I was tickling him. It worked!

See Savanah's smile. She was more like, "Let go of me! I'm on an adventure!"

See the happy faces. Besides the stranger in the blue shirt. oops sorry lady!

Ahh

AWE they are making a heart with their hands. Isn't that sweet? I swear by the Oberg Magic.

Love it!

The magical dust does eventually wear off. Just about the time we start heading down hill again someone realizes they have to pee. And EVERYONE (except mom) is sick of mom taking pictures. Then it is time to go.

I highly recommend this hike. If you can walk you should go!

Joytobe

That is the last of the vacation pictures. I promise. Well maybe I think so.

No Post Sunday

Have a beautiful day!

"Family is like a pecan pie. Something sweet holding all the nuts together." - unknown

No post Saturday

Love the Day!

"Life: It's all about how you handle Plan B" -unknown

A Room with a View

We have been going up to Lutsen in the fall for 10 years now. We have stayed several places. But Bluefin Bay is by far my favorite. The reason I love Bluefin Bay?


This is the view from my bed. Literally you can see the sheets at the bottom of the picture. How could you not love waking up to that?



Savanah loves the seagulls and feeds them causing quite a commotion.

What are you looking at? I don't have the food. Look for the little girl in the green jacket!

From the back porch. Hello there birdie.

A fight!

Soaring at the balcony. Catching food in mid air.

Oh Yeah the birds love Savanah!



Aaaahhhh waking up to the sound of waves.

The deck again. solitude.

Need I say more?

Joytobe

Wherever 5 or More Are Gathered

I know that this saying implies a biblical theme but this post is not of a biblical nature.

It has everything to do with my personal characteristics. You see I am "high strung". Not to be confused with high maintenance. I am not overly concerned with vanity or material objects. I mean I like to look pretty and I like nice things but..... I am not consumed with them.

I digress.

I am high strung. You see I have an anxious nature. I like children, they can be so darn cute! Funny, sweet, energetic.

However, I have a mental condition which causes me to panic when there are 5 or more children (of any age, teenagers included) in a room, more exaggerated if they are in a room in my house!!

You see...this is how I see it.

When you have two kids in the same room, they are playing nicely, sharing, resolving conflict, enjoying each other's company, etc.

Now add one more to the mix. A total of 3. Still okay. Maybe some power struggles, a little pairing up occurs leaving one child out. By hey it's manageable.

Add another for a total of four. Voices are louder, more kinetic energy, a little more whinny but still possible to control.

Add another with a total of 5 kids, CHAOS REIGNS!

I have seen this in my own home.

Four kids are playing, coloring quietly. It begins. I see the dog sit up suddenly from her peaceful slumber. Her ears are erect. She hears something. I become more alert. The children are still unaware of the lurking danger.

Then a little growl from the dog. She is warning me. Then the dreaded doorbell. I see the children all jump from their seated positions and in a split second become 4 enormous ball of energy and light running towards the door with the barking dog following at as breakneck pace. I run through the kitchen trying to head them off and take care of the mounting problem.

Another child stands eagerly at my door. "Hi, Can Savanah play?" Well I've got four sets of little human eyeballs poking from every direction behind me. I can't say no it is obvious she is already playing.

(Any of you neighbors/parents who may be reading this, please note the following. It is not any one child that I will ever try to exclude. It will rotate on a first come - first serve basis. It is not an issue of who is at the door. It is an issue with how many are already inside.)

I hem and haw trying to come up with something. The light bulb goes off. "You know honey, I was just about to send them outside to play. How about they finish their game, clean up their messes and meet you outside?" This sounds reasonable to me. I hear back a sheepish, "Okay". Then the child (all of them do this) just stands there. This is the true test. Whatever you do don't look them in the eyes at this moment. Oh no I feel bad, so so bad. I failed the test.

And there they are: the cutest sweetest big sad puppy dog eyes just staring at me.

Oh Lordy, I'm a goner. "Okay honey you can come in just for a few minutes, then everybody goes outside." A sweet smile spreads across the child's face.

As that child steps in to my home those happy bright eyes start to glow red. Then I see the most awful frightening transformation occur in all 5 children.

They are transformed or maybe abducted by the body snatchers and replaced with Freddy Kruger Tasmanian Devils. It is what horror movies and my nightmares are made of.

I run towards my bedroom the dog keeping pace at my side. As I dive in and lock the door I hear the evil screeching and laughter just outside my door.

"I'll get you my pretty." I hear.

Huh did they just say pretty? Okay so maybe I am a little vain. Don't fall for that sweetness. They are out to get me. I stay there until my dragon slayer white shinning knight husband returns home to banish the demons!!!! Until tomorrow!

Yeah I told you never let 5 or more children into your home. It makes you delusional and just down right insane!
Joytobe

Okay on a side note: my husband just read this and said "You're a little paranoid." So I want to make it abundantly clear this is a funny rendition not even remotely true except in my imagination! It is fiction mostly! This does not happen in my home. I am not NUTS.

