Here it is. The finished product. Now we will be getting her a desk since she got rid of a lot of old toys. I love the stripes.
I couldn't have done it without the help from my neighbor.
Thank you so much Tracy
Joytobe
Thursday, March 31, 2011
15 Days to go - Freakin Winter 3-31-2011
The last day of March. Wow. The days go so fast although winter seems to drag on. I look forward to warm summer nights with the sound of frogs and crickets.
There is no school today for my elementary student. What to do? She is scheming about some April Fools trickery. hmmm I'll have to keep my eye on this one!
I am feeling discombobulated this morning. A little off. Perhaps the change to my normal Thursday schedule or the impending weather forecast and gray skies out my window.
Rain with possible snow showers. Another chance of snow Monday. blech
So now I am looking for inspiration. Something to move me.....or the alternative....a nap.
Nope gotta move. Move my body or my mind. For the level of blah I am feeling I need both probably.
I may start my outdoor gardening planning this week.
Maybe that will work. I'll give it a shot.
I'll let you know how that turns out.
Soon I will post pictures of Savanah's new paint in her room. I love it.
Joytobe
There is no school today for my elementary student. What to do? She is scheming about some April Fools trickery. hmmm I'll have to keep my eye on this one!
I am feeling discombobulated this morning. A little off. Perhaps the change to my normal Thursday schedule or the impending weather forecast and gray skies out my window.
Rain with possible snow showers. Another chance of snow Monday. blech
So now I am looking for inspiration. Something to move me.....or the alternative....a nap.
Nope gotta move. Move my body or my mind. For the level of blah I am feeling I need both probably.
I may start my outdoor gardening planning this week.
Maybe that will work. I'll give it a shot.
I'll let you know how that turns out.
Soon I will post pictures of Savanah's new paint in her room. I love it.
Joytobe
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Blogger problems
If you haven't noticed already I am having technical difficulties with blogger. Not sure if it them or my operator error.
All of my sentences are bunching together the second I save a post. So huh, bear with me.
All of my sentences are bunching together the second I save a post. So huh, bear with me.
16 Days to go - Freakin Winter 3-30-2011
16 days until I officially rule winter complete. 2 days until April 1st. Ahhhh I saw a bug today!! A fly flying. I saw a robin. I also heard the spring call of a cardinal. I promise warmer days ahead.
I went for a walk yesterday and it felt glorious. Although it was only 42 degrees. Can you believe 42 degrees felt good? The sun was shinning and there was no wind. Today should be about 45 degrees. Funny how in September 45 degrees feels frigid. In March 42 degrees feels manageable.
Can't wait to feel 75!!
Joytobe
I went for a walk yesterday and it felt glorious. Although it was only 42 degrees. Can you believe 42 degrees felt good? The sun was shinning and there was no wind. Today should be about 45 degrees. Funny how in September 45 degrees feels frigid. In March 42 degrees feels manageable.
Can't wait to feel 75!!
Joytobe
Happiness #4 - Gratitude
This is number #4 on my list of ingredients.
Gratitude
Why gratitude? Well simply said, You can't be miserable when you are filled with gratitude.
When you are feeling down name your blessings. Don't count them, name them. This one is truly that simple and there is not really any more to say about it.
Just fill your heart with gratitude.
Joytobe
Gratitude
Why gratitude? Well simply said, You can't be miserable when you are filled with gratitude.
When you are feeling down name your blessings. Don't count them, name them. This one is truly that simple and there is not really any more to say about it.
Just fill your heart with gratitude.
Joytobe
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Happiness #3 - Worry and Stress
#3 on my list of ingredients.
Dealing with worry and stress effectively.
Everyone has stress, no one is immune. People deal with stress and worry all the time, whether or not they realize it. A lot of times people self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. We know these are unhealthy and can damage every aspect of your life. This will sabotage your happiness and your relationships. If you or a loved one is trapped in this hell please seek professional help.
There are a lot of other unhealthy self-medicating ways individuals deal with stress. Eating, hoarding, shopping, extreme exercising. I do some of these myself ......a little. That would be the key. I eat for necessity, pleasure, boredom or escape. I drink alcohol occasionally to take the edge off. I shop and will occasionally partake in a senseless impulse purchase. I guess I don't hoard. Moderation is the key here. Exercise is a great stress reliever for me. Going for a walk. But there are people who exercise all day becoming addicted.
Speaking of addiction I am letting the cat out of the bag. For those who don't know this, I smoke. :( I smoke as a way to relieve stress and I smoke because I am addicted to smoking. Smoking is like my quiet time. It's my 10 minute break from the world. I don't smoke in my house or my car. So I smoke on the porch or the deck. Can you imagine me all huddled up against the Minnesota winter wind standing outside like a damn fool to smoke a cigarette? ridiculous. Do I know how bad it is for me? I do and even more so with my particular family history of heart disease and bladder cancer. So You are hearing it now!!!! I am choosing a date to quit. I will announce that day on that day. I am working up a plan. And a new way to experience that 10 minute break.
Stress and worry will steal from your happiness. And can take years from your life.
