Painfully Shy and Incredibly Awkward

Something that a lot of people don't realize about me. I can be painfully shy and incredibly awkward.

Often this may come across as snooty or stuck up because I will be very quiet. Mostly it is I am afraid of saying something... well....something SO "Joyce".

This really is only with strangers or people that I don't know well. Once you really know me it is unlikely you can get me to shut up.

Now when I have a purpose, a reason to be somewhere, an agenda so to speak, I am not shy. Oddly enough if I am talking about something I know about or something pertaining to the maintenance of my family or my home, I am not shy at all. When I was working I was not shy. In fact I was a leader. I always rocked the job interviews. And furthermore in these situations I don't say anything stupid. Well maybe once in a while.

The real problem arises when I am put in a situation that I need to make small talk. It's not a problem if it is a stranger I may never meet again. The problem is when.... well you guessed it, when I feel I need to impress the stranger, like a parent at the school, or a friend of a friend, or a new neighbor, etc. Then finally when I get the courage to let something slip out I sound stupid! OR worse yet I let my not-so-understood sense of humor out of the closet before said stranger is anywhere near understanding the real me. ( I really liked that last sentence. kinda funky)

Unfortunately this is who I am.
Take me or leave me.
Joytobe

Happy Birthday My Sweet Cabby

It's my sweet doggy's birthday. She is all excited cause she knows she's getting ice cream tonight! I swear the dog knows.

She is double digits today. 10 years old. This is for you Cabby!

Quote : "Who knew that dog saliva could mend a broken heart." -Jennifer Neal

Thank you Cabby for making my world a better place with your gentle ways and sweet smile.

Joytobe

Nag Nag Nag

Do you remember that old cat food commercial?
Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Meow, meow, meow, meow.

Seriously do you remember that little tune?

Well this is me, THE MOM.
Nag, nag, nag, nag
nag, nag, nag, nag


Okay big word of warning this is a me ranting and raving with humor! Enter at your own risk.

There are days when I feel like the ONLY thing out of my mouth is telling people what to do. Reminding them, nagging them, pushing them.

It starts from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep and it is
FREAKIN EXHAUSTING!

I keep telling them. THIS IS NOT FUN. You think you got it bad with me nagging you. Try being me. I have a lot more important things to say than keeping track of your stuff. Man if I didn't have to use all my energy nagging I could solve world peace!

Hold on I gotta go push one out the door or the bus will be missed!

I'm back. We'll see if he makes it.

So ya. Like five minutes ago. I said "Alright you got five minutes. Better pack up your backpack." As he is feverishly trying to finish last nights homework before 2nd period, because he accidentally fell asleep after I told him last night "Now don't fall asleep. Why don't you stay down here with me while you read so I can keep you awake." Because he is reading a book that he really doesn't like. His answer, "I won't fall asleep." Trying to give the kid some freedom I say okay. Go to check on him an hour later. Oh yeah he is asleep!

Oh so back to five minutes ago. Actually now with two minutes to go I see him heading into the bathroom. I look over, his back pack is not ready. He is in the bathroom straightening his hair!!!!! "Where is your jacket? Hey, you gotta go."

He doesn't know where his jacket is. So I run around the house looking for it. He packs up his backpack. Then as he is heading out the door he exclaims with a gasp, "Can you go get my ipod downstairs?" I say, "Nope, there is not time." "I have to go today without my music?" he says with a look of terror on his face. With a hug I say "Yep, goodbye, I love you and have a good day!"

AND NOW I am feeling GUILTY about him not having his ipod!!! Now that would be stupid except, (yeah there is always an exception) music is everything to this kid, it helps him relieve stress. To be honest, he has been having a very rough time. He has had to deal with some serious adult type issues the last few weeks. And I hope she (oops I meant it) goes ways.

So now I am thinking is there a way I could get up to the school to give him his I-pod? Can you believe that?

And now I have exactly 20 minutes before I have to go wrangle kid number two out of bed. Which is not an easy feat! This #2 child is sooooo belligerent when she first wakes up!