Don't answer the door to the men in white coats!

More from the North

Lutsen Lodge. One of our favorite places to go. We eat breakfast here often. Awesome eggs benedict. Great breakfast buffet.

The inside of Lutsen Lodge. Cozy

After breakfast we go play. This bridge straddles a wonderful creek that brings agates down to the shore. Savanah and I spend hours on this shore rock hunting.

Billy skips rocks. He is the master skipper. That is a lollipop in his mouth!

This is what my honey does!!

Everybody is happy!

Joytobe

I'll put up another set of photos in a day or two. Is this the equivalent of our parent's watching a person's slide show of their vacation? Is it boring? Oh well I don't think so!

Trust

I am having a hard time with trust. Well trusting a teenager. My teenager. Now he has made a few mistakes lately. Nothing life altering but pretty drastic especially for him. I am afraid this is just the beginning of the trouble he is heading towards.

Much of this I fear is happening because of a girl. I want to give this girl a chance but.....she is not making it easy.

Now I know Billy is in charge of his own actions, should be held accountable and suffer the consequences. But I also know he has never felt this way about a girl.

IT SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME!

I am noticing a rebellious tone to his voice and more rolling of the eyes. He is carrying around a new angst!

According to him she is constantly saying she is ugly or fat. That he is too good for her. So basically this girl has zero self esteem. She is needing Billy to constantly build her up and tell her how great she is. I know this because I eavesdrop! It is a mother's right, you know? Hey, if you are in ear shot I am going to listen.

The other day they had a...I don't know.......disagreement. She is very dramatic. And well he said to me. "I just want to keep this between her and I."

"WHAT?"

I want to trust him to work this out. I really do. But I don't trust her.

Now I also remember slightly from my teenage years if you push a teenager too much they will do just the opposite of what you want them to do. So you sit quietly and intently, watching every move made ready to intervene at lightening speed before things get out of hand. So If I am patient this relationship may end on its own. ? Right?

Billy, I feel for this girl but truth be told, you are too good for her!

Billy forgive me but I am hoping this relationship ends quickly and painlessly.

The Momma bear on prozac protecting her cub!

Aint No Words Good Enough

There are just no adequate words to explain the Lake Superior north shore in Minnesota in autumn.

So I'll just show you.

I cried.

I cried about five times a day. Not like sobbing but a lump in my throat, tears in my eyes. Happy tears.

The scenery taking my breath away. My family enjoying each other without the pressures and responsibilities of everyday life.

The smell of fallen leaves. The crisp air. The laughter.

I wish I could have bottled up this day, this feeling and bring it home with me. I'll carry these memories with me forever and the memories will sustain me until I return next year.

The word I would use to describe how I feel when I am there is

Peace

Joyful

Joytobe

I'll post more pictures in a few days!

No Post Sunday

Here is a good one.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." --Eleanor Roosevelt

No Post Saturday

Have a great day!

"If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood." --unknown

HIATUS Day 2

Yeah for me!!



"Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value." -Albert Einstein



"Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day lying in hospitals dying of nothing." - unknown

HIATUS Day 1

I am taking a couple of days hiatus. Yeah for me. Too bad for you.

Enjoy the quotes.

"If you don't have a sense of humor, you don't have any sense at all." --unknown

"Time's fun when you're having flies." --Kermit the Frog

September 29, 2001

I love you honey!

You are the calm to my worry.

You are the reasoning to my crazy.

You are the encouragement to my insecurity.

You are the foundation to my home.

You are the laughter to my humor.

You are the shoulder to my tears.

You are the plan to my dreams.

You are the vibrancy to my days.

You are the absolute to my forever.

You are the everything to my world.

Happy Anniversary

I love you!

Joyce


On a humorous side note: Dang I should write hallmark cards!

The Proposal

Okay so we did everything backwards. We moved in together before we were married. Talked of getting married. Picked a date and started wedding planning before the proposal.

Started trying to conceive two months before we got married. We had a timing issue. We wanted to have a baby soon but we also wanted Billy to be in town (not with his dad) when the baby was born. So we tried for two months. Then stopped trying (just practiced...8)...) for three months. Then started trying again. and viola!

Went on the honeymoon two months before we got married. It's just our wacky way.

So Jeff had gone to the jeweler. He wanted to get an alexandrite (my favorite stone in the world) for my wedding ring. Well alexandrites aren't very popular and are rare. So the jeweler had to order it.

I felt pretty strongly that I wanted a ring before we went on our honeymoon. Makes sense right? So the day before we were to leave Jeff went to the jeweler to get the ordered stone. I knew this was happening.