I feel the key here is to find ways of dealing with it effectively in a healthy manner instead of trying to escape from it.
Some methods I use:
Make a worry journal
Instead of making mental notes. I make written notes. Staple some pieces of paper together. Each piece of paper gets two worries. One at the top of the page and one about half way down. Then look at each worry separately asking questions and writing down the answers. Is there anything I can do about this? What needs to be done? the steps? Dates to complete steps.
Then I use this piece of paper to make notes. Say one of the steps is to "call Mary to confirm cancellation." I call and leave a message for Mary. I will put that note there, "Called Mary Left message on 2-25-2011. Follow up on 2-27-2011 if I haven't heard back."
So often I go through life thinking about what needs to be done. But this really frees up my mind, so I can enjoy moments with my family or just enjoy quiet time with a quiet brain. No nagging question or looming doom! Because I know I am doing what I can and controlling the situation as best I know how. Everything has been captured and is "in process".
1 Minute Meditation
Taking five really deep breaths. On the intake I breath in through my nose and I think the words "clear the mechanism" ( I saw this in the movie For the Love of the Game). I exhale the breath through my mouth making a sighing noise as I let the air out. As you exhale try to relax your entire body especially your shoulders. Just let them droop. Repeat this five times.
Then I stretch my whole body. Doesn't stretching feel magnificent? If my mind starts to wonder back to what I was worrying (obsessing) about. I repeat over and over, "Here and now". When I am done I get up and do something physical or busy work. Fold laundry, clean a room, empty the dishwasher. Just something that makes me move and makes me feel accomplishment. These steps really do help me.
Exercise
I go for a 30 minute walk. or I put on loud bouncy music. and jump. Just jump for one song.
Stop Procrastinating
I have learned over time that often I create a crisis by procrastinating. If I had taken care of a problem it would not have escalated to the boiling point. If I extinguish a small flame it does not turn into a raging inferno. I have had to examine why I procrastinate. If something is really irritating me I find I put it off. Also if I am doubting my ability to do something I procrastinate.
Here is a current example. 6 months ago I got a crack in my windshield. It was a little irritating to me because it was a nuisance. I dealt with it. Called my insurance, called the window place, got it fixed. It was an inconvenience. One month later a freaking rock flies at my windshield and cracked the dang thing again. I have been so irritated that I have somewhat subconsciously refused to start the process and call the insurance. So I have been driving around with a cracked windshield for 5 months. I keep thinking dang I need to get that fixed.
Now if I really think hard about this I realize a few things. 1. It is dangerous to drive with a cracked windshield. 2. I worry about it. It yells at me every time I get in the car. 3. I'm breaking the law. And the most important. 4. If I had gotten the windshield fixed immediately, I would not have wasted all of this time worrying and feeling angry.
Guess what I am doing tomorrow. Yeah it's time.
Write
Often I write about my worries or frustrations here or in a separate journal. It helps me think through things.
Talk
And sometimes I just need to talk about it with someone I trust. I mostly talk to my husband, my sister or a good friend. Getting the words out there helps. Sometimes they give me great advice or a shoulder to cry on. It reminds me I am not alone.
So how do you deal with stress? How could you do it more effectively?
Joytobe
Dealing with worry and stress effectively.
Everyone has stress, no one is immune. People deal with stress and worry all the time, whether or not they realize it. A lot of times people self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. We know these are unhealthy and can damage every aspect of your life. This will sabotage your happiness and your relationships. If you or a loved one is trapped in this hell please seek professional help.
There are a lot of other unhealthy self-medicating ways individuals deal with stress. Eating, hoarding, shopping, extreme exercising. I do some of these myself ......a little. That would be the key. I eat for necessity, pleasure, boredom or escape. I drink alcohol occasionally to take the edge off. I shop and will occasionally partake in a senseless impulse purchase. I guess I don't hoard. Moderation is the key here. Exercise is a great stress reliever for me. Going for a walk. But there are people who exercise all day becoming addicted.
Speaking of addiction I am letting the cat out of the bag. For those who don't know this, I smoke. :( I smoke as a way to relieve stress and I smoke because I am addicted to smoking. Smoking is like my quiet time. It's my 10 minute break from the world. I don't smoke in my house or my car. So I smoke on the porch or the deck. Can you imagine me all huddled up against the Minnesota winter wind standing outside like a damn fool to smoke a cigarette? ridiculous. Do I know how bad it is for me? I do and even more so with my particular family history of heart disease and bladder cancer. So You are hearing it now!!!! I am choosing a date to quit. I will announce that day on that day. I am working up a plan. And a new way to experience that 10 minute break.
Stress and worry will steal from your happiness. And can take years from your life.
I feel the key here is to find ways of dealing with it effectively in a healthy manner instead of trying to escape from it.
Some methods I use:
Make a worry journal
Instead of making mental notes. I make written notes. Staple some pieces of paper together. Each piece of paper gets two worries. One at the top of the page and one about half way down. Then look at each worry separately asking questions and writing down the answers. Is there anything I can do about this? What needs to be done? the steps? Dates to complete steps.
