The Promise of Spring

March 2nd, 2010 It is not spring yet.

But I feel, hear and smell the promise of spring. It is beautiful.

On my walk down a tree lined path. I heard birds chirping. I felt the sunshine on my face. My shoulders did not feel the burden of a heavy coat. I finally saw wet brown grass now mixed with the dingy snow. A slight breeze refreshed me and did not bring a chill. I passed another who wore the same smile as me. I smelled melting dirt once again holding the promise of new life. I sat in the sunshine on my deck basking in the day. I heard the water constantly dripping from the melting winter.

This beautiful day, this beautiful promise of spring will sustain me and give me the strength to wait for the first shades of green and buds of spring.


ahhhhhhh
Joytobe

@%$#^T$*&^^%$@#

Okay Glad I got that out of my system.

I am going to be honest in that I am not happy right now. I am having a flare of Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. This is really not fun. It causes bad joint pain and fatigue, got a rash too. Tried to get an appointment with my rheumatologist but no openings til April 12th!!!!!!! Holy cow Although I would like him to run blood tests, do x-rays and make med adjustments during a flare, I sure hope it doesn't last until April 12th.

I look like a freak with wrist guards on both my arms! Oh yeah, this sucks. I've tried for like the last week to just buck up, not complain, keep moving but alas today all the BS caught up with me.

So I am going back to the couch. No more posts today.

In recovery mode
Joytobe

15 Minute Day -Welcome to my therapy session

Have I got news for you.

I am not all together. Sometimes I am all together. Today ain't that day. I am irritated, overwhelmed, anxious and just plain blah today. I could figure out why but that would take energy. Beep beep beep, back up the truck. Maybe I should know why in order to fix it.

Things have not gone according to my "master plan" this week. Sick kids, sick dog, me sick, sick husband, connective tissue flare up, girlfriend break ups. But I should take a deep breath. I rolled with the punches this week. The kids are better, I feel better, the dog is better, husband feeling better, son's heart is on the mend too. Who-hoo my errands even got done today on my third attempt this week! I did it. I took care of everyone.

My house is a freakin pit. Almost nothing got done in the house this week. That makes me feel overwhelmed. My old favorite saying (I still think it is funny), "If I don't know where to start, then I am not going to start at all."

This is when I initiate the 15 minute day. I can't take credit for this idea at all. Thank FlyLady for this gem. I am setting my timer and working on one task for 15 minutes only. Her motto is you can do anything for 15 minutes. My timer is ticking right now as I write. This really does work. When I walked in my house from doing errands I wanted to curl up on the couch and pull a blanket over my head to hide from the insurmountable mess around me. Instead I went to the pile of dishes in and around the sink. I set my timer for 15 minutes thinking well ok I'll just stop when the timer goes off and take a break. My timer went off and I couldn't believe my eyes. The dishwasher was full and the sink empty. Who -hoo

So the timer just went off. I am off to finish cleaning the kitchen. (wipe down counters, put some kitchen clutter away.) Who knows what glory the next 15 minutes will bring.

Beep Beep
Joytobe

I am Related to a Gangster

Henrietta Younger and the Younger Brothers

Cole Younger

I am not sure if you would say a ganster. Or gang member. I am related to the Younger Brothers, who rode with Jesse James. They ultimately were caught right here in Minnesota!!

Here is how I am related (this gets confusing even for me).

My great grandmother was Bettie Rawlins. My father's, father's, mother. tee hee

She had a brother, my great great uncle, named A. Bledsoe Rawlins.

He was married to a lady, my great great aunt, named Henrietta Younger.

Her brothers were THE YOUNGER BROTHERS! The famous outlaws of the 1800's.

Okay so the relationship was an in-law type of thing. So I am only related to the Younger Brother by marriage not by blood. But still it is interesting as hell to me. (What an odd saying....is hell really interesting?) hhhmm don't know why I would have chosen those words? Moving on. I guess it was so interesting because my father remembered tales of the brothers coming to visit their sister in Alvarado. And that they stashed some of their robbery treasures around Alvarado!

Also Interesting. My great great grandfather, Captain R.A. Rawlins (Bettie Rawlins father from above) was a captain in the Confederate Army. His home is still standing and is a historical site in Texas. This home is still owned by the family. I have spoken with them and am invited whenever I am in town. Coooooooool. I love history.