So that night it was soooo hot outside. I came in from work and took off my shirt, don't get all excited or upset. Billy was out of town. Savanah was just a twinkle in her Daddy's eye. It was flippin hot so I stood in the kitchen in my pants and bra.

Jeff walked in the door from the jewelers. I was excited to see the ring of course but acted all casual. "Hi Honey! Yeah for vacation!" I gave him a kiss. We talked for a few more minutes about our trip the next day.

I had turned around fixing the coffee pot. Jeff said, "Honey, I'm sorry but they got the wrong stone. I don't have the ring."

I inhaled deeply, "Oh no really?" I was so disappointed. I was even a little mad. Why had he waited to the last minute? I was about to say something not so nice. When I turned around to give him a piece of my disappointed mind, I was shocked. There he was on his knee, ring box opened with the most beautiful ring inside.

Then the sweetest words ever spoken.

"Will you marry me?"

"Oh yes!! YES!!!" I jumped up and down. I was silently thankful for the bra! And boy did I feel like a jerk for almost getting mad!

And that is how it happened.

And they lived happily ever after!

One more day honey and it'll be 9 years!

Joytobe

Square of my Heart

This square means the world to me. It means everything to me. This ugly old piece of brown linoleum played an integral part in a moment that changed my life forever.

You see once upon a time my husband knelt on this very piece of flooring when he proposed to me.

When we had the floor replaced I cut out the exact square where his knee sat.

I know I said it was ugly but you know what, it is beautiful, isn't it?

Now the story of the proposal is kinda funny and not traditional but I'll save that for tomorrow.

Happy almost Anniversary Honey,

Joytobe

No Post Sunday Quote

Enjoy your family.

"Angst is optional." - unknown

No Post Saturday Quote

Enjoy your day!

"I found that in entertaining, as well as in life, it's best to surrender to the natural chaos around you. You'll have so much more fun." --Ree Drummond - Pioneer Woman

aaaacccckkkkk It's happening

The leaves are changing. See my evidence.

I have a LOVE/HATE relationship with the changing colors. It is so beautiful. Truly breathtaking eye candy. The colors are indescribable. Glowing. Love it.

But it is a fleeting beauty.

The hate part is that it only last a good week. So short especially if we get some wind. Then all the trees are barren, preparing for the long brutal Minnesota winter. Once the leaves are gone... well you won't see them until May. It is sad.

The beginning of the end.

Joytobe

Saving Box Elder Bugs

My dear sweet daughter got off the bus this afternoon. When she walked to the front door she said "Look Mommy".
Out of the little mesh pocket of her backpack she pulled out a crawling box elder bug. "Where did that come from?" I asked.

"We found it this morning in the school. Everyone was bothering it and I was afraid someone would step on it. So I put it in my backpack."

"So it's been in your back pack all day?" I asked.

"Yes, I saved it" she answered. "Can I keep it?"

uhhhhh NO. Let him be free. Free as a bird.

Joytobe

Most Embarrassing Potty Story EVER

The most embarrassing Potty - not Party Story

Okay so I have finally gotten the courage to tell my 2nd most embarrassing moment. It is only 2nd because well truthfully I am the only one who saw it. So this is a big step to tell you something that no one ever has to know! Just me. The thing is, this is just too funny to not tell.

This did not happen recently. In fact I refuse to tell you when or where. So once upon a vague time in an undisclosed location, If I was working or volunteering I will never tell!! I had helped set up for a special event. The event had not started yet so I took a break. a long break!

I went to the potty with my phone. I did my potty business then decided to sit there and play text twist on my phone. Currently I am on level 150 of text twist. Pretty impressive. However, at this point my game was still in the infantile stages. So I sat enthralled with my new game. When suddenly...........big dramatic scary music......

The Lights Went Out

The lights were on a motion detector. I must have been motionless for too long only my thumbs and mind moving. It was pitch black, like can't see your hand in front of your face dark.

Well as you can guess this is a pretty precarious situation. Because if someone comes in the bathroom and finds me sitting in here in the pitch dark, well....what would you think if you found someone sitting in the dark in a motion detector lighted bathroom! Well I would think several things and NONE of them Good!!

Now the graphic part : I had already done a general cleaning for the reason I was in there in the first place. you know #2. But I was still planning an additional courtesy wipe. Now my phone is my only source of light.

So well first I just start waving my arms frantically hoping to set the motion detector off and get the lights back on. Apparently I am too low in the stall cause it ain't working! So I stand on numb legs ( unbeknownst to me, if you sit on a toilet for too long your legs get numb and tingly) , pants still down and start waving again. Still no go, high stall doors.

I am starting to freak now, claustrophobia setting in, fear of getting caught, caught playing a game mind you!! Sweat beads are forming on my forehead.

Okay so I think use my phone light to finish the wipe. Then get outta here. I go to flip my phone on again for the light and drop it!!!!!! gasp. No not in the toilet, but on the ground, the dirty bathroom floor in the pitch black where I cannot see it! I flounder about still sitting on the toilet but now with my unclothed butt in the air feeling the dirty gross bathroom floor for my phone.