Then I use this piece of paper to make notes. Say one of the steps is to "call Mary to confirm cancellation." I call and leave a message for Mary. I will put that note there, "Called Mary Left message on 2-25-2011. Follow up on 2-27-2011 if I haven't heard back."
So often I go through life thinking about what needs to be done. But this really frees up my mind, so I can enjoy moments with my family or just enjoy quiet time with a quiet brain. No nagging question or looming doom! Because I know I am doing what I can and controlling the situation as best I know how. Everything has been captured and is "in process".
1 Minute Meditation
Taking five really deep breaths. On the intake I breath in through my nose and I think the words "clear the mechanism" ( I saw this in the movie For the Love of the Game). I exhale the breath through my mouth making a sighing noise as I let the air out. As you exhale try to relax your entire body especially your shoulders. Just let them droop. Repeat this five times.
Then I stretch my whole body. Doesn't stretching feel magnificent? If my mind starts to wonder back to what I was worrying (obsessing) about. I repeat over and over, "Here and now". When I am done I get up and do something physical or busy work. Fold laundry, clean a room, empty the dishwasher. Just something that makes me move and makes me feel accomplishment. These steps really do help me.
Exercise
I go for a 30 minute walk. or I put on loud bouncy music. and jump. Just jump for one song.
Stop Procrastinating
I have learned over time that often I create a crisis by procrastinating. If I had taken care of a problem it would not have escalated to the boiling point. If I extinguish a small flame it does not turn into a raging inferno. I have had to examine why I procrastinate. If something is really irritating me I find I put it off. Also if I am doubting my ability to do something I procrastinate.
Here is a current example. 6 months ago I got a crack in my windshield. It was a little irritating to me because it was a nuisance. I dealt with it. Called my insurance, called the window place, got it fixed. It was an inconvenience. One month later a freaking rock flies at my windshield and cracked the dang thing again. I have been so irritated that I have somewhat subconsciously refused to start the process and call the insurance. So I have been driving around with a cracked windshield for 5 months. I keep thinking dang I need to get that fixed.
Now if I really think hard about this I realize a few things. 1. It is dangerous to drive with a cracked windshield. 2. I worry about it. It yells at me every time I get in the car. 3. I'm breaking the law. And the most important. 4. If I had gotten the windshield fixed immediately, I would not have wasted all of this time worrying and feeling angry.
Guess what I am doing tomorrow. Yeah it's time.
Write
Often I write about my worries or frustrations here or in a separate journal. It helps me think through things.
Talk
And sometimes I just need to talk about it with someone I trust. I mostly talk to my husband, my sister or a good friend. Getting the words out there helps. Sometimes they give me great advice or a shoulder to cry on. It reminds me I am not alone.
So how do you deal with stress? How could you do it more effectively?
Joytobe
Saturday, March 26, 2011
A Treasure
Today Jeff and I are going to Pama's home at the assisted living to finish clearing out her things. It is difficult. I am anxious to get it completed. Maybe it will help with some closure.
I have gone back there a few times to work on this difficult task. I would like for today to be the last time I have to go there. When I am there I am touched by the people who come and talk to me. Residents and staff adored Pama. They have told me how they miss her. Everyone was very shocked by her unexpected passing.
The nurses and aides and the director of the assisted living have all made it a point to tell me how peaceful she looked that morning. One said it was like God had just lifted her soul leaving her body peacefully resting. They all said she looked beautiful.
When I go through Pama's clothing I am reminded of the woman that she was. So many of her shirts are beautiful and bright with fantastic patterns. I love it. This vibrancy that belonged to her. This vibrancy that she wore so well.
I remember going to visit her feeling excited to see what shirt she would be wearing today. What earrings would adorn her ears?
The dinning room at the assisted living was beautiful. Two story windows looked out over Lake Johanna. Bird feeders lined the windows. Brightly colored birds, geese, ducks and squirrels provided constant entertainment. I like to remember her sitting there smiling and commenting on the antics of the animals.
There was one thing in particular that I found in Pama's belongings that was endearing to me and spoke to Pama's character.
At the assisted living they would use paper place mats at mealtimes. On holidays and sometimes for no particular reason, instead of just white they would use colorful paper place mats. Fourth of July would be red white and blue with flags, the first day of spring would be colorful flowers, fall would be orange and red leaves. My grandmother would neatly fold them up before she ate and keep them. Paper place mats were beautiful and special to her. That is who she was. She could find beauty and something worth cherishing in the simplest of things.
She treasured life and she was a treasure to those who knew her.
Joyce
I have gone back there a few times to work on this difficult task. I would like for today to be the last time I have to go there. When I am there I am touched by the people who come and talk to me. Residents and staff adored Pama. They have told me how they miss her. Everyone was very shocked by her unexpected passing.
The nurses and aides and the director of the assisted living have all made it a point to tell me how peaceful she looked that morning. One said it was like God had just lifted her soul leaving her body peacefully resting. They all said she looked beautiful.