Here is my new mantra:
"What about me? It isn't fair. I've had enough now I want my share. Can't you see? I wanna live but you just take more than you give." Thank you Garry Frost and Frances Swan from the band Moving Pictures for writing the lyrics to this song.

I gotta go rest.
Joytobe
BTW ; He made it to the bus.

Two and a Half Weeks Out

In two and a half weeks!!!

Elk River High School Drama

Presents

Irving Berlin's

White Christmas

in the High School Zabee Theater

December 2nd, 3rd, 4th at 7:00 pm

December 5th matinee at 2:00 pm

Tickets $6.00 for adults

$4.00 for students and senior citizens

Tickets may be purchased at the school office, from me or at Coborn's on Tuesday November 23rd from 6:00 - 8:00 pm where the four leading characters will be performing a few songs from the show.

Tickets may also be purchased at the door at show times.

Yay! I am excited and nervous for the show and Billy - I mean General Waverly!

Joytobe

You Play, You Pay

The winter storm came and went. We got several inches of the white stuff. It was okay. I did reschedule one of the plans I had on account of the snow.

But we kept date night. We had very much fun. too much fun. Since we stayed in a hotel down town we partook in mucho alcoholic beverages. We occasionally need to just let loose, be irresponsible in a responsible way. no driving, kids are safe with grandparents.

So we get stupid!!

I completely enjoy being with my hubby. We laugh, we talk, we eat, we drink, we dance, we laugh some more. We especially enjoy watching those who have way overindulged in the fun libations. I know it's mean but we laugh as we watch them fall over, stumble and sway.

Towards the end of the night we ourselves stumble and sway our way back to the hotel. Then we laugh at each other. It's all in good fun.

But oh my do I feel like crap today!!! In fact I gotta go lie down.

See ya,

Joytobe

Here we go!

Winter Storm Warning.

Oooo. aahh

I love the first snowfall! It's purty. But I am not thrilled with the timing. I got places to go tomorrow, people to see, things to do.

Had a fantastic date night planned with my honey. I know, I know......this is Minnesota, snow doesn't stop us. Doesn't deter our plans. We trudge right on through with living. Right?

Well yes and no. After the 3rd snowfall of winter, everyone gets into their winter groove. They first remember how to drive in the white stuff. The plows get the hang of clearing the roads and pretty much life goes on as normal. But the first measurable snowfall is HUGE in the HASSLE factor.

If possible most people hibernate for the first winter storm! Me, I hibernate all winter! Pack on some extra pounds and sleep lots! Just kidding but that is what I would like to do. Well okay not kidding about the pounds but you know here in Siberia we need the extra fat to survive the brutal cold winter.

Well here it comes..... maybe..... if the forecasters are right. Which we all know is a 50/50 chance. Let's just say I'm not cancelling my plans just yet. But I will probably forego my stiletto suede boots tomorrow night. Bummer, I suffer through one incredible painful foot night once a year just so I can look HOT! Not temperature HOT but COOL hot. Smokin Hot!

I think the changing barometric pressure from the approaching Low weather system is blowing some fuses in my brain. Or maybe it's the loaded beverage I am drinking. But heck my mind is wandering and jumping all over the place. It's like a wobbly roller coaster.

Well here is my toast to winter.

Here's to hoping we survive it! See you next spring....in late May. The groundhog don't mean shit here! (sorry for the curse word!)
Joytobe

Veterans

To all the veterans I know and those I will never know.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To my father. Today I took out the flag that was draped over your coffin 10 years ago on November 30th, 2000. You served your country in Japan during the occupation after World War II. You served your country in both the Army and the Air force.

I held the shells that were fired at the cemetery.

I read the card placed with the shells.

"This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation, as a token of our appreciation for the honorable and faithful service rendered by your loved one."

Thank you Daddy and I miss you.
Joyce

Yummy Buffet

I LOVE YUMMY BUFFET.

Not for the food although it is okay. But I love it for the family time.

There is something quite magical about this place for my family. It's like the moment you walk in the door you relax and ALL manners fly out the window! Maybe it's the mauve vinyl chairs, the fake wood linoleum tables, the MSG in the food damages our brain, the dirty bathroom that I refuse to go in or the dirty fish tank with huge goldfish for ambiance. But we have laughed s0o hard in this restaurant that I worried they would ask us to leave.