Ahh found it. Now my whole body is sweaty. I use toilet paper and the phone light by dangling the phone over the toilet bowl to make sure my @$& (oops) is clean. Okay all done. I got my pants up, stood up, opened the door.

Then....halleluja...halleluja.....The lights came back on.

I took two steps forward towards the sinks where I was planning to scrub my toilet floor hands like a surgeon, when someone walked in the bathroom. A stranger. I did the unthinkable then in my nervousness to cover up the last 5 minutes, I spoke to that person. Just a quick "hello". See it's a rule at least in the ladies room, don't acknowledge others in the bathroom. She looked at me with glaring confusion.

Gees, that lady looked at me like I was nuts. hmmmm Couldn't help but laugh and think what she would have thought if she made it in there 1 minute sooner.

That is the first and last time I will ever dawdle in a public restroom. Or any restroom for that matter.

Nuff Said,
Joytobe

A Controlled Landing

Earlier today I got a call from Pama's (My grandmother) assisted living. They were informing me that she fell. But they also informed me it was a "controlled landing". She was not hurt at all. She is acting like her same old lively self today. All is well.

Because of that (no harm done) I allowed myself to really delve into the exact saying the nurse used when talking to me. "Controlled Landing". I don't completely understand why but I find this extremely amusing.

First thing coming to mind is an aircraft. A controlled landing. Always want that!!

Then I started thinking about when I biffed it on our outside stoop. (love the word stoop) It would have been nice to have a controlled landing then instead of all the bruises.

How about when life trips us up. I want a controlled landing then too. Yes! From now on I only want nice smooth controlled landings.

Wouldn't that be nice!?

Wishing you many controlled landings!
Joytobe

Internet Woes

So this is the first time today I have been able to get on the internet.

I spent hours on the phone with my internet provider last week. Finally I was told that we had a modem problem and needed a new one. So they sent a new one. Jeff installed it this weekend. has been working just fine until today.

Now when ever this happens prior to getting the modem and now after, our telephone line gets all static. When I use the phone the internet comes back up for about ten minutes. Then craps back out. Then the phone gets static again.

They tell me the problem is not the line. Uh Yeah.
I'll try to post something interesting later today.
Frustrated!
Joytobe

The Weekend

Randomness

What a strange and at times wonderful weekend.

Started with the Friday sunset to Saturday sunset fast for Yom Kippur. It was strange because it was unlike our normal tradition. Normally we would go to my in-laws house. Which we didn't. By the way my mother in law is doing much better. Out of the hospital on Friday morning. Still we chose not to meet with family for this Jewish holiday because Savanah has a cold. We couldn't take the chance of getting Grammy sick. Normally we would also break the fast with family.

So this holiday was very different. Jeff is the only one in our immediate family that fasts. I always feel guilty eating or drinking in front of him. All in all it went fine just very very different.

Friday night was strange in that out of the blue Billy's new girlfriend broke up with him. He was a little shocked and dazed. Earlier that day she brought me pink roses, the first time I have met her. According to Billy she wanted me to like her. Well I thought it was kinda strange and sucking up to me. Odd. It became odd-er when four hours later after the football game she broke up with him. I thought about dumping the flowers on her front doorstep but I don't know where she lives and Billy wouldn't tell me. ;) Sometimes I can truly say I don't understand teenagers. Billy and I sat on the couch for a long time talking about it all. He is okay...a little hurt but okay.

Luckily the weekend ended with beauty and peace. A family day at Sever's Maze was exactly what my family needed. We had so much fun. That place is magical.

Last night was fantastic! With Savanah and Billy finishing up their homework without complaint. Both doing a great job then off to bed early!

A great nights sleep. And that is where I am at right now. Starting out Monday morning a little confused by the weekend but I got a smile on my face.

All is well, and I am thankful.
Joytobe

Autumn Days

I love fall. The feeling in the air. The crisp joyous weather. The smells of apple cider. aahh nothing quite like it.

Sever's Corn Maze This is one of our Fall cannot miss activities. One of our traditions. We have been going for 9 years. If you live in this area you gotta go! It's more than a maze it's a feeling. Definitely worth the drive. A glorious day. Check it out on line.

www.severscornmaze.com/

Going to enjoy this day with my family!
Joytobe

Happy Saturday

Have a happy day.

Confused and Baffled

Okay so I went to the ACTT meeting last night. This is the parent support group for the Elk River High School Drama Club.

Of course the school district has no money to support the Drama club. They have sufficient funds to support the hazing varsity football team but not enough to support the Drama Club.

As evidence by this. The drama club has usually put on a dramatic play in the fall. A musical in the spring. And one-acts in between. This gives all different types of actors a chance to participate. Some great actors are not great singers. and vice verse.