When I go through Pama's clothing I am reminded of the woman that she was. So many of her shirts are beautiful and bright with fantastic patterns. I love it. This vibrancy that belonged to her. This vibrancy that she wore so well.
I remember going to visit her feeling excited to see what shirt she would be wearing today. What earrings would adorn her ears?
The dinning room at the assisted living was beautiful. Two story windows looked out over Lake Johanna. Bird feeders lined the windows. Brightly colored birds, geese, ducks and squirrels provided constant entertainment. I like to remember her sitting there smiling and commenting on the antics of the animals.
There was one thing in particular that I found in Pama's belongings that was endearing to me and spoke to Pama's character.
At the assisted living they would use paper place mats at mealtimes. On holidays and sometimes for no particular reason, instead of just white they would use colorful paper place mats. Fourth of July would be red white and blue with flags, the first day of spring would be colorful flowers, fall would be orange and red leaves. My grandmother would neatly fold them up before she ate and keep them. Paper place mats were beautiful and special to her. That is who she was. She could find beauty and something worth cherishing in the simplest of things.
She treasured life and she was a treasure to those who knew her.
Joyce
Friday, March 25, 2011
21 Days to go - Freakin Winter 3-25-2011
I got most of the snow off of my deck..... again. I actually sat out there in the sunshine yesterday for a few minutes reading a book. It was nice.
The good thing about March snow, it melts rather quickly because of the angle of the sun even when the temp is below 32.
Billy tried out for Elk River Cheer yesterday. I hope he makes it. He told me how fun it is to just be himself, jump around and yell. I am proud of him. He is fearless and he knows himself very well.
No school today for Savanah. So what to do? hmmm I'll think of something.
One week from today.......will be.......April 1st. Oh boy. I used to be a big April Fool's Day prankster. Then I figured out my family really didn't enjoy the tradition as they took the brunt of the torture. So I stopped BUT I threaten each year. I make them wonder, "What is she going to do to me this year?" That in itself becomes it's own fun prank but with less casualties.
Another post on happiness on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
Joytobe
The good thing about March snow, it melts rather quickly because of the angle of the sun even when the temp is below 32.
Billy tried out for Elk River Cheer yesterday. I hope he makes it. He told me how fun it is to just be himself, jump around and yell. I am proud of him. He is fearless and he knows himself very well.
No school today for Savanah. So what to do? hmmm I'll think of something.
One week from today.......will be.......April 1st. Oh boy. I used to be a big April Fool's Day prankster. Then I figured out my family really didn't enjoy the tradition as they took the brunt of the torture. So I stopped BUT I threaten each year. I make them wonder, "What is she going to do to me this year?" That in itself becomes it's own fun prank but with less casualties.
Another post on happiness on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
Joytobe
Thursday, March 24, 2011
22 Days to go : Freakin Winter 3-24-2011
Why write about happiness?
Because it is March in Minnesota and happiness is hard to find!! Just breath...spring will come..eventually.
Some people are born with a genetic abundance of happiness. I am not one of them. Some researchers say 50% of a person's happiness is determined by genetics. That means 50% of my happiness is determined by me. Now I know that my genetic disposition for happiness may be low. My parents were some of the most unhappy people I've known.
But what a wonderful thought that my attitude and my reaction to circumstance can control a portion of my own happiness.
So the way I see it, the rest is up to me. I am no psychologist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or great philosopher. I am just a normal but determined, Joe, who struggles with depression and anxiety.
I love being around people who are just naturally joyous. You know the ones. But me.... I have to work a little at it. Sometimes I don't suceed.
I am intrigued by discoveries about myself and others on this journey of life and pursuit of happiness.
So I write. Maybe my writing will help someone else. It certainly helps me.
Joytobe
Because it is March in Minnesota and happiness is hard to find!! Just breath...spring will come..eventually.
Some people are born with a genetic abundance of happiness. I am not one of them. Some researchers say 50% of a person's happiness is determined by genetics. That means 50% of my happiness is determined by me. Now I know that my genetic disposition for happiness may be low. My parents were some of the most unhappy people I've known.
But what a wonderful thought that my attitude and my reaction to circumstance can control a portion of my own happiness.
So the way I see it, the rest is up to me. I am no psychologist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or great philosopher. I am just a normal but determined, Joe, who struggles with depression and anxiety.
I love being around people who are just naturally joyous. You know the ones. But me.... I have to work a little at it. Sometimes I don't suceed.
I am intrigued by discoveries about myself and others on this journey of life and pursuit of happiness.
So I write. Maybe my writing will help someone else. It certainly helps me.
Joytobe
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I Have Had it!
Oh man, I'm pissy, pissy, pissy. seriously irritated!!
grrrrrr. I think all of Minnesota is done. Everyone has a slight to large scowl on their face!
Not sure what to do with what I am feeling. Gotta think this through.
Wish me luck or duck.
Joytobe
grrrrrr. I think all of Minnesota is done. Everyone has a slight to large scowl on their face!
Not sure what to do with what I am feeling. Gotta think this through.
Wish me luck or duck.