It's not just a one time fluke either. Every time we go to there we lose propriety and just truly enjoy each other. I am sure when they see us walking up they just want to lock the door.

One time while there my entire family including myself had a contest to see who could suck up a chow mien noodle through a straw first! Disgusting but irresistibly funny!

Saturday on our adventure at Yummy Buffet two very funny things happened.

I got to see my son's face turn a shade of bright red violet that I have only seen on probably a handful of occasions. Billy is taking Chinese at school for his world language. He really likes it and he seems to be doing well. Yummy Buffet is completely staffed by authentic Chinese people. In fact they know very limited English.

My family starts pushing Billy to say something to the waitress in Chinese. So finally Billy decides to try out a word. When the waitress brings him his third refill of root beer he says, "Sie sie" pronounced "Shay Shay". It means thank you.

The waitress had already turned around to walk away. She turns back around with a huge grin. Excited and startled that someone knows Chinese and starts talking to him in Chinese. Billy smiles as the crimson first appears on his neck and quickly spreads all over his entire face like wild fire. Now beads of sweat are forming on his upper lip. He has no idea what she is saying. He just smiles at her. She nods and walks away. When she is out of ear shot we all start crying with tears of laughter!

The great thing about Billy is he rarely gets embarrassed. So it is fun to see him that way. You really can't embarrass him. The even greater thing about Billy is that he is socially fearless. I have often said this about him and he proved it ; when she came back he said it again!!!

Later during our meal we explored the possibility of slurping up jello squares with a straw.

I would like to go back there today and the next day and the next day!

Joytobe

I HATE LICE!

Okay about more than anything.....I HATE LICE.

So another note comes home from the school. There is lice in the classroom. Immediately after I hear the word lice I start itching all over. My head and my body.

I become neurotic. My hair will be pulled back in a pony tail for about a month now. I will think of lice intermittently through the day. We got a notice from the school about a month ago and it has taken me this long...... up until just yesterday to be able to touch my child's hair without thinking about lice.

And now we start all over again, with the crazy thoughts, like shaving my head bald!!!

I gotta go. I gotta stop typing and thinking....LICE

Drinking lots of wine tonight!
Joytobe

Dog Buzz

Just for reference for this post you need to know...... In our family we call passing gas, a fart, a toot...well we call it a buzz. For instance as a verb you would say "I buzzed". Or to another family member you might say "Stop Buzzing!"

Okay so the funniest thing here. My dog rarely buzzes. I mean I have witnessed the dog buzz maybe 10 times in her ten years. Almost Happy Birthday Cabby, November 16th, you'll be double digits. 10 years old. Anyways. so she rarely buzzes except for this week. Cabby is on an antibiotic for a tick bite. Well apparently, as the vet warned me, this medicine can upset her tummy a little. My dog has buzzed 4 times already this morning. And three times last night. Almost the total of her lifetime buzzes.

The thing about Cabby. When she buzzes, it scares the daylights out of her, especially if it makes a noise, which it has been.

So just now I am sitting at my computer, and I hear ppfppfppspphuh, from her bootie in the kitchen. Then I hear her nails skidding and running across the wood kitchen floor. I see her booking around the corner trying to get away from her own butt!

Then she runs toward me so I can protect her from again HER OWN BUTT. Then she lays down next to my chair by my feet. Suddenly the noise comes again, she jumps up as if she has a rocket attached to her butt (maybe she does). She runs back toward the kitchen then back around the corner to me again. Lays back down but is whimpering a little.

Now I feel bad for the dog. I mean I really love my dog. But you gotta admit, it is damn funny too. A dog that is afraid of its own buzz. What is the name of that phobia?

Hold on, I gotta look that up.

Okay I'm back. Not as easy as I thought to find the answer to that question. So some just call it the Fear of Flatulence. or Flatuphobia. However, I cannot find a scientific use of Flatuphobia but hey it works for me.

So my poor flatuphobia dog is next to me, looking at me as if begging me to stop this unnatural phenomenon.