So this year the School District has mandated that the plays this year will be, TWO Musicals, one in the fall and one in the spring! Now that is not supporting students with different skills. Their reasoning for this, musicals generally get higher attendance.

The real catch 22 is this, The Drama club is in danger of being cut as a program offered at school because of low attendance. But the school and school district will not spend any money promoting or advertising the plays! Budget cuts and such. Well you won't get good attendance if you don't get the word out! You get my meaning? Also because of church and state separation issues...you are NOT allowed to hand out flyers in the school to students announcing the play or drama club! Oh Great!!

So I start brainstorming with this group of parents. Could we get donations of time or money from local businesses? put signs around town, walk door to door around neighborhoods, contact local senior citizen activity directors to make an outing for their residents to come see the play? Great ideas started flowing from everyone. Awesome! So the president of this club looks me in the eye in front of everyone and says. "This is all great. Now will you coordinate all of this?"

I said, "Huh? What? UUHHMMM......Okay? I guess."

I just don't know how this happened. I asked a question and suddenly I am charged with running the promotion of the next play.

Which By the Way is

Irving Berlin's
White Christmas
Show runs:
Thursday December 2nd 7:00 pm
Friday December 3rd 7:00 pm
Saturday December 4th 7:00 pm

With a matinee performance
Sunday December 5th 2:00 pm


How am I doing so far?


Okay so lets get busy and show this school district what we are made of and that these kids deserve this program! Not everyone has to be a sports star to be important!!

Now after I publish this post and have vented my frustrations out, I will put my lousy attitude away and get busy.

Ready, Set........Action
Joytobe

JOYTOBE is what

My son recently asked me what is Joytobe, my alias, my AKA.

It started as Joy to Believe. Joy being a play on my real name.
Now you may think "Joy to Believe" is a religious meaning. It is and it isn't.

BELIEVE to me influences attitude. Believe in God. Believe in yourself. Believe in the good of others. Believe in magic. Believe in miracles.

Keep your heart open to the possibilities.
Believe in all the possibilities.
More importantly believe in the impossible.
I have seen the impossible become possible.

Now "Joy to believe" was shortened to "Joy to be". In this form it reminds me to "Just Be". Be involved, be engaged, be in the moment, be kind hearted, Be myself, be joyful.

When I am feeling down and out, these both remind me of who I really am and who I want to be.

Joytobe

Random and A Request

Good Morning,

First and foremost I have a prayer request. My mother in law is in the hospital. Her intestinal infection is back and she is on iv antibiotics. Her chemo has been a rocky road filled with uncertainty. Unfortunately this also delays her chemo thus dragging this out longer than expected. A prayer request for physical healing and peace.

Also a prayer request for Kate Mcrae. Help her Mommy and Daddy find peace in this difficult time. And pray for the healing of Kate. You can look up her caring bridge at

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

Now the random part.

Uugghh I got a jury summons yesterday! Yay! You know there is a part of me that feels proud that our country offers trial by jury and that is a basic American right. And that I have the opportunity and responsibility to participate in our democracy. The other part of me just thinks, What a pain in the ass!!!!

I'll choose to enter this endeavor focusing on the first opinion!

Next I am truly enjoying the school year so far. Getting lots done that was neglected during the summer hiatus. I have been decorating for fall. I love the look my kids get at seeing the decorations. It makes the house feel special. I like that they will carry that memory into adulthood. That makes it all worth it.

My book is coming along. On Chapter 12 of the basic outline, with 16,000 words. Almost done, then I need to go back and rework it. I have the basic story and emotion of it captured now I need to add some details. Then a rewrite for editing. I guess most first time novels have 50,000 words so apparently I am going to have to get "wordy". Just kidding.

The process has been surprisingly exhausting. Sometimes I actually cry while I am writing or laugh or get excited. I get so lost in it. I lose track of time as if I were reading a novel. Pouring my heart and soul into this so maybe it will be good enough to get published. And even if it is not i will be able to say, "Hey, I wrote a novel!" It's on my list of "25 things I want to do before I die". FYI-I am not dying anytime soon but it will be nice to cross another one off of the list.

Okay time to get the day going here.

Enjoy your day!
Joytobe

16 wth?

In less than one month my baby bootie boy will be 16! Where has the time gone? I know all parents ask that question, it becomes redundant....but really......





Where has the time gone?





The hardest part of all this?, well besides all of it? Letting go. Sending him out in the world without my supervision. Questioning if we did a good enough job of teaching him right and wrong. Hoping he will make good decisions most of the time. Did we scare him sufficiently to always wear his seat belt, stay away from drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't drink and drive. All the things that bring us parents sleepless nights. But I still know he will make mistakes and I'm on my knees praying the mistakes he makes won't be life altering! In a split second a life can be changed forever.