Joytobe
23 Days to go - Freakin Winter 3-23-2011
Okay so as I watch the snow falling and I see 1/2 inch of ice and 6 inches of the white blah on my deck, I am trying to focus on positive thoughts. hmmmm let me think.
It's going to get colder the rest of the week. This will slow the melting therefore decreasing the flood threat. Okay I'll take that positive.
The snow fills in the wicked pot holes. Okay that is positive.
School was closed today because of the snow. This gives Billy a chance to catch up from being out of school last week. He also needs to do some serious reading for his report due next week.
I also got to sleep in. That is good.
I don't have to go anywhere today. That's good too. My honey made it to work safely.
So there you have it.
That's all I got.
Joytobe
It's going to get colder the rest of the week. This will slow the melting therefore decreasing the flood threat. Okay I'll take that positive.
The snow fills in the wicked pot holes. Okay that is positive.
School was closed today because of the snow. This gives Billy a chance to catch up from being out of school last week. He also needs to do some serious reading for his report due next week.
I also got to sleep in. That is good.
I don't have to go anywhere today. That's good too. My honey made it to work safely.
So there you have it.
That's all I got.
Joytobe
Happiness #2 : Passion
As my grandmother was the happiest person I've known, it seems appropriate to continue with the search for happiness topic.
This was #2 on my list of ingredients.
Finding and Pursuing your passion.
This sounds so easy, doesn't it? It is not as easy as it sounds but......It's not as difficult as you think either.
To find your passion. Ask yourself some questions. First (oddly enough) take others out of this equation. We all experience great joy just being with our family or doing things for the ones we love but I'm talking about you here. So when you are by yourself.......
When are you most happy? What are you doing when you are most happy? List a minimum of three things but no more than six.
Your answer will be unique to you. It could be mountain climbing, reading, playing tennis, skydiving, driving, singing, cleaning, training your dog, etc.
Mine happen to be: (in no particular order)
Writing
Organizing
Planning
Gardening
Walking
Helping others
These are my passions! Just because it is my passion doesn't mean I am accomplished at this task or that I do it often. It means I am happiest when I am doing these things. These things move me, make me feel fulfilled.
Again take your family out of this equation. Of course my children and my husband are my passion too.
But also remember what we talked about yesterday. How is your relationship with yourself? You can't have a great relationship with someone else if you don't have one with yourself first. Nurture yourself as you would a child.
Pursuing your passion
Now I can feel the angst with this one. Do I need to quit my job and become a mountain trail guide because I love to hike? No you don't. You can and more power to you if you decide to take your passion to that level.
But I am also a realist. I have lived paycheck to paycheck. I understand the needs of my family and myself to survive and thrive. I have responsibilities to myself and others.
So I need to think of how I can pursue these passions and still live up to my responsibility.
Think of the impossible as possible.
Here is an example: Your passion is to become a nurse. You need to go back to school but you work full time supporting your son as a single parent. Look into night school. Even if it is one night a week. People, including yourself, may be tempted to say or think with a groan, "That will take forever." I say "NO, if you never start, then IT WILL TAKE FOREVER." If you can't afford to take the class or have daycare issues. Even if it seems completely impossible and truly it is just not feasible. Don't give up! So it may not happen now but that doesn't mean you can't make it happen in the future when circumstances change.
I knew a lady who so wanted to become a teacher. She married right out of high school. Didn't go to college, had three children. When the youngest of the three started school, so did she. She became a teacher. And a great one.
Now assuming your pursuit of your passion does not involve career change, what does that mean? Make time in your life for your passion!!!! If you love to sculpt with clay, schedule it in your calendar. Love yourself enough to fulfill your passion. Make it happen. You owe this to yourself.
Now on the flip side, I hate to bring this up at all. But I have to. I would feel neglectful if I didn't. My mother had a passion for painting and craft projects. She allowed this passion to become an obsession. It took over our home and her life. It became, to be brutally honest, more important than anything including people. She lost her relationships (#1 on the ingredient list) and filled that void with paint. Sad but true.
Recognize a few key points:
Nothing is impossible even if it is not possible right now.
Your passion does not need to be your job. That would be great but not always realistic. You can pursue a passion outside of employment.
Don't let your passion become your obsession.
Your passions may change as you change.
Sincerely and Passionately,
Joytobe
This was #2 on my list of ingredients.
Finding and Pursuing your passion.
This sounds so easy, doesn't it? It is not as easy as it sounds but......It's not as difficult as you think either.
To find your passion. Ask yourself some questions. First (oddly enough) take others out of this equation. We all experience great joy just being with our family or doing things for the ones we love but I'm talking about you here. So when you are by yourself.......
When are you most happy? What are you doing when you are most happy? List a minimum of three things but no more than six.
Your answer will be unique to you. It could be mountain climbing, reading, playing tennis, skydiving, driving, singing, cleaning, training your dog, etc.
Mine happen to be: (in no particular order)
Writing
Organizing
Planning
Gardening
Walking
Helping others
These are my passions! Just because it is my passion doesn't mean I am accomplished at this task or that I do it often. It means I am happiest when I am doing these things. These things move me, make me feel fulfilled.