Here is the story of the Younger brothers final robbery.

Frank and Jesse James, Cole, Jim and Bob Younger, Charlie Pitts, Clell Miller, and Bill Chadwell took the train to St. Paul and Minneapolis at the beginning of September 1876. They divided into two groups, one going to Mankato, Minnesota and the other to Red Wing, on either side of Northfield. They purchased horses and scouted the terrain around the town. On September 7, 1876, at 2 p.m., they attempted to rob the bank. Three outlaws entered the bank, and the other five stood guard outside. The citizens realized a robbery was in progress and took up arms. Shooting from behind cover, they poured a deadly fire on the outlaws, killing Miller and Chadwell, and wounding the Youngers (particularly Bob, who suffered a shattered elbow). They also shot Bob Younger's horse. One of the outlaws shot Nicholas Gustafson, a bystander, dead in the street. Inside the bank, cashier Joseph Lee Heywood refused to open the safe and was murdered in cold blood for his resistance. The infamous failure of the raid is celebrated every year in Northfield as Defeat of Jesse James Days.

Bob Younger died in prison of tuberculosis at age 36 in 1889. Cole and Jim were both paroled in 1901 but Jim could not cope and shot himself to death the next year. He was 54. Cole lived until 1916, when he died at age 72. The Youngers remained loyal to the Jameses when they were in prison and never informed on them. They ended up being model prisoners and in one incident helped keep other prisoners from escaping during a fire at the prison. Cole Younger also founded the longest-running prison newspaper in the United States during his stay in Fargo.

Did you follow all that? Now I know where my rebellious side comes from.

Your rebel without a cause,

Joytobe

Step into my World

Here are my random thoughts. Enjoy the ride.


So I was thinking about bouncing. How I love to bounce. (follow my insane train of thought here -try to keep up.) Why do I love to bounce? It makes me smile. It makes me lighter. It lightens my load not my weight I mean. This made me think of Tigger, my favorite Winnie the Pooh character. (I have a Tigger stuffed animal on my dresser.) So I am like Tigger I decided.


Tigger is an optimist. Happy go lucky. Confident even though he is often wrong in his analysis of a situation. Hmmmm... Maybe I am not like Tigger. Tigger would never use the word analysis.


So I started thinking. Maybe I am like Pooh Bear (the great Poohbah)


Pooh is cuddly. The best kind of best friend. He'll listen when that is what you need. Encourage you when you feel..... well....discouraged.


But maybe Piglet. Piglet is just sweet, kind and insecure. Aren't we all a little insecure? In many ways, Yep that is me.


But what about Rabbit. Oh Yeah Rabbit would definitely use the word analysis. Rabbit is smart. Maybe too smart for his own good.


Oh and then there is Eeyore, my sad floppy friend. The endless pessimist. Always down and out.


Through this train of thought I came to the conclusion that I am all of these. You are all of these. Maybe that is why so many children adore Winnie the Pooh. It's a reflection.


hmmmm...I just reread this and I am nuts.

Welcome to my world.
Joytobe

Bathing suit

Why do I feel the need to exercise? I have one word for you.......

Bathing Suit

Oh..well two words. And I have to put one on in 3 months!
Also I feel good when I exercise. Once I have done it for a few weeks I actually have less aches and pains than when I don't exercise.

Check mark on the exercise. yay!!!

Later we speak about laundry....I promise.
Joytobe

In the beginning...... again!

So okay all I have to say is...Here we go again. Well not exactly.

I have decided going forward this is my outward purpose. I mean my true purpose is always my family but aside from that. I want a purpose. Have you seen the movie "Julie and Julia"? Well I highly recommend it! It made me think about this.


What are my passions? finding a balance between all of these; my marriage, parenting, self reflection, faith, organization, helping others, finding/feeling peace, reading and writing. These are in no particular order. I believe none of them could exist without the others. The key to the juggle of these is to accept imperfection. How boring is perfection? Life is a constant realization and adjustment.


This is my journey to my own self awareness and discovery. Want to join me?


Yes? Well great meet me back here tomorrow. Eat a good breakfest, get a good nights sleep and let's dig deep!


On a side note please spend a few moments lifting up Kate Mcrae in loving thoughts and prayer to whomever you pray. This family is struggling with childhood cancer needs our help.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate



A. Joytobe