Reminds me of when I started letting Billy ride his bike over to a friend's house around the corner on another street. I could no longer see him reach his destination. I made him call me when he got there for several weeks. Then finally I let that go. Shortly after that some kids I didn't know came to my door one afternoon informing me a child was hurt at the end of the street. Was it my son?

Well It was him. He had fallen and laid in the middle of the street. When we got there he was just standing up his bike. Then he cried. He had road rash all over but thankfully he was wearing his helmet which was very scratched up and dented. That is when I decided he would live in a bubble, wrapped in Charmin toilet tissue for the rest of his life! No more chances. We would be taking no more chances like that.

Luckily for Billy, Jeff talked me down from my neurosis. But it was a lesson. A painful one. You have to let them go and they are going to fall down and make mistakes. They will have to get up on their own sometimes. Just give them all the guidance they will let you give. Make sure your expectations are clear. Let them know you will always be there but they have to go around the corner where you can't see them!

Then pray a lot!
Joytobe

My Day

Today was MY DAY!! wooohoooo

I went out shopping. I hate to shop usually but this was a treat. I had gift certificates. The best way to shop. Guilt free!

Went to Yankee Candle -- yum
Johanne's crafts - fun
The Woods - Oh yeah

It was a good time. Now I am feeling a little guilty cause I did nothing at home. NOT, Nothing, Notta! You know...... house work. cleaning, organizing, folding laundry. oh well

There's always tomorrow.
Joytobe

Remember

and pray

A Very Cool Kid

Recently someone who hasn't seen Billy in a long time asked me, "When did Billy become so dark?" Huh I thought then asked, "What do you mean? His hair?" The person answered with concern, "Yes, well and everything."

Yes Billy is checking out different styles, this is true. He is a good little mix of EMO, punk, rocker. But he so much more than that. I have told him: Unfortunately people judge a book by it's cover. Perception is reality. First impressions are hard to change. All these little catch phrases. They are true as shown by that person's questions.

BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH. My Billy is still my Billy. He is EMO - Which stands for emotional. Emo however usually stands for negative emotions, depression, sadness, rebellion, indifferent, disinterested (some of them so extreme they become cutters). Billy is emo but his emotion is happy, energetic, fun loving, engaged. Proof by the Mascot he will be tonight at the football game.

He also tried out for the fall play yesterday. Phil the director apparently liked his audition. The musical which will be showing in Dec, is White Christmas. Fun I hope he gets the part that Danny Kaye played. We'll see.

Billy is so much more than any label.

He recently had to write up a wanted poster for himself so his English teacher could get to know all the students. Here is what he wrote. Gotta love Billy's wit and creativity.

If this criminal is seen in the area, please report him to the authorities. Armed with his hair straightener and hairbrush, this felon is known as Billiards (aka Bill ). Usually found along with The Bandego Warrior (Jonah) and The Tater Gator (Cameron). Billiards is wanted for the unforgivable sin of obsessive hair flipping. Found around football games dressed as a big elk giving fans high fives, on the school drama stage making a fool of himself, or sometimes found at the vault, listening to music. Last arrested October 12,1994. With his unique style of extremely skinny jeans, studded belts that hang low, and dark colored shirts, he is easy to pick out in a crowd. Thank you for your time and be safe tonight. He could be flipping his hair somewhere near you.

Is that awesome or what? So in conclusion, Nope I am not concerned about Billy's dark attire. Billy is Billy. I couldn't love him more or be more proud of him.

Joytobe

CHICKEN

Bak bak bak beeekaaahhhhk What is that? That is the sound of a chicken as best I can figure it would be spelled. You know the sound a chicken makes? Why you ask?

I have recently discovered I am a chicken. A big chicken scaredy cat. meow.

We have recently decided I should probably get a part time job. You see, last year we paid a lot of expenses for my grandmother. I mean a lot, big $$$$$$. In order to do this we took some money - a lot- out of my qualified savings account. Now we planned for the extra taxes and penalties with our budgeting. What we failed to plan for is the fact that this extra income through us into a new tax bracket. Dramatically changing our taxes!!!! So although we have survived fine with one income as the year comes to an end, and we continue to pay some of my grandmother's expenses, well....let's just say we could really use a little extra money.

It doesn't help that my ex-husband does not pay his half of my son's expenses (driver ed fees, drama fees, lunch money) and pays NO CHILD SUPPORT even though he is supposed to. He has not paid child support in 7 YEARS. I have yelled, begged, pleaded and threatened him for 7 Years. And to be honest up until now it just seemed like too much of a pain in the ass to go after him with an attorney. That will change soon too!

Now that Savanah is in 3rd grade well it seems time for me to work. I would still like to be home when the kids get home.