Again take your family out of this equation. Of course my children and my husband are my passion too.
But also remember what we talked about yesterday. How is your relationship with yourself? You can't have a great relationship with someone else if you don't have one with yourself first. Nurture yourself as you would a child.
Pursuing your passion
Now I can feel the angst with this one. Do I need to quit my job and become a mountain trail guide because I love to hike? No you don't. You can and more power to you if you decide to take your passion to that level.
But I am also a realist. I have lived paycheck to paycheck. I understand the needs of my family and myself to survive and thrive. I have responsibilities to myself and others.
So I need to think of how I can pursue these passions and still live up to my responsibility.
Think of the impossible as possible.
Here is an example: Your passion is to become a nurse. You need to go back to school but you work full time supporting your son as a single parent. Look into night school. Even if it is one night a week. People, including yourself, may be tempted to say or think with a groan, "That will take forever." I say "NO, if you never start, then IT WILL TAKE FOREVER." If you can't afford to take the class or have daycare issues. Even if it seems completely impossible and truly it is just not feasible. Don't give up! So it may not happen now but that doesn't mean you can't make it happen in the future when circumstances change.
I knew a lady who so wanted to become a teacher. She married right out of high school. Didn't go to college, had three children. When the youngest of the three started school, so did she. She became a teacher. And a great one.
Now assuming your pursuit of your passion does not involve career change, what does that mean? Make time in your life for your passion!!!! If you love to sculpt with clay, schedule it in your calendar. Love yourself enough to fulfill your passion. Make it happen. You owe this to yourself.
Now on the flip side, I hate to bring this up at all. But I have to. I would feel neglectful if I didn't. My mother had a passion for painting and craft projects. She allowed this passion to become an obsession. It took over our home and her life. It became, to be brutally honest, more important than anything including people. She lost her relationships (#1 on the ingredient list) and filled that void with paint. Sad but true.
Recognize a few key points:
Nothing is impossible even if it is not possible right now.
Your passion does not need to be your job. That would be great but not always realistic. You can pursue a passion outside of employment.
Don't let your passion become your obsession.
Your passions may change as you change.
Sincerely and Passionately,
Joytobe
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
This sucks!
Okay tomorrow I am getting back to the weather therapy. But......
This sucks!!! We are under a Winter Storm Warning. 6-10 inches of snow. I just got to see most of my grass. Damn. Sorry But seriously, "Are you kidding me?" "Are you freakin kidding me?"
I will say this...I knew it was coming. I tried to pretend winter was over. Heck we had a few 50+ degree days. For a few blissful days I did not wear a jacket. I told Jeff, "Guess we are done with measurable snowfall." He just gave me a knowing smile. He knew.... It was all just as cozy lie.
These are the worst days of winter. The tease of spring and then BAM, the cold wind and frozen precipitation slaps you across your face. A whole week of temperatures not getting above 37 degrees. Yes this is the true test. The true grit of the Minnesotan needs to be summoned.
I will embrace my insanity over the next 10 days.
Then I will say hello to April.
Joytobe
This sucks!!! We are under a Winter Storm Warning. 6-10 inches of snow. I just got to see most of my grass. Damn. Sorry But seriously, "Are you kidding me?" "Are you freakin kidding me?"
I will say this...I knew it was coming. I tried to pretend winter was over. Heck we had a few 50+ degree days. For a few blissful days I did not wear a jacket. I told Jeff, "Guess we are done with measurable snowfall." He just gave me a knowing smile. He knew.... It was all just as cozy lie.
These are the worst days of winter. The tease of spring and then BAM, the cold wind and frozen precipitation slaps you across your face. A whole week of temperatures not getting above 37 degrees. Yes this is the true test. The true grit of the Minnesotan needs to be summoned.
I will embrace my insanity over the next 10 days.
Then I will say hello to April.
Joytobe
Traveling
Today Pama's body was buried in her beloved El Paso Texas next to her adoring husband. There is comfort for me in that.
I also found peace with letting her body go. Not by the means most people would think. Like thinking, what would she want? Or, that is just her body. Her soul is already with the Lord. Although those things are true and significant, one thing in particular helped me. I thought of Pama watching from heaven seeing my uncle and I fighting over her body. Angry actually probably very hateful words would have been said. That would make her sad. She loved us dearly and loved her son unconditionally. So with that thought and mostly God's help I am at peace.
I am slowly traveling the path back to the living. It is part of the grieving process. For the last week almost all I could think of was my Pama and my tragedy. Necessity pulls me back to reality. I think to myself, "Now, where was I before my world flipped?" Ah oh yeah. Canceled doctor appointments need to be rescheduled, vet appointment, bills need to be paid, etc. The world will continue to turn without me participating.
Now thoughts of Pama come and go. Sometimes I feel a little guilty as if I am forgetting her. I am not. No one lived life more beautifully than Pama and she would want this for me too.
This will be a dance of course, two steps forward, one step back. I am sure as I clean out her room. I will take one giant leap backwards. But again I will move forward towards living..... with Pama as my inspiration.