I feel bad for her in between my bouts of laughter.
Joytobe

PS update, took dog outside. she had a mega poop. maybe she'll feel better now.

Scotch Tape Joy

Stick your nose into a tape dispenser. Draw a deep breath of air in through your nose.


ahhhh Do you smell that? I love that smell. That smell conjures up many emotions and memories.


It reminds me of the childhood excitement of Christmas morning before any gifts were opened. When you stared wide eyed at a pile of unopened gifts that held all the promise in the world.

Now it reminds me of Christmas Eve, the excitement of wrapping the last few gifts for my family.

I think of how both of my children have been so excited on Christmas morning to see Jeff and I open their gifts to us before they touched any of the presents for them. The gifts they made and wrapped with an entire role of scotch tape. The pure joy on their face to give to someone else.

It makes me think of my children's craft projects. It makes me think of Savanah's imagination, watching her tape together all of her little cars and my plastic butter dish to make a train. I think of broken things that my children tried to repair with scotch tape so I would not find out. ;)


It makes me think of wrapping gifts for people I love. It is the best feeling when you find a great gift (thoughtful not necessarily expensive) for someone you care about. That gift that you can't wait to see them open.


I think of when we told my in-laws we were expecting a baby (Savanah). We wrapped up baby booties. The slight confusion about the gift followed by overwhelming tears at the understanding of becoming grandparents. A moment I will always remember.



Then the Grateful Dead Tape for Jeff. I scoured the internet for a dead head. Found the right person who had a bootlegged tape of a Grateful Dead concert performed the very day Jeff was born!

I always aim for that Home Run gift. Sometimes I reach my goal, sometimes I don't. But I always try.

It's the same way with writing a post. Some that I finish really give me a sense of pride. They have a strong meaning or I feel like I truly expressed myself. Or it was just well written. Some of my posts could really use a healthy wrapping of scotch tape to fix them. But again I try.

mm-mm scotch tape. Yankee candle should make a candle that smells like scotch tape!

Joytobe

No Post Sunday Quotes

Find your spirit within today.

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." -Wayne Dyer

"If I had a star for every time you made me smile, I would be holding the midnight sky in my hand." -unknown

Joytobe

No Post Saturday Quotes

Seize the day.



"Do unto others as though you were the others." -unknown



"Imagination is more important that knowledge." -Albert Einstein

Joytobe

Not My Fault

I have been feeling a little bit discouraged with writing. Add to that some serious hectic-ness and you have no blog posts!

I forget that when I blog my random thoughts I generally feel better and more encouraged to keep on keeping on!

So what is making me so busy? Here is my sob story. I am quite certain this compares quite nicely to everyone's sob story. Mine is certainly no better or more important other than it is mine. Now I do feel that I should put in a caveat here, that I should just shut up and count my blessings!! No one in my family is dangerously ill. No one has lost their job. I am not living in a war torn country. We have plenty to eat. We have roof over our heads. No natural disasters have impacted us. We have no tragedy. Well unless you count teenage dating! After all that I feel stupid for complaining but these are my measly little woes.

1. Medical stuff. Scheduling Dr appointments, check ups, endoscopy, dentist appointment, GYN appointments, flu shots, vet appointments. And so on!

2. Drama stuff. Just picking Billy up every day from rehearsal can put a little kink in my day. Add to that the volunteering and promotional work for the drama club. Well it all equates to a lot of time!

3. Getting the house ready for Thanksgiving company. Slow and steady wins the race. If I could just keep my family from entering a room once I clean it! For three weeks. Is that not reasonable?

4. Starting Christmas and Hanukkah (it's early this year!) shopping. Again slow and steady wins the race and ensures a thoughtful gift!

5. Setting up piano lessons, gymnastic lessons, etc.

6. Keeping Billy out of trouble has become a full time job! Not really but kind of. This requires eyes like a hawk and a memory like an elephant.

Recently I was told that I appear to not be paying attention when people tell me things. Mostly because I ask a lot of clarifying questions and I don't remember stuff.

Well I figured out the reason why. I am so busy keeping track of responsibilities (mine and others) that I have no room left in my brain for new information. I am full to capacity. In fact one more bit of important information and I may blow.