Okay so on to what makes me a chicken %&*$. I am scared to get a job. I haven't worked in 7 years. I have started to update my resume. OH Yuck. I tried to find my old resume. HA HA I found it. It is on an old HARD computer disk. ha can you believe that? I don't have a computer with that old kind of disc drive. So I started from scratch. YUCK

Then thinking of the interview process just makes my heart pound with anxiety. Even if I could get an interview in these times. Jobs are hard to come by.

What I find amusing about all of this.....I used to be so confident in the workplace. I use to interview so well. Actually their is only one job I have ever interviewed for that I didn't get. I was eighteen and the job was way over my head. But now my armpits are damp just thinking about it. Sorry to be gross!

I have done all this before. I just forgot how to do it.

Any suggestions?

Looking for courage,
Joytobe

Aahhhh Quiet - Bad Mommy

Okay so does it make me a bad mother that I have been counting down the days til school starts? since June 20th? Just kidding but seriously.....

I love the beginning of summer. I struggle when Billy leaves but then find my rhythm. My rhythm for summer is LAZY. The Lazy days of summer. sleeping late. not even attempting to get anything done because with my child and all the neighborhood kids in and out of my house, "what is the point?" I mean mud, dirt, water, grass, wet dog hair, rocks. This all covers my floor all summer long. I have found that the moment I sweep and mop my floors ten kids come running in with muddy feet followed by the muddy dog. Then I get FURIOUS!!! The solution? don't sweep and mop the floors.

During summer my house is complete chaos. The doorbell rings no less that 15 times a day. The door swings open 50 times a day. It is left open 25 of those times. I can hardly keep up with the fly swatter. The nasty little buggers touching everything. I meant the flies not the kids. Well...maybe both.

I love kids but to be honest by the end of summer we are all ready for school to start. Now the kids will NEVER admit that. But my kids were filled with energy last night and up early this morning picking out what clothes to wear. They were excited for school to start.

We are both looking forward to routine. I may mop my floors today then again maybe not. But I do have a goal, I will destroy every last fly in this house today. I have to do it when Savanah is gone because she wants to save them. uh

I will write today on my blog and in my book.

And most of all I will relish the quiet. I will soak it in!

Enjoy your day.
Joytobe

Up the Ante

Upping the ante

Upping the Anxiety. I mean Upping the Anxiety Medication!

This is the time of year all of the excitement happens. Even the weather is cooperating with this change and excitement. Temperature right now - a crisp and windy 59 degrees with a bright blue sky.

Fall --mmmm I love it.

But suddenly the lazy days of summer are numbered. Nothing to do has been left behind.

So what all happens in fall? You ask. Where do I begin!?

First and foremost I go from being the mother of one 7 year old back to being the mother of two. One of which is a teenager! Need I say more. Well over the summer I certainly didn't stop being Billy's mother. However with his trip to CT I was not responsible for him on a daily bases.

Next I will no longer be the mother of a 7 year old. She will be 8 on August 30th! Birthday party prep is in full swing.

Then let's not forget the fun and excitement of the state fair. Opening day is tomorrow and we will be there. We are state fair junkies. LOVE IT!

Oh then the dreaded and anticipated first day of school. Dreaded by the kids. Anticipated by the parents! Lots to do still for school supply prepping. Have to be prepared on the first day! Not to mention trying to get back into a regulatory bedtime schedule. uuuggghhhh

Decorating the house for fall! Beautiful but a lot of work.

Then we have the annual fall trip up to Lutsen. A much needed break from the first few weeks of school.

Next my honey and I will celebrate our 9 year anniversary. Can't believe it has been that long. I am still so in love!

Trips to Sever's Maze! Love it!

Our favorite Pumpkin Pickin Farm. Fabulous!!

Then Oh MY!! My sweet baby bootie boy turns 16. Oh where has the time gone?!

Then the hallowed Halloween! Costume prepping.

Just about the time for Thanksgiving I will start freaking out about Hanukkah and Christmas! Oh Joy!

I just counted and I have 19 exclamation points in this post! Oops 20 now.

And that is fall - an exclamation point. Does that explain it?! 21
Joytobe

Picked My Pepper

Long time no blog.

Well I've been feverishly writing my book. Chapter 8 Very Rough Draft Done, 12,000 words done. Too late to back out now. Gotta finish. It would be nice to make money writing which I have found is my passion.

But this is about my other passion. Gardening. This is also a new passion of mine. I set out this spring to grow something I could eat!! And I have succeeded!

This is a picture of my red pepper just moments actually seconds before I picked it. Then I ate it! It was yummy. I have also been eating my chives and using my lemon balm in my tea. I am feeling quite accomplished.

I am already planning next years garden with a dramatic increase of space. More planter boxes. Don't worry honey. It may be work to build the boxes but it means less grass to cut.

Enjoy your day!

Awesome

Is this awesome or what? I bought this expression from my friend Tracy through Uppercase Living. I painted the wall. Jeff and I put it on without causing any bodily harm!