I think all of this is God's way of healing the broken heart.
Joyce
I also found peace with letting her body go. Not by the means most people would think. Like thinking, what would she want? Or, that is just her body. Her soul is already with the Lord. Although those things are true and significant, one thing in particular helped me. I thought of Pama watching from heaven seeing my uncle and I fighting over her body. Angry actually probably very hateful words would have been said. That would make her sad. She loved us dearly and loved her son unconditionally. So with that thought and mostly God's help I am at peace.
I am slowly traveling the path back to the living. It is part of the grieving process. For the last week almost all I could think of was my Pama and my tragedy. Necessity pulls me back to reality. I think to myself, "Now, where was I before my world flipped?" Ah oh yeah. Canceled doctor appointments need to be rescheduled, vet appointment, bills need to be paid, etc. The world will continue to turn without me participating.
Now thoughts of Pama come and go. Sometimes I feel a little guilty as if I am forgetting her. I am not. No one lived life more beautifully than Pama and she would want this for me too.
This will be a dance of course, two steps forward, one step back. I am sure as I clean out her room. I will take one giant leap backwards. But again I will move forward towards living..... with Pama as my inspiration.
I think all of this is God's way of healing the broken heart.
Joyce
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Searching for Serentiy
I am asking God to help me grieve and replace my anger with peace.
I need to write my problem to release it.
My uncle, Gary did not take good care of my grandmother (his mother). Her house was damaged with a leaking roof and broken windows. Her clothes were falling apart. She had no food in her house. Her bank account had been depleted. She was being given unnecessary percocet to keep her in a confused state of mind. (my uncle would take half of the prescription for himself) This is how we found her in September 2006.
Since 2006 and being in our (her grandchildren) care she hadn't required narcotic pain killers once.
We fought a three year battle to get guardianship of her. We all sacrificed so much. Our savings were depleted and relationships were tested beyond limits by stress. We survived it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Pama flourished in our care. She truly enjoyed the last 5 years of her life. Surrounded by her daughter until 2009 and her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She loved where she lived. She was by far the happiest most grateful person I have ever known. She never complained.
She journeyed to heaven Monday morning peacefully while she slept.
While making funeral plans we were suddenly informed my uncle is taking possession of her body. She is being shipped to Texas to be buried there.
I am struggling with this on so many levels. First, How can I give her back to someone who abused her? I know this is just her physical body and her soul that I adored is already in heaven. But still it feels so wrong.
Also, I (my family as well) have taken care of her now for awhile and just as I did for my mom when she died, I feel this huge responsibility to see her safely to her final resting place. I feel I owe this to her, she deserved to be treated respectfully and I need to ensure that happens. I am letting her down by letting her go.
I cannot stop this from happening so I am trying to deal with my anguish. It is hard enough to just say goodbye and give her to God.
So God I am asking you take great care of this special lady. She holds my heart, please fill it with serenity.
Joyce
I need to write my problem to release it.
My uncle, Gary did not take good care of my grandmother (his mother). Her house was damaged with a leaking roof and broken windows. Her clothes were falling apart. She had no food in her house. Her bank account had been depleted. She was being given unnecessary percocet to keep her in a confused state of mind. (my uncle would take half of the prescription for himself) This is how we found her in September 2006.
Since 2006 and being in our (her grandchildren) care she hadn't required narcotic pain killers once.
We fought a three year battle to get guardianship of her. We all sacrificed so much. Our savings were depleted and relationships were tested beyond limits by stress. We survived it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Pama flourished in our care. She truly enjoyed the last 5 years of her life. Surrounded by her daughter until 2009 and her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She loved where she lived. She was by far the happiest most grateful person I have ever known. She never complained.
She journeyed to heaven Monday morning peacefully while she slept.
While making funeral plans we were suddenly informed my uncle is taking possession of her body. She is being shipped to Texas to be buried there.
I am struggling with this on so many levels. First, How can I give her back to someone who abused her? I know this is just her physical body and her soul that I adored is already in heaven. But still it feels so wrong.
Also, I (my family as well) have taken care of her now for awhile and just as I did for my mom when she died, I feel this huge responsibility to see her safely to her final resting place. I feel I owe this to her, she deserved to be treated respectfully and I need to ensure that happens. I am letting her down by letting her go.
I cannot stop this from happening so I am trying to deal with my anguish. It is hard enough to just say goodbye and give her to God.
So God I am asking you take great care of this special lady. She holds my heart, please fill it with serenity.
Joyce
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
A Rough Day
I am having a rough day. All my emotions seem just at the surface of my skin. Tingling and bubbling.
I go through the motions that I must , calling and planning. Hiding my sorrow in busy motion and a numb professional voice.
But truthfully I am heartbroken. No one can quite know what my grandmother meant to me. She was the matriarch of our family. My hero, my friend, my inspiration, my heart.
I could always depend on her for a smile, a chuckle. Her joy and gratitude radiated to all that knew her.
Last week my niece, Cara interviewed Pama for a school project. Cara asked her, "What lessons have you learned in life?" Pama answered, "Tell the truth. Be yourself. Don't let anybody push you around."