So it is not my fault. For instance the other day I was talking on my phone in the car ....I got out of my car and looked for my phone for a good five minutes. I muttered out loud, "I can't find my dang phone." The kind person I was talking to on my phone started laughing! Hmmm What's so funny? I thought seriously irritated. It did eventually dawn on me, I was still talking on my phone!! Yes the same very phone I was looking for. Nice huh?

So I apologize in advance for my lack of attention and ditziness!

But....It's not my fault.
Joytobe

Random

Ode to the Guidance Counselor!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Problem resolved. Lots of work to do now. For Billy. Not me. My work here is done.

I have a sick kid. Poor Billy not feeling well but has to go to first period. Meeting a new teacher. I'm picking him up at 12:00. Funny how he gets upset if he misses school. Make up work is a biotch.

Two hour late start. Kiddos got to sleep in.

My honey comes home from New York City today. Yay!! Missed you but leave the bed bugs there please! Remember I hate things that could live on me, my kids, my pets! Which reminds me, I found a deer tick on Cabby. Not good!!

Well gotta go.
Joytobe

Love My Tree

I love my tree.






When our house was being built we researched trees. I knew I wanted a red maple in my front yard. We found this Sunset Maple at a nursery and I fell in love. One thing that I didn't know at the time we purchased it is that it turns color late in the season (well late by Minnesota standards). In fact it is almost the only tree in the area with leaves still.

It is small still although it has grown in three years. I can't wait til it's big.

Unfortunately pictures don't do it justice on its vibrancy. It almost hurts your eyes.


The sad thing is this: This coming Wednesday a storm is headed our way with rain/snow mix and with this storm 40 mile per hour sustained winds with gusts to 60. These leaves days are numbered.

Goodbye to the most wonderful, long, beautiful fall I have ever experienced in all my days. Hello to winter. 8/ or :} or :p

Joytobe

Hatred

I have been accused recently of hating someone. Well hate is a strong word. So I started thinking about it. To me hate somewhat means: To dislike someone or something so much you wish it did not exist.



We all throw the word "hate" around almost as much as teenagers throw the word "Love" around. But think about this real hard, for instance, "I hate Mondays." Well if there were no Mondays there would be no beginning to the week and if there were no beginning to the week there could be no ending to the week, "Friday". You can't have an ending without a beginning. So there



So are there things, people I hate so much I wish they did not exist? Well yes but there are only a few. Like say Bin Laden now that is a true hate. I say that I hate Gilbert Godfrey but really that is just a very strong aversion! There are people who annoy me, who I may dislike but honestly to wish they didn't exist at all. hmmmmm well maybe if they didn't exist in my life???



I hate pedophiles, serial killers, child killers. Yes I wish they did not exist.



I can honestly say I hate Tics, lice, fleas. Anything that could live on me, on my children, on my animals. Yeah that is a hate.

I am sure there are other things I hate but maybe we shouldn't throw the word around. You know what I mean? So no to the person who accused me of hating someone. I don't hate her.

Not terribly fond of her.
Joytobe

Guidance Counselors

Have you ever noticed there is a negative stigma around high school guidance counselors? The ones I knew in high school were...... I don't know....dopey, useless, unreasonable, unhelpful, mundane, annoying. I am quite certain my perceptions were more a product of my age, attitude and angst (the three dangerous A's) than truth.



If you think about it, they have a wicked hard job and kudos to the ones who do it well. Imagine having to motivate teenagers to do well academically and provide counsel to the ones struggling through no fault of their own. Then deal with the slackers. The kids with unsatisfactory but not abusive homes. The emotional drama with having discovered the opposite sex alone is too much for their developing minds and reproductive organs! I have to deal with one good but procrastinating, absent minded teenager and it pisses me off to no end. The cavalier way they approach their future.

On the other hand they also have to satisfy demanding parents. Flip that side over again and they are dealing with teachers and principals.

Well I have just had reason to contact my son's guidance counselor. And my original opinion has been completely altered. This counselor was FANTASTIC. She was a great listener. She worked with me. She tried to find solutions and we came up with a plan and a back-up plan. We went over worst case scenarios. She felt concern over my child's well being and happiness. She looked at the big picture through the lens of my eyes and Billy's eyes. Then went as far as looking at prospective college's perceptions.