I so dig it.

Joyce

Insane Beauty

Hey all, long time no blog-ing. Well I hope to become more regular when school starts. Regular in all meanings of the word. I still enjoy blogging but I am taking a swing at writing a book. Can't do both with kids home during summer. So sorry but for now blog posts will be random.

But I couldn't pass this one up. See these pretty plants below. I have planted them two years in a row right in this very spot. People always comment about how beautiful they are. And they are.
Several people have said they are so beautiful that they almost look fake. They are not.


In the past I have loved them. All of the neighborhood kids congregate on this sidewalk near my front door. These are perfect because although they are pretty red flowers they don't attract bees. Perfect. They have no smell. Here is a close up.

Aren't they incredible? So here is the insanity. Look closely at this picture. See the black spot in the middle? That is a fly...... which would be okay. Except at any given time during the day these plants are covered with them. An insane amount of flies. Like 15 per plant. A freakin nightmare for someone with pteronarcophobia. (a fear of flies) I may be developing this phobia. This is freaking me out. Since they are near my front door flies keep getting in my house.

This has never happened before. Why is it happening now? Can someone find the answer? Is there a floriculturist out there?

These plant have 24 hours then I am chopping them down.

All I can say is ewe.

Joytobe

Random Stuff

I'm feeling random.

Mother-in-law Update
A couple of updates. My mother-in-law has had some bumps in the road of chemotherapy. Some side effects. Recently her white blood count dropped which decreases your ability to fight infection. Shortly after that she got a high fever. Luckily an antibiotic has helped. Yay, no more fever. She is very fatigued still and really has no appetite. So I have a prayer request. To help her and her husband get through this one day at a time. To fill their hearts with comfort and peace.

Garage Sale
I have said it over and over. I will say it again. I am never, after this one, having a garage sale again. Oh yeah. I am having a garage sale Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I had one last year. The cool part was I have been pricing stuff since then. But I forget about lugging it all to the garage and setting it all up and then sitting outside for 3 whole days.

Last year I used the money to buy school clothes for the kids which was really nice. We will see. Money can be quite a motivator.

Writing

I have started writing a book. I have about three chapters roughly done. I know the characters. I kind of know the timeline. I'm struggling a little with the process. Write an outline, write chapters, just write it all and figure out the chapter breaks later and so on. But I do like it. I may post pieces of it just to get some feedback. We'll see.

While writing my blog posts may be a little sporadic. So please keep checking in. I'll try to post at least every other day.


Random Questions

I wrote this the other day. It's weird and interesting to me. I was sitting in the car contemplating life while waiting for Zoo camp to be over.

So many answers!
What's the question?
Fulfillment
Peace
Contentment
Purpose

The secret to happiness
Relationships
Connections to people
Living in the moment
Accepting imperfection

Maybe the secret is to;
Keep asking?
Keep searching?
Keep analyzing?

But is that too hard? Should happiness be easier?
The End


What does that mean?

Okay I gotta get busy.
Enjoy your day,
Joytobe

The Finished Bathroom

Painting my upstairs bathroom has been hell. But now it is done and I will NEVER EVER paint this room again.

I like it and think it looks pretty but not too girly. As Savanah says, "I'm not a girly girl."

Before or actually during

Remember this post about my husband complaining about the ladder in the bathroom. http://joytobelieve.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-dirty-little-secret.html

Well he is not complaining now. he loves the way it turned out. Definitely worth the wait.

After

Ahhh

Joytobe

The Dilemma of the Teal Bottles

I have a dilemma. I love these teal colored bottles. My hubby hates them. They used to sit in my bathroom. My bathroom is all warm earthy tones. The teal vases/bottles don't fit with the colors especially now since I painted the bathroom. They actual work with the colors in the family room and at one time they sat on the fireplace mantel. They look great with this painting hanging above the fireplace.

But again Hubby doesn't care for them. Hey now he gives me pretty much carte blanche to decorate the house how I like. However, with this one he is pretty adamant they are not going back on the mantel . He really dislikes these.

Ah what to do? They have been sitting on my kitchen table amongst the bathroom chotchkies while I was painting the bathroom. Now that is done....YES my bathroom is done. I will post pictures of the finished product later. I don't know what to do with them. They look kind of nice on the kitchen table. Don't you think?

hhhmmmm

Jooytobe

Another Hiatus

I have been on an unplanned hiatus. I am taking a two week break.

I am writing a book. I've wanted to do this for along time. I have tried in a half ass way in the past. But now I have decided I am going to go for it full throttle. After two weeks of intense writing I will re-evaluate, re-read and decide if I should I pursue this.

It's on my bucket list. So here goes nothing, I mean something.

Wish me luck!
Joytobe

Errands and Stuff

I got lots to do today and places to go. I will try to post this afternoon. If I don't.....Have a great day!

Joytobe