Pama had medical conditions but they seemed under control. I thought I would have some warning. I thought her health would decline in a way that the doctors and I would know.
When I saw her last Friday her eyes lit up when she saw me from across the room. I wish I had stayed with her longer. I kissed and hugged her goodbye. Told her I loved her. As I walked away I turned to look at her, she was waving at me. I went back to her and kissed her again and told her "I'll see you soon."
In some ways I wish I had known in a little over 48 hours my chances to be with her would be gone.
I am thankful she passed the way she wished. She had said, "I don't want to know when it's coming. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, and hopefully I'll have lipstick on."
I think most people, myself included, hope to pass on into heaven so peacefully.
I have never known someone who lived so vibrantly.
I know where she is now but selfishly I regret. I just wish I had more time.
Joyce
I go through the motions that I must , calling and planning. Hiding my sorrow in busy motion and a numb professional voice.
But truthfully I am heartbroken. No one can quite know what my grandmother meant to me. She was the matriarch of our family. My hero, my friend, my inspiration, my heart.
I could always depend on her for a smile, a chuckle. Her joy and gratitude radiated to all that knew her.
Last week my niece, Cara interviewed Pama for a school project. Cara asked her, "What lessons have you learned in life?" Pama answered, "Tell the truth. Be yourself. Don't let anybody push you around."
Pama had medical conditions but they seemed under control. I thought I would have some warning. I thought her health would decline in a way that the doctors and I would know.
When I saw her last Friday her eyes lit up when she saw me from across the room. I wish I had stayed with her longer. I kissed and hugged her goodbye. Told her I loved her. As I walked away I turned to look at her, she was waving at me. I went back to her and kissed her again and told her "I'll see you soon."
In some ways I wish I had known in a little over 48 hours my chances to be with her would be gone.
I am thankful she passed the way she wished. She had said, "I don't want to know when it's coming. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, and hopefully I'll have lipstick on."
I think most people, myself included, hope to pass on into heaven so peacefully.
I have never known someone who lived so vibrantly.
I know where she is now but selfishly I regret. I just wish I had more time.
Joyce
Monday, March 14, 2011
An early morning phone call today literally brought me to my knees.
My beautiful Pama passed away last night in her sleep. The ache in my heart is almost unbearable. She has been reunited with her beloved daughter and husband. She is with her parents whom she hadn't seen since she was a young child when she was placed in an orphanage. Her mother died of tuberculosis when she was 5. She is with her sister.
They are all together now, welcoming her into heaven. My heart grieves so for my own loss.
On Friday when I saw her, she told me she wanted to have a picnic. I promised we would when the weather got warmer. She looked wonderful on Friday. Happy. I asked her how she was feeling. She said great. She joked with her usual wit.
I miss her. The sun will not shine so bright. Or maybe as my husband said the sun will shine brighter.
I am filled with sorrow knowing I will never see her again or hear her laugh.
Joyce
My beautiful Pama passed away last night in her sleep. The ache in my heart is almost unbearable. She has been reunited with her beloved daughter and husband. She is with her parents whom she hadn't seen since she was a young child when she was placed in an orphanage. Her mother died of tuberculosis when she was 5. She is with her sister.
They are all together now, welcoming her into heaven. My heart grieves so for my own loss.
On Friday when I saw her, she told me she wanted to have a picnic. I promised we would when the weather got warmer. She looked wonderful on Friday. Happy. I asked her how she was feeling. She said great. She joked with her usual wit.
I miss her. The sun will not shine so bright. Or maybe as my husband said the sun will shine brighter.
I am filled with sorrow knowing I will never see her again or hear her laugh.
Joyce
Sunday, March 13, 2011
33 Days to go - Freakin Winter 3-13-2011
Sunday Quotes
"Immature love says: I love you because I need you.
Mature love says: I need you because I love you." -unknown
"What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?" -unknown
Joytobe
"Immature love says: I love you because I need you.
Mature love says: I need you because I love you." -unknown
"What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?" -unknown
Joytobe
Saturday, March 12, 2011
34 Days to go - Freakin Winter 3-12-2011
Saturday Quotes
"Never hit a man when he is down - he might get up again." -unknown
"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted." -unknown
Joytobe
"Never hit a man when he is down - he might get up again." -unknown
"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted." -unknown
Joytobe
Friday, March 11, 2011
35 Days to go - Freakin Winter 3-11-2011
Sending out prayers to the people of Japan. Unbelievable!
So we are now......
Counting DOWN DOWN DOWN.
35 days remaining until I declare winter completely over. April 14th!!! You know I am practically a meteorologist?!
Daylight savings time starts this weekend. I am doing the happy sunshine dance!
Look for another happiness post on Monday!
Joytobe
So we are now......
Counting DOWN DOWN DOWN.
35 days remaining until I declare winter completely over. April 14th!!! You know I am practically a meteorologist?!
Daylight savings time starts this weekend. I am doing the happy sunshine dance!
Look for another happiness post on Monday!
Joytobe
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