WOW!!! That is all I gotta say! Sure got my tax payers money's worth with this gal. She deserves a raise!

Joytobe

The Gray Area

I used to never think there was much of a gray area in parenting. You know...more black and white.

Be nice to others
Don't steal
Don't cheat
No hitting (or biting or kicking)
Share
Take turns
Be respectful

Now there is definitely a gray area where you choose consequences for not following these rules but you work through it.

Now I find myself in a very gray area as I watch my teenager maneuver through relationships. Those rules above still apply but now there are a whole new set of rules that I don't know. I guess I am in the teenage parent learning curve and I am certainly not gifted in this area

I struggle and I am afraid of making mistakes. This is maybe the most crucial time within a child's development. This is it. My last chance to groom him and send him into the world strong confident and caring. This is where he really feels his own self worth. This is where he gives it all a test drive but still has the bumpers on the car.

I am those bumpers.

This is my dilemma. My child is being hurt by a girl. I can see that she is using and manipulating him. She is thriving on the attention Billy and another boy are giving her. But she can't decide she cares for them both. Whatever!! She is stringing him along. And he is following her. I have no respect for this girl. Alas he will not listen to me. Billy is smart by he is blinded by love. He is "in love". I see him hurting. He doesn't want to hear my opinion anymore. But it is obvious he needs someone to talk to. At this point he is starting to not trust me because I can hardly keep myself quiet. The more I try to push him away from her the stronger he is pulled towards her.

At what point do you forbid him to see her or talk to her? Does there come a time when that is necessary? If he gets so down? The drama she creates gets too much for him. We are not there yet but it's heading in that direction. Would that do any good? Then will he just lie to me?

This girl is bringing him down. Is this a lesson he has to learn for himself?
Do I just sit by with duct tape on my mouth?

This is causing serious stress within our family.

What should I be doing besides praying? (cause I am already doing that.)
Joytobe

Pumpkin Patch Farm - Sacred Ground

Oh how I love fall. This is one of my favorite parts. Going to the farm to get pumpkins. We spend hours at the farm. The animals are so adorable and sweet. We laugh and play. I love these moments as a family. I wouldn't trade these times for anything!

The first little cutie we see is Archie. He is a sweet old cat who spends all of his time with his eyes closed. I think I have seen his eyes but I am not sure. Savanah spends quite a bit of time with Archie. She loves cats but Daddy is allergic to them!

Then we head over to the baby chickens. I am sure the chickens just love the scent of cat on Savanah's hands. That is assuming chickens can smell?

Then it is on to the beautiful sweet baby goats. These are Savanah's favorites! They flock to her too. They are precious!

She holds them forever. They never seem to mind.

Then Jeff and my favorite. The baby cows! Oh Have you ever seen such cuteness? They love to have their necks scratched and rubbed. This one was a licker. His/her tongue was really rough!

This little baby cow adored Jeff. It just kinda rested it's head in Jeff's hands. Oh I want one!!

Then the kids and Jeff begin a friendly game of teether ball while I snap photo's. They have a blast. They also have many brain altering near misses where I gasp. Watching someone move their head just in time to not get a concussion!

This picture shows my point exactly. They have so much fun and I just savor every moment!

More Teether ball!



Eventually we pick out our pumpkins.

Now on to why this place is sacred ground. Our second year visiting ( 5 years ago) this farm misfortune occurred. During a friendly game of teether ball the unthinkable happened.

While hitting the ball, my honey's wedding ring flew off of his finger! It landed somewhere in the grassy, leaf covered field. The farmer, his wife and many visitors were with us on their hands and knees looking for it. We ran into the small town and rented a metal detector. We looked for hours and never found that ring. Jeff was devastated. He said he could never go back there without thinking of his lost ring.

Eventually I convinced him that for this specific reason, we had to go back every year! This is precious ground. I spend a few minutes each year looking down in the area of the lost ring hoping to see the shimmer of gold. No luck this year.

Maybe next year!

Joytobe