The low self esteem stems from weight gain, gray hair, a connective tissue flare and my nose! Allow me to explain.
This January I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from my nose. Now as far as cancer goes this is the one to have without a doubt. It doesn't spread to other parts of the body. So I truly am grateful for that. However, because it became infected it left an ugly scar. (it is probably much worse in my mind than reality.) I am not extremely vain but for awhile now I have felt like everyone is staring at my nose.
The infection lead to a Connective Tissue Disease flare. Basically when my immune system kicked into high gear to fight the nose infection my body started attacking itself. This caused major joint pain, a nasty rash and over all fatigue. This lasted for about 2 months. Dark days! I really had to fight depression.
Also related to the flare I suddenly got an infection around the lining of my heart, pericarditis. Generally this is not dangerous just painful. Also causing more fatigue.
So finally about mid March things really turned around physically. My energy came back, limited joint pain. yay!
Then I looked in the mirror I had gray hair from my roots about 3 inches long. Yikes I look like a grandma with a jacked up nose. I have gained quite a bit of weight over the last two years. So Now I am a chubby grandma with a jacked up nose.
So over the last few weeks I have been exercising. My energy has increased even further. Not seeing the weight loss yet but I feel great and am headed in the right direction.
Yesterday I decided to do something about the hair. I'll be turning 39 this year so it is now or never on the dramatic hair. I didn't want it to look "natural" I wanted it to look funky. What better way to get people to stop staring at my nose. They will be staring at my hair!
So I got stripes!
Now this is pretty dramatic for me. It looks more dramatic than the picture really shows. I like it a lot! Just the pick me up I needed.
Now.... "my low self esteem is at an all time high." Trivia, what movie is that quote from?
Sincerely Zebra,
Joytobe
3 comments:
"I am a chubby grandma with a jacked up nose."
You are too funny! I love the new stripes, have Jeff take a photo of the whole head of hair out in the sun so they really shine out, I want to see more!
Oh no. You have a cute nose! I'll try to get more pics. Thanks
Okay I re read my comment and it didn't make sense so just "Thank you!